Work— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Câu trả lời của bạn có nhiều từ ngữ lặp lại và sử dụng nhiều tiếng ừ, làm giảm tính tự nhiên và hiệu quả. Bạn nên trả lời trực tiếp, tránh lặp từ và sử dụng câu ngắn gọn, rõ ràng hơn.

Example: I am currently a grade 12 student at Nonda High School, specializing in the science stream because I am fascinated by how things and the world work.

Suggestion: Bạn nên trả lời trực tiếp câu hỏi, tránh lặp từ và sử dụng câu hoàn chỉnh, rõ ràng. Hãy tránh hỏi lại câu hỏi của giám khảo và dùng từ vựng phù hợp.

Example: I am currently a student at Noida High School. In the future, I hope to attend a business university to gain more knowledge about the economy and pursue my dream.

Suggestion: Bạn nên tránh nói "from your perspective" vì đây là ý kiến của bạn. Câu trả lời nên rõ ràng, mạch lạc và tránh lặp từ. Sử dụng liên từ để câu văn trôi chảy hơn.

Example: I think my school is a great place to study because it offers a supportive environment, excellent facilities, and teachers who are always willing to help us.

Suggestion: Bạn nên chú ý ngữ pháp, tránh lỗi như "I'm definitely love" và lặp từ. Câu trả lời nên ngắn gọn, rõ ràng và có liên kết logic giữa các ý.

Example: I definitely love the place where I study because it has a supportive environment, helpful teachers, and adequate facilities to prepare for exams.

Suggestion: Bạn nên tránh lặp từ và sử dụng câu ngắn gọn, rõ ràng hơn. Sử dụng liên từ để câu văn mạch lạc và tự nhiên hơn.

Example: Currently, I am preparing for university entrance exams in the business field. In the future, I hope to gain more knowledge about the economy and pursue my dream career.

× While I'm currently a student in grade 12 at Nonda High School where I specialize in science stream.

✓ I'm currently a student in grade 12 at Nonda High School where I specialize in the science stream.

The original sentence is a fragment starting with 'While' but lacks a main clause. Removing 'While' corrects the sentence structure and makes it complete.

× I specialize in science stream.

✓ I specialize in the science stream.

The phrase 'science stream' requires the definite article 'the' because it refers to a specific stream.

× how the world work.

✓ how the world works.

The subject 'world' is singular, so the verb should be 'works' to agree in number.

× Do you work well now?

✓ Do you work now?

The adverb 'well' is unnecessary and makes the question awkward. Removing it clarifies the question.

× Actually, I'm just students and, and, and I'm studying at Noida High School.

✓ Actually, I'm just a student and I'm studying at Noida High School.

The subject 'I' is singular, so 'students' should be singular 'a student' to match.

× I hope that I can get a place at business university where I can, uh, have more opportunities to gain more knowledge about the economy and pursue my dream.

✓ I hope that I can get a place at a business university where I can have more opportunities to gain more knowledge about the economy and pursue my dream.

The phrase 'business university' needs the indefinite article 'a' because it refers to any business university, not a specific one.

× Well, from your perspective, I think my school is a great place to study and prepare for entrance exams because with a supportive environment it offers and they create facilities and resources to study and also the teacher in here here is very willing to help us.

✓ Well, from my perspective, I think my school is a great place to study and prepare for entrance exams because it offers a supportive environment, creates facilities and resources to study, and the teachers here are very willing to help us.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'your perspective' instead of 'my perspective' and has pronoun confusion with 'they' and 'the teacher in here here'. Correcting pronouns clarifies meaning.

× the teacher in here here is very willing to help us.

✓ the teachers here are very willing to help us.

'Teacher' is singular but context implies plural; 'teachers' plural with 'are' agrees in number.

× Well, I'm definitely love the place that we work because in here with a supportive environment, the teacher are willing to support us.

✓ Well, I definitely love the place where I study because here, with a supportive environment, the teachers are willing to support us.

'I'm definitely love' is incorrect; 'I definitely love' is correct. Also, 'we work' should be 'I study' to match context. 'Teacher' should be plural 'teachers'.

× the teacher are willing to support us.

✓ the teachers are willing to support us.

'Teacher' is singular but paired with plural verb 'are'; changing to plural 'teachers' matches the verb.

× In addition there with it also offers adequate facilities and resources to study and prepare for entering exams.

✓ In addition, it also offers adequate facilities and resources to study and prepare for entrance exams.

The phrase 'there with it' is incorrect and confusing; replacing with 'it' clarifies the subject. Also, 'entering exams' should be 'entrance exams'.

× I am preparing for the entrance exams at the university that specialized in business field and I hope that in the future I can have more knowledge about the economy and the opportunities in this field.

✓ I am preparing for the entrance exams at the university that specializes in the business field, and I hope that in the future I can have more knowledge about the economy and the opportunities in this field.

'Specialized' should be present tense 'specializes' to agree with current university description. Also, 'business field' needs the definite article 'the'.