Work— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct article use and verb forms, and avoid run-on sentences. Add one brief supporting detail if needed. For example, use a contraction or short pause and correct phrase order.

Example: I'm a student. I recently completed my HSC and am now pursuing a bachelor's degree in economics, which I started this year.

Suggestion: Good direct response. Improve naturalness by using shorter, smoother phrasing and a linking word to add a brief reason. Avoid repeating 'I' too often.

Example: I don't work at the moment because I'm a full‑time student, so I'm concentrating on my studies.

Suggestion: Reduce hesitation and repetition; correct grammar (subject-verb agreement) and use varied vocabulary. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two concise, specific reasons linked with 'because' or 'also'. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

Example: Yes, it's a very good place to work because my colleagues are friendly and supportive, and my boss treats us respectfully. These positive relationships make the working atmosphere comfortable and motivating.

Suggestion: Be more natural and grammatically correct. Use conditional or time phrases clearly and avoid filler words. Explain briefly why you'd stay and mention the condition for leaving.

Example: Yes, I enjoy working here and would like to stay while I gain experience. However, I might move on if I find a position with better pay and career prospects.

Suggestion: Clarify sentence structure and remove redundancy. Use linking words to show intention and be specific about roles or industries. Correct small grammar issues and article use.

Example: I'm studying for a bachelor's in economics, so I intend to work in the banking sector or in management roles at a private company, preferably in finance or operations.

× I'm a student, I have recently completed my HSC exam and now I'm pursuing bachelors degree.

✓ I'm a student. I have recently completed my HSC exam and now I'm pursuing a bachelor's degree.

Run-on sentence and missing article: Separate into two sentences for clarity and add the indefinite article 'a' and the possessive apostrophe in 'bachelor's degree'. Use present continuous 'I'm pursuing' is correct for current action.

× I don't actually work as I'm a student so I am currently focusing on my studies.

✓ I don't actually work because I'm a student, so I am currently focusing on my studies.

Conjunction choice and comma needed: Use 'because' instead of 'as' to clearly express reason in spoken English and add a comma before 'so' to connect clauses correctly.

× Yes, uh, definitely it is, uh, my colleagues are really, uh, friendly and supportive.

✓ Yes, definitely it is. My colleagues are really friendly and supportive.

Run-on with fillers: Split into two sentences for clarity and remove unnecessary filler words. Present simple 'are' is correct for general facts.

× Also the behavior of my boss towards us are really warm and great.

✓ Also, my boss's behavior towards us is really warm and great.

Subject-verb agreement and possessive: The subject is 'behavior' (singular), so use 'is' not 'are'. Use the possessive form 'my boss's behavior' for natural English word order.

× So it's a great experience working in this place.

✓ So it's a great experience to work in this place.

Gerund vs infinitive: Both 'working' and 'to work' can be used, but 'to work in this place' fits better after 'experience' in this context. Either is acceptable; the infinitive clarifies purpose.

× Yes, I love the place, uh, I would love working here, uh, until I get a better job on better salary.

✓ Yes, I love the place. I would love to work here until I get a better job with a better salary.

Verb form and article/preposition: Use 'to work' after 'would love'. Add articles 'a' and preposition 'with' before 'a better salary' and split into sentences for clarity.

× As I am doing bachelors in economics so I intend to get a job in banks or in the management sectors of some company private company.

✓ As I am doing a bachelor's in Economics, I intend to get a job in a bank or in the management sector of a private company.

Articles and word order: Add 'a' and apostrophe in 'bachelor's', capitalize 'Economics' as a subject, use singular 'a bank' for a job in banking, use 'the management sector' or 'a management role' and correct word order 'private company'. Remove redundancy.