Work— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details. Avoid repeating similar points (e.g. 'rewarding' and 'fulfilling') and keep within five sentences. Use a linking phrase to connect reasons.

Example: I work as a certified caregiver, looking after elderly patients with dementia. I’ve been in this role for six years, and I enjoy it because it combines hands-on care with emotional support. For example, I assist patients with daily routines and build trust through regular one-on-one activities, which I find very rewarding.

Suggestion: Open with a direct topic sentence about the workplace, then give one or two specific, varied details about duties. Use linking words (for example, including) and avoid listing too many routine tasks in one sentence—choose the most relevant to illustrate your role.

Example: I work at a residential care facility specializing in dementia care. For example, I help residents with personal care such as bathing and feeding, and I also lead simple cognitive activities to keep them mentally stimulated.

Suggestion: State your opinion clearly, then support it with one or two specific reasons and an example. Avoid giving too many general positive points; pick the strongest details (e.g. supportive team and training opportunities) and link them with 'because' or 'for example'.

Example: Yes, it’s a very good place to work because the team is supportive and there are regular training opportunities. For example, we have monthly workshops on dementia care techniques, which help me improve my skills and confidence.

Suggestion: Give a concise direct answer then provide one specific reason and an example. Avoid repeating earlier points; focus on what makes you personally like it (e.g. friendly colleagues, short commute) and use a linking phrase such as 'because' or 'for instance'.

Example: Yes, I like working there because the colleagues are friendly and my commute is short. For instance, I can walk to work in 15 minutes, which makes my days less stressful and leaves time for study or rest.

Suggestion: Begin with a clear statement of your main plan, then give one concrete next step and a reason. Mention timelines or specific actions if possible (e.g. taking exams, applying for programs) to make the plan more believable and concrete.

Example: I plan to become a registered nurse in the United States and later complete a master’s in nursing. To achieve this, I will prepare for the NCLEX exam next year and apply to graduate programs in two to three years so I can eventually teach nursing students.

× I work as a certified caregiver and I enjoy my job because it allows me to take care of elderly dementia patients.

✓ I work as a certified caregiver and I enjoy my job because it allows me to take care of elderly dementia patients.

No change needed for article use; sentence is correct. (Included to follow instruction to only correct listed types.)

× I have been working in this field for six years and it has been a rewarding experience for me.

✓ I have worked in this field for six years, and it has been a rewarding experience for me.

The original 'have been working' (present perfect continuous) is acceptable, but using 'have worked' (present perfect) is more natural when stating total duration. Both are grammatically correct; suggestion improves clarity and conciseness. Use present perfect to emphasize completed duration up to now.

× I chose this career because it is the closest career to nursing and it has been a fulfilling journey so far.

✓ I chose this career because it is closest to nursing, and it has been a fulfilling journey so far.

Remove the unnecessary definite article 'the' before 'closest career' and simplify wording. Saying 'closest to nursing' is more natural and avoids repetition of 'career'.

× I work in an elderly facility for dementia patients.

✓ I work at an elder care facility for dementia patients.

Use 'at' for workplaces and 'elder care facility' is a more natural collocation than 'elderly facility'. 'For dementia patients' is acceptable, but 'for' can be retained.

× My job involves helping elderly patients in their daily needs such as feeding, going to the toilet and taking a bath, which keeps me busy and engaged.

✓ My job involves helping elderly patients with their daily needs, such as feeding, going to the toilet, and taking a bath, which keeps me busy and engaged.

Use 'with their daily needs' instead of 'in their daily needs'; add commas after items in the list (serial comma optional but improves clarity). This corrects preposition and punctuation issues.

× The work environment is very supportive and collaborative, which makes it easy to get things done.

✓ The work environment is very supportive and collaborative, which makes it easy to get things done.

Sentence is correct; subject 'environment' matches verb 'makes'. No change required.

× There are ample opportunities for professional growth and development, and the company offers good benefits and work life balance.

✓ There are ample opportunities for professional growth and development, and the company offers good benefits and work-life balance.

Add hyphen in 'work-life balance' to form the compound noun. Otherwise sentence is correct.

× Additionally, the modern facilities and technology makes work much easier.

✓ Additionally, the modern facilities and technology make work much easier.

The compound subject 'facilities and technology' is plural, so use plural verb 'make' instead of 'makes'. Ensure subject-verb agreement.

× Additionally, the facility, although located in the province, it is near where I live, making my commute quite easy.

✓ Additionally, the facility, although located in the province, is near where I live, making my commute quite easy.

Remove the redundant pronoun 'it' after the parenthetical clause. The sentence already has 'the facility' as subject; adding 'it' creates a faulty sentence structure.

× I plan to continue my career as a nurse in the United States because I am passionate about helping others.

✓ I plan to continue my career as a nurse in the United States because I am passionate about helping others.

Sentence is correct; article use is appropriate ('a nurse'). No change required.

× Additionally, if given the opportunity, I would like to pursue a masters degree in nursing so that I can teach and share my knowledge with future healthcare professionals.

✓ Additionally, if given the opportunity, I would like to pursue a master's degree in nursing so that I can teach and share my knowledge with future healthcare professionals.

Use the possessive form 'master's degree' (with apostrophe) as the correct noun form. This is not a modal issue; the modal 'would like' is correct. Use the apostrophe to fix the noun form.