Work— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be concise, accurate, and natural. Start with a direct topic sentence (e.g., "I’m currently not working; I recently graduated with a BCA."), avoid incorrect phrases like "unemployment opportunity" (use "job" or "employment opportunity"), and limit to 2–3 sentences. Add one clear supporting detail about the past role using linking words (e.g., "During my sixth semester, I worked as a junior Laravel developer where I designed modules").

Example: I’m currently not working; I recently graduated with a BCA degree and am looking for a job. During my sixth semester, I worked as a junior Laravel developer at NOOBS Technology, where I helped design application modules.

Suggestion: Answer directly and avoid repetition. Begin with a clear statement that you don't work now, then give concise specifics about your previous workplace. Use linking words to connect sentences (e.g., "However," "Previously"). Be careful with articles: say "a company" not "an company."

Example: I don’t work at the moment. Previously, I worked at NOOBS Technology, a travel-based software company located in Kathmandu.

Suggestion: Give a direct judgement first, then support with specific reasons using linking words. Avoid vague phrases like "felt as connection." Use concise, natural language and limit to three sentences. Mention one concrete example if possible (e.g., flexible hours or remote work).

Example: Yes, it was a great place to work. The pay was fair and colleagues were very friendly, so I felt comfortable collaborating with them. Also, the company offered flexible hours and the option to work from home, which I appreciated.

Suggestion: Start with a clear direct answer (e.g., "Yes, I would like it if certain conditions are met"). Use linking words ("if", "because") and avoid filler sounds like "uh." Be specific about the conditions and give one brief example of what matters most (e.g., supportive management or growth opportunities). Keep to 2–3 sentences.

Example: Yes, I would like my workplace if certain conditions are met. If the environment is friendly, the pay is fair, and there are clear opportunities for career growth, I’d be happy to stay and contribute.

Suggestion: Answer directly with a clear plan and concrete steps. Avoid repetition and filler words. Use linking words to show sequence (e.g., "first", "then"). Specify the role or area you want (e.g., "web development" or "backend development using Laravel") and a realistic first step such as internships or certifications.

Example: I plan to build a career in the tech industry, specifically in web development. First, I’ll secure an internship focused on coding—ideally working with Laravel—and then I’ll pursue full-time developer roles while improving my skills through online courses and projects.

× I'm a recent graduate with a BCA degree so I don't currently work, but I'm actively looking for unemployment opportunity.

✓ I'm a recent graduate with a BCA degree so I don't currently work, but I'm actively looking for employment opportunities.

The original uses 'unemployment opportunity' which is incorrect: 'unemployment' is a state, not a countable opportunity. Use the noun 'employment' and plural 'opportunities' or the uncountable 'employment opportunity' if singular. Also 'actively looking for employment opportunities' is the common collocation.

× However, during my 6th semester I did work as a junior level Laravel developer in company called NOOBS Technology where my role was to design modules.

✓ However, during my 6th semester I worked as a junior-level Laravel developer at a company called NOOBS Technology, where my role was to design modules.

Problems: unnecessary auxiliary 'did' in affirmative past simple; 'junior level' should be hyphenated as 'junior-level' when used as a compound adjective; use preposition 'at' with 'company'; include article 'a' before 'company'; add comma before 'where' for clarity. These changes fix verb form, compound adjective, preposition and article usage.

× Like I said before, I don't have a job but I'm actively looking for one. But I used to work in an company called Noobs Technology as a software developer.

✓ Like I said before, I don't have a job but I'm actively looking for one. I used to work at a company called Noobs Technology as a software developer.

Use 'at' (not 'in') for specifying the place of employment. Also 'an company' is wrong article use; it should be 'a company' because 'company' begins with a consonant sound. Removed redundant 'But' at sentence start for smoother flow.

× It's a travel based company located in Kathmandu.

✓ It's a travel-based company located in Kathmandu.

When two words form a compound adjective before a noun, hyphenate them: 'travel-based company'. This clarifies modifier relationship and conforms to standard style.

× It was a great place, I loved it very much and I even missed it sometimes.

✓ It was a great place; I loved it very much and I even miss it sometimes.

The sentence mixes past ('was', 'loved') with 'missed sometimes' which can be present if the feeling continues. If the speaker still occasionally misses it, use present tense 'miss'. Also replace comma splice with semicolon or separate sentences to fix sentence structure.

× The pay was good, the colleagues were very friendly and felt as connection with them too and it was very flexible time where I could work from home too.

✓ The pay was good, the colleagues were very friendly and I felt a connection with them, and the working hours were flexible so I could work from home.

Multiple issues: comma splice linking independent clauses; 'felt as connection with them' is ungrammatical — correct is 'felt a connection with them'; 'very flexible time' is awkward — use 'working hours were flexible'; remove redundant 'too' and reorganize for clarity.

× Well, it all depends on the circumstances and the services or the management.

✓ Well, it all depends on the circumstances and the management or services.

This is mainly word order and collocation: 'management or services' reads more naturally. Tense is acceptable but reordering improves clarity. No major grammar category change beyond sentence structure.

× I feel like if the environment is friendly and the pay is good and you are treated right, uh, with opportunity of career growth, then I would of course like the place where you work.

✓ I feel that if the environment is friendly, the pay is good, you are treated well, and there are opportunities for career growth, then I would of course like the place where I work.

Problems fixed: use 'that' instead of 'like' for formal linking; parallel structure for list items; 'treated right' -> 'treated well'; 'opportunity of career growth' -> 'opportunities for career growth' (correct preposition and plural); pronoun should be 'I' (place where I work) to match speaker. Also remove filler 'uh' and improve overall sentence structure.

× Otherwise I wouldn't like it.

✓ Otherwise I wouldn't like it.

Sentence is grammatically correct; modal 'wouldn't' appropriately expresses conditional preference. No correction needed but included to show checked.

× That's an interesting question.

✓ That's an interesting question.

Sentence is correct and appropriately used as a response. No change required.

× I'd probably say I would like to work in a tech industry in the future.

✓ I'd probably say I would like to work in the tech industry in the future.

Use 'the tech industry' to refer to the sector generally; article choice improves naturalness. Tense/modal usage ('would') is acceptable as it indicates tentative future preference.

× I'm I'm a recent graduate in BCA degree so I probably get into that, find an internship on coding and pursue that career.

✓ I'm a recent BCA graduate, so I will probably get into that field, find a coding internship, and pursue that career.

Fixed repetition 'I'm I'm'; 'graduate in BCA degree' is incorrect — use 'BCA graduate' or 'graduate with a BCA degree'; 'probably get into that' is vague — 'will probably get into that field' clarifies future intention and uses appropriate future construction; 'find an internship on coding' -> 'find a coding internship'; parallel verb forms in list: 'get', 'find', 'pursue'.