Hometown— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and avoid hesitations and repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence naming the place, then add one or two specific details using linking words. Correct small grammatical issues (e.g., "it went viral" not "it has gone viral because of that same dance which is was produced").

Example: My hometown is K2H. It is famous for a traditional dance called the Chimwe dance, which went viral about five years ago after a popular video was shared online.

Suggestion: Good direct answer and supportive detail. Improve by using a linking phrase and adding a concrete example to make it more specific and natural. Avoid repeating phrases like "this is one thing I like".

Example: I particularly like the hospitality in my hometown. People often go the extra mile to help neighbors; for example, during harvest season families share food and help each other with heavy work.

Suggestion: Use the correct tense and a clearer structure: give the length of residence, then explain current situation. Avoid repeating words and fix tense errors (use present perfect for duration up to now, or simple past plus present statement).

Example: I lived there for about 20 years, but I moved away nine years ago. At the moment I don't plan to return because I have settled here for work and study.

Suggestion: Give a clearer opinion with reasons using linking words (e.g., 'because', 'for example') and avoid hesitation and repetition. Be specific about why it's unsuitable and, if possible, offer a brief comparison or consequence.

Example: I don't think it's a good place for young people because there are many bars and nightclubs nearby that can be distracting. For example, teenagers have fewer educational and recreational activities, so they may be tempted to spend time in the nightlife instead of studying.

× It's it's gone.

✓ It's gone.

The original has a repeated subject token 'it's' causing redundancy. Use a single 'It's' followed by the past participle 'gone' to form the present perfect passive-like state. Remove the duplicate to make the sentence grammatical.

× It has gone viral because of that same dance which is was produced some five years ago.

✓ It has gone viral because of that same dance which was produced some five years ago.

The phrase contained both 'is' and 'was' ('is was'), creating an incorrect verb sequence. The correct relative clause uses the simple past 'was produced' to indicate the dance was produced five years ago. Remove the extra auxiliary 'is'.

× OK, I had lived there for about 20 years and it's been 9 years since I left my hometown and at the moment I don't plan to to go back.

✓ OK, I lived there for about 20 years, and it's been 9 years since I left my hometown, and at the moment I don't plan to go back.

The original used 'had lived' (past perfect) unnecessarily; simple past 'lived' is appropriate because the time frame is stated. Also there is a duplicated 'to' ('to to'). Use simple past for completed past duration, remove the extra 'to', and add commas for clarity.

× People are willing to help one another and also they are willing to go extra mile when someone is in need.

✓ People are willing to help one another and also they are willing to go the extra mile when someone is in need.

The idiomatic expression is 'go the extra mile' and requires the definite article 'the' before 'extra mile.' Add 'the' to make the phrase correct.

× Uh, that place is just good for old people, not teenagers who are growing and learning And they get, they get too excited because that place is surrounded by bars and nightclubs.

✓ Uh, that place is just good for older people, not teenagers who are growing and learning. They get too excited because the place is surrounded by bars and nightclubs.

Use 'older people' instead of 'old people' for a more natural adjective choice. Also split run-on sentence into two sentences and remove repeated 'they get' to avoid redundancy. 'The place' is preferable to 'that place' in the second clause for cohesion.