Jewelry— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and reduce hesitations; correct grammar (everyday → every day; stood → stored); start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific reason and an example using linking words (because, so, for example). Keep to 2–3 sentences.

Example: I don't usually wear jewellery every day because I'm worried about losing it. For example, I store my pieces at home in Jakarta due to the higher crime rate, so I only wear them on special occasions when I know the setting is secure.

Suggestion: Fix grammar and word choice (hold → holds; metal → metals; peace → pieces). Use one clear topic sentence then two supporting reasons with linking words (because, moreover). Include a short example of a piece you own or like.

Example: I prefer gold jewellery because it looks elegant and holds its value. Moreover, it is more durable than many other metals, so my gold pieces last for years and can be a good long-term investment, such as a simple gold necklace I wear for formal events.

Suggestion: Avoid repetition and correct word choice (peace → piece/pieces). Begin with a direct statement, give one clear reason and one brief example using linking words (because, therefore, for instance).

Example: I don't usually buy jewellery because prices are quite high at the moment, so I avoid spending on it. Therefore I keep the few pieces I own at home and only wear them for special events, for instance at weddings or family celebrations.

Suggestion: Clarify and reorganize ideas, correct many word errors and awkward phrasing (few recent people… unclear; peace → pieces; keepsake; risk losing it → avoid risking losing other items). Start with a clear topic sentence and give two distinct, linked reasons using linking words (firstly, secondly) with specific examples to support each reason. Keep sentences short and grammatical.

Example: I think people keep jewellery for a long time mainly for sentimental reasons. Firstly, pieces passed down from family often serve as keepsakes, so people rarely remove them. Secondly, it can be a habit or convenience: for example, someone might always wear a wedding ring to avoid the risk of misplacing it.

× I don't usually wear jewellery everyday because I'm worried I might lose it or forget where I put it.

✓ I don't usually wear jewellery every day because I'm worried I might lose it or forget where I put it.

Error type IDs: 20 (Incorrect adverb placement) and 22 (Article/errors with compound words). 'everyday' is an adjective meaning 'ordinary', while 'every day' (two words) is the correct adverbial phrase meaning 'each day'. Use 'every day' when referring to frequency. Also placing 'usually' before 'wear' is fine; keep 'every day' after the verb phrase for natural word order.

× This is because I live in Jakarta where the crime rate can be relatively high, so I prefer to keep my jewellery stood, uh, safely at home.

✓ This is because I live in Jakarta, where the crime rate can be relatively high, so I prefer to keep my jewellery stored safely at home.

Error type IDs: 26 (Sentence structure errors) and 13 (Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs) / 8 (Verb + -ing form). 'stood' is the past form of 'stand' and is incorrect here; the intended verb is 'store' so the past participle/ adjective 'stored' is appropriate. Add a comma after 'Jakarta' for clarity. Remove filler 'uh' in written response.

× I only will be on a a special occasion where I know I'll be in secure place.

✓ I will only wear it on a special occasion when I know I'll be in a secure place.

Error type IDs: 7 (Future tense issue) and 26 (Sentence structure errors). Word order error: the auxiliary 'will' should come before the main verb 'wear' not before 'only'. Also fix duplicate 'a a', change 'where' to 'when' to refer to occasions, and add the article 'a' before 'secure place'. Use 'wear it' to refer back to jewellery.

× I like gold jewellery because it looks elegant and hold its value.

✓ I like gold jewellery because it looks elegant and holds its value.

Error type IDs: 11 (Incorrect use of prepositions) not directly but 27 (Subject-verb agreement errors). The verb must agree with the singular subject 'it' (gold jewellery), so 'hold' should be 'holds' (third person singular). Keep 'looks' and 'holds' parallel.

× It's more durable than many other metal so peace often lasts for many years and I see them as a good long term investment.

✓ It's more durable than many other metals, so pieces often last for many years and I see them as a good long-term investment.

Error type IDs: 14 (Incorrect use of quantifiers) and 27 (Subject-verb agreement). 'metal' should be plural 'metals' to match 'many other'. 'peace' is a misspelling of 'piece' and should be plural 'pieces' to agree with 'them' or change 'them' to 'it'. Also add a comma before 'so', hyphenate 'long-term' as a compound adjective.

× I don't usually buy jewelry because the prices are quite high at the moment so I prefer not to spend on it.

✓ I don't usually buy jewellery because the prices are quite high at the moment, so I prefer not to spend money on it.

Error type ID: 22 (Article errors) and 26 (Sentence structure). The verb phrase 'spend on it' is incomplete; say 'spend money on it'. Add a comma before 'so' for clarity. Also use consistent British spelling 'jewellery' if matching earlier.

× I keep any peace I own safely at home and only wear them for special occasions such as a wedding or family celebrations.

✓ I keep any piece I own safely at home and only wear it for special occasions such as weddings or family celebrations.

Error type IDs: 12 (Incorrect use of pronouns) and 1 (Singular and plural issue). 'peace' should be 'piece'. 'any piece' is singular, so the pronoun must be 'it', not 'them'. Also make 'wedding' plural 'weddings' to match 'special occasions' or keep singular and adjust wording.

× I think there are few recent people whichever way for a long time at first many peace our family held them of keepsake with a strong and sentimental value, so people feel emotionally attached and rarely take them off.

✓ I think there are a few reasons people keep a piece of jewellery for a long time. First, many pieces are family keepsakes with strong sentimental value, so people feel emotionally attached and rarely take them off.

Error type IDs: 26 (Sentence structure errors) and 1 (Singular and plural issue). The original sentence is ungrammatical and contains many wrong words: 'recent' -> 'reasons', 'whichever way' -> remove, 'peace' -> 'pieces'/'piece', 'our family held them of keepsake' -> 'are family keepsakes'. Split into two clearer sentences, use 'a few reasons' and 'First,' to list items. Keep subject-verb agreement.

× Secondly, it can simply be a matter of habit on convenient, as some people prefer to keep a ring or necklace on all the time because they want to risk losing it.

✓ Secondly, it can simply be a matter of habit or convenience, as some people prefer to keep a ring or necklace on all the time because they want to avoid the risk of losing it.

Error type IDs: 16 (Incorrect conjunction use) and 13 (Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs). 'on convenient' is incorrect; use 'or convenience'. The phrase 'because they want to risk losing it' is wrong in meaning: people keep jewellery on to avoid the risk of losing it, so use 'avoid the risk of losing it'.