Shoes— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Try to make your answer more concise and clear by avoiding repetition and organizing your ideas logically. Use linking words to connect your points and keep your answer within 5 sentences.

Example: Yes, I like buying shoes, especially at the start of the school term when I need new ones. Buying new shoes makes me feel refreshed and happy because it motivates me to improve myself. It also gives me a chance to explore new styles and learn about different designs.

Suggestion: Improve clarity by structuring your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Use linking words like 'because' and 'so' properly, and avoid redundancy. Try to be more specific about your experience.

Example: Yes, I have bought shoes online, but it was a bad experience because I couldn't be sure about the size. Also, I couldn't see or try the shoes before buying, so sometimes they didn't fit well or were uncomfortable. Therefore, I prefer buying shoes in stores where I can try them first.

Suggestion: Your answer is incomplete and lacks clarity. Try to complete your sentences and organize your ideas logically. Use linking words to explain why you spend money on shoes and be specific about the amount or range if possible.

Example: I usually spend a good amount of money on shoes because I am picky about comfort. Wearing comfortable shoes is important to me as it affects my whole day. For example, I often spend around $50 to $100 on a pair of shoes that fit well and feel comfortable.

Suggestion: Try to avoid repetition and incomplete sentences. Structure your answer with a clear opinion and supporting reasons using linking words. Be specific about why comfort is more important than fashion for you.

Example: I prefer comfortable shoes rather than fashionable ones because comfort helps me stay active throughout the day. Even if the shoes are not trendy or expensive, feeling comfortable makes me happy and confident. Therefore, I choose comfort over style.

× Yes, I like buying shoes and especially up during the first term where I had to start school, I had to buy something new.

✓ Yes, I like buying shoes, especially during the first term when I had to start school and buy something new.

The original sentence is a run-on and unclear. It needs proper conjunctions and punctuation to separate ideas clearly. Use 'especially during the first term when I had to start school and buy something new' to clarify the meaning.

× And buying things new things also makes me feel really refreshed and really happy because I get to have new things.

✓ Buying new things also makes me feel really refreshed and happy because I get to have new things.

The phrase 'things new things' is redundant and awkward. Removing 'things' before 'new things' improves clarity and sentence flow.

× I get to learn new things and also explore new things.

✓ I get to learn and explore new things.

Repeating 'new things' twice is redundant. Combining the verbs with one object makes the sentence more concise and natural.

× That makes me feel that I have to improve myself.

✓ That makes me feel that I need to improve myself.

Using 'have to' is grammatically correct but 'need to' sounds more natural in this context expressing personal motivation.

× I do actually and it was 1 bad experience for me because buying shoes online, you can't define the size, you cannot actually see it for yourself.

✓ I do actually, and it was a bad experience for me because when buying shoes online, you can't determine the size and cannot actually see them for yourself.

Use 'a' before 'bad experience' as it is a singular countable noun. Also, 'define the size' is incorrect; 'determine the size' is appropriate. 'Shoes' is plural, so 'them' is used instead of 'it'.

× So shoes are one bad thing that you have you that you don't have to buy online because you don't know the size and plus you don't know if it's even actually wearable or not.

✓ So shoes are one thing you shouldn't buy online because you don't know the size, and you also don't know if they are actually wearable or not.

The original sentence is confusing and repetitive. Simplifying and correcting pronouns ('they' for shoes) improves clarity. 'You shouldn't buy' is clearer than 'you don't have to buy' in this context.

× You see it on the page, it's very beautiful.

✓ You see them on the page; they look very beautiful.

'Shoes' is plural, so use 'them' and 'they' instead of 'it' and 'it's'.

× When it comes to shoes, I am very picky because when I wear shoes that are uncomfortable, I also feel uncomfortable so spending money on shoes is one thing for me that I must have because wearing comfortable shoes can make me have a perfect day and I've spent a lot of money on shoes because to have a really.

✓ When it comes to shoes, I am very picky because wearing uncomfortable shoes makes me feel uncomfortable. So, spending money on shoes is something I must do because wearing comfortable shoes can make my day perfect. I have spent a lot of money on shoes for this reason.

The original sentence is a run-on and incomplete. Breaking it into clear sentences and completing the last thought improves readability and correctness.

× So for my opinion, I would prefer comfortable shoes over fashionable shoes because comfortable shoes they are very comfortable to wear and they also make you your day.

✓ In my opinion, I would prefer comfortable shoes over fashionable ones because comfortable shoes are very comfortable to wear and they also make your day better.

'For my opinion' is incorrect; use 'In my opinion'. Avoid repeating 'comfortable shoes' unnecessarily. 'Make you your day' is incorrect; 'make your day better' is appropriate.

× And even though it is not a design shoes or it is not an expensive shoes that you see on display, you actually feel comfortable and happy to wear it so you don't have to worry about breaking your.

✓ And even though they are not designer shoes or expensive shoes that you see on display, you actually feel comfortable and happy to wear them, so you don't have to worry about breaking them.

'Design shoes' should be 'designer shoes'. 'Shoes' is plural, so use 'they' and 'them' instead of 'it'. The sentence was incomplete; adding 'them' clarifies the meaning.