Shoes— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be direct with a clear topic sentence, reduce hesitations and unclear phrases, and use concise supporting details. Mention frequency clearly and a reason using linking words (e.g., "because", "so"). Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

Example: I don't buy shoes very often — probably once a year because they can be expensive. I usually wait until I really need a new pair or when an old one wears out, so I can avoid unnecessary spending.

Suggestion: Give a clear statement about whether you have bought online, then add one or two specific supporting details (when, what type, why). Avoid fragmented or confusing phrasing and unnecessary hesitations.

Example: Yes, I bought shoes online once about two years ago. I ordered two pairs — a white pair and a black pair of running shoes — because they were on sale and I needed replacements.

Suggestion: Start with a clear average amount you spend, then contrast with higher-end options using linking words (e.g., "however", "for example"). Use correct grammar for numbers and currency and avoid unclear wording.

Example: On average I spend around $150 on a good pair of running shoes. However, if I buy premium brands like On Cloud, I might spend up to $300.

Suggestion: Give a clear preference in the topic sentence, then support with specific examples and linking words (e.g., "because", "for example"). Reduce hesitations and avoid contradictory phrasing; be concise to stay within 3–4 sentences.

Example: I prefer a balance of style and comfort because I want shoes that look good but are wearable all day. For example, I choose comfortable sneakers for daily use, while for formal events I accept dress shoes that may be less comfortable but more elegant.

× Oh I don't really find shoes like that.

✓ Oh, I don't really like shoes like that.

The verb 'find' is the wrong choice here; the student intended to express preference. Use 'like' with the object 'shoes' to convey preference. Suggestion: say 'I don't really like...' for likes/dislikes.

× I've written shoes down and get me wrong, but umm, those expensive and cool looking shoes can put me into financial hardship so I don't buy shoes that often.

✓ Don't get me wrong, but those expensive and cool-looking shoes can put me into financial hardship, so I don't buy shoes that often.

The original contains incorrect phrases ('I've written shoes down', 'get me wrong') and punctuation. Use the fixed idiom 'Don't get me wrong' and hyphenate 'cool-looking'. Also add a comma before 'so' to join clauses. Suggestion: use clear idioms and proper clause linking.

× Probably umm, once a year.

✓ Probably once a year.

This fragment is acceptable colloquially but the filler 'umm' is unnecessary. Keep concise: 'Probably once a year.' No tense change needed.

× I did once thought was in fact and he said passing white sneaker and the other one is the black one.

✓ I did buy once online: one pair was white sneakers and the other was black.

The original mixes tenses and has unclear subjects. Replace 'did once thought' with 'did buy once' and clarify noun phrases. Suggestion: use clear subject-verb-object order and consistent tense.

× I think I brought them over two years ago.

✓ I think I bought them over two years ago.

The student used 'brought' (past of 'bring') incorrectly; the correct verb for purchasing is 'buy' with past form 'bought'. Suggestion: use 'bought' when referring to past purchases.

× I just called it off.

✓ I just canceled the order.

'Called it off' can be used but context implies canceling an online purchase; 'canceled the order' is clearer. Suggestion: choose verbs that match the action precisely.

× You know that running shoes as well.

✓ You know, running shoes as well.

Add a comma after 'You know' to indicate a discourse marker. The sentence is a fragment; in speech it's acceptable but punctuation clarifies the pause. Suggestion: use commas for discourse markers.

× Was running shoes all day caused about 150 bucks from memory.

✓ A pair of running shoes cost about $150, from memory.

Original lacks subject and uses wrong verb forms ('Was...caused'). Use correct subject 'A pair of running shoes' and past tense 'cost'. Include currency formatting. Suggestion: keep subject-verb agreement and simple past for reported past cost.

× You can go fancy and go for something like on cloud shoes which will put you back about 300 bucks.

✓ You can go fancy and go for something like On Cloud shoes, which will set you back about $300.

Incorrect preposition 'on cloud shoes'—this is a brand name 'On Cloud'. Use 'go for' and 'set you back' is idiomatic for cost. Add comma before 'which'. Suggestion: capitalize brand names and use correct prepositions/idioms.

× They are so expensive.

✓ They are so expensive.

This sentence is grammatically correct; it uses present tense to state a general fact. No change needed.

× I would like to have a good balance of both.

✓ I would like to have a good balance of both.

Sentence is correct; article use is appropriate. No change needed.

× But it also depends on what kind of shoes they are, right?

✓ But it also depends on what kind of shoes they are, right?

This sentence is acceptable; 'they' correctly refers to 'shoes'. No change needed.

× If it's like a dress shoe, like an authentic leather shoe, I wouldn't expect it to be comfortable to wear out anything.

✓ If it's a dress shoe, like a genuine leather shoe, I wouldn't expect it to be very comfortable for wearing out.

Use 'genuine' instead of 'authentic' (both possible, 'genuine' more common), and rephrase 'comfortable to wear out anything' to 'comfortable for wearing out' to clarify purpose. Also 'very' qualifies degree. Suggestion: place adjectives and purpose phrases clearly.

× But if you just like day-to-day sneakers, then it would better be comfortable.

✓ But if you just like day-to-day sneakers, then they should be comfortable.

Pronoun 'it' is singular while referring to plural 'sneakers'; use 'they'. Also 'would better be' is ungrammatical—use 'should be' or 'would be better if they were comfortable'. Suggestion: ensure pronoun number agreement and use modal 'should' for recommendations.