Shoes— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Make your answer more concise and organized. Start with a clear topic sentence stating whether you like buying shoes, then give one or two specific supporting details (frequency and reason). Reduce filler words and repetitions, and try to use linking words (for example, so, because) to connect ideas.

Example: Yes, I love buying shoes. I usually buy new shoes every few months because I find them comfortable and they suit my daily routine. For example, I prefer comfortable trainers for walking and a pair of formal shoes for work.

Suggestion: Give a direct statement about online purchases, then add a brief, specific example. Avoid repeating words and unclear phrases. Use linking words like because or so to explain why you like buying online.

Example: Yes, I often buy shoes online. For instance, on my last birthday I bought a pair of Lacoste trainers because the product photos and reviews looked convincing, and they arrived quickly and fit well.

Suggestion: Answer directly with a typical price range, then explain variation with a concrete example. Avoid hesitations and correct unclear numbers by saying them clearly (for example, $150–$200). Use linking words like usually and however to contrast typical and exceptional purchases.

Example: It depends on the brand and type, but I usually spend about $150 to $200 on a pair of shoes. However, I once spent around $300 on Lacoste trainers for my birthday because I wanted a higher-quality pair.

Suggestion: Give a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then support with specific reasons and one short example. Cut out fillers and repeated phrases. Use linking words such as because and for example to make your answer coherent.

Example: I prefer comfortable shoes because I walk a lot and need support for daily activities. For example, I usually wear cushioned trainers to college and work since they reduce fatigue and suit long walks.

× I love buying shoes for myself and uh, like I, I just keep purchasing shoes.

✓ I love buying shoes for myself, and I just keep purchasing them.

Original uses redundant 'I' filler and repeats 'shoes' unnecessarily. Replace the second 'shoes' with the pronoun 'them' to avoid repetition and make the sentence concise. Remove filler 'uh, like' for clarity.

× I don't know how I have some kind of some kind of thing in my mind.

✓ I don't know why I have this kind of thing in my mind.

The phrase 'how I have some kind of some kind of thing' is ungrammatical and repetitive. Use 'why' to ask about the reason and 'this kind of thing' as a single phrase to convey the idea.

× I just wanted to purchase like every brand of shoes because I feel most comfortable in shoes and even though my, I had so many shoes at my home so often, I, I always used to.

✓ I just want to buy shoes from every brand because I feel most comfortable in shoes, and even though I have so many at home, I always used to buy more.

Tense inconsistency and awkward phrasing: 'wanted' should be present 'want' to match ongoing preference; 'like' is filler; 'my, I had so many shoes at my home so often' is incorrect — use 'I have so many at home'. 'Always used to' needs an object ('buy more') to complete the idea. Reorder to make the sentence coherent.

× I saw an Lacoste tissues on, on on a website and from there I got like their shoes look so beautiful, beautiful and unique on the website, the picture I saw and and the time I, I yeah, I love to buy shoes online as well.

✓ On my last birthday, I saw Lacoste shoes on a website; they looked so beautiful and unique in the pictures, and I bought them. I also like to buy shoes online.

Multiple errors: 'an Lacoste tissues' is incorrect article and noun choice — use 'Lacoste shoes'. Remove repeated fillers 'on, on on' and 'like'. Use correct verb 'looked' for past event and provide clear ordering: saw pictures, they looked beautiful, then I bought them. Split into two sentences for clarity.

× So it basically depends upon the brand of shoes and the type of shoes which I buy, which I want to buy.

✓ It basically depends on the brand and type of shoes that I buy or want to buy.

Use 'depends on' rather than 'depends upon' for natural usage; remove redundant repetition 'type of shoes which I buy, which I want to buy' and replace with 'that I buy or want to buy' for clarity.

× So at at the the maximum I spend on my shoes was around the Lacoste shoes on my birthday.

✓ The maximum I spent on shoes was for the Lacoste pair I bought on my birthday.

Remove duplicate words 'at at the the'. Use past tense 'spent' for completed action. Replace 'around the Lacoste shoes' with 'for the Lacoste pair' to use a correct article and noun phrase.

× There was around like $300 and the shoes were so expensive.

✓ They cost around $300, so they were very expensive.

Use clear subject 'they' referring to the shoes and place 'around $300' after the verb. Avoid filler 'like' and use 'very expensive' for better register.

× Usually shoes comes around 1:50 or 200, but that was so expensive shoes.

✓ Usually shoes cost around $150 or $200, but that pair was very expensive.

Subject-verb agreement: 'shoes' (plural) requires 'cost' not 'comes'. Correct the comma/colon formatting of the price to '$150'. Replace 'that was so expensive shoes' with 'that pair was very expensive'.

× Uh, I prefer comfortable shoes because comfortable shoes are like, uh, for like basic and for daily wear.

✓ I prefer comfortable shoes because they are basic and suitable for daily wear.

Avoid repetition 'comfortable shoes' twice; use pronoun 'they' to refer back. Remove fillers 'like, uh' and replace 'for like basic' with 'basic' or 'suitable for daily wear' for correct adjective usage.

× So because I, I had to, I, I have some kind of craze for walking, so I love to walk.

✓ Because I love walking, I always prefer comfortable shoes.

The original is disfluent and uses incorrect tense 'had to' and repeated 'I'. Simplify to a clear causal clause: 'Because I love walking' and a main clause stating the consequence. 'Craze for walking' is informal; 'love walking' is more natural.

× So I, I want to buy comfortable shoes for myself all the time.

✓ I want to buy comfortable shoes for myself all the time.

Remove repeated filler 'I, I'. The verb form is fine but repetition should be avoided for clarity.

× And even though when I'm out for work or for college, I love to wear comfortable shoes.

✓ Even when I'm out for work or college, I love to wear comfortable shoes.

'Even though when' is redundant; use either 'even when' or 'even though' — here 'even when' is appropriate. 'For college' is acceptable but 'for' can be dropped for conciseness.