Hobby— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Shorten and organize your answer: start with a clear topic sentence naming your main hobby, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundancy and awkward phrases (e.g. "most favorite", "to the world"). Watch grammar (articles, word forms) and sentence boundaries to keep within 3–4 concise sentences.

Example: My main hobby is home decoration, although I also enjoy painting, dancing and reading. For example, I redecorated my living room last month, choosing a minimalist color scheme and DIY art pieces. I also run an Instagram page where I post before-and-after photos to get feedback and new ideas.

Suggestion: Begin with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific details. Correct grammar (use past tense consistently and full sentences) and avoid repetition ("nearby park" and "proximity" both mean the same). Use a linking word to connect feelings to reasons or examples.

Example: Yes — as a child I loved riding my bicycle. I cycled to the nearby park with friends every afternoon, and we often raced or explored the trails. Those outings gave me lasting memories and a real sense of freedom.

Suggestion: Give a clear topic sentence naming the long-held hobbies, then provide one concrete example with correct grammar and clearer chronology. Avoid vague phrases ("boost my interest") and unnecessary repetition. Use linking words to show sequence (e.g., "since", "when").

Example: Yes, I have practiced dance and painting since childhood. For instance, I regularly performed at inter-school competitions and community events, which helped me develop technique and stage confidence. Over the years I have also taken painting lessons to improve my composition and color skills.

Suggestion: Structure your answer with a clear topic sentence (yes/no), then briefly contrast your hobbies with family members' using specific examples. Fix grammar ("keen interested" → "keenly interested" or "interested"); simplify long clauses and avoid run-on sentences. Use linking words like "however" or "while" for contrast.

Example: No, my hobbies are different from my family's. While my father and sister are focused on accounting and my mother enjoys cooking, I prefer dancing and creating landscape paintings. This difference means we often share skills and support each other's interests rather than doing the same activities.

× Yes, I enjoy several hobbies such as painting, dancing, reading, but my most favorite is general decoration.

✓ Yes, I enjoy several hobbies such as painting, dancing and reading, but my favorite is general decoration.

The phrase 'most favorite' is redundant and ungrammatical; 'favorite' already indicates the top preference. Also use 'and' before the last item in a list for natural coordination. Suggestion: use 'my favorite' and include 'and' before the final list item.

× I also started my own Instagram page to promote my talent and explore it to the world to get the feedback to enhance and boost my skill and share my creativity with the wider audience.

✓ I also started my own Instagram page to promote my talent and share it with the world to get feedback, enhance my skills and reach a wider audience.

This sentence is wordy and has awkward structure and preposition use ('explore it to the world', 'get the feedback to enhance and boost my skill'). Correction improves verb choices and parallel structure: 'share it with the world', 'get feedback', 'enhance my skills' and 'reach a wider audience'.

× When I was a child, I was very fascinated by riding cycles.

✓ When I was a child, I was very fascinated by riding bicycles.

The plural 'cycles' is uncommon in this context; 'bicycles' or 'riding a bicycle' is natural. Also 'was very fascinated by' is grammatical but more natural is 'was fascinated by' or 'loved riding bicycles'. Suggest using 'bicycles' and consider simpler 'I loved riding bicycles.'

× I used to ride cycle with my friends every day in the nearby park that is just a proximity to my home.

✓ I used to ride a bicycle with my friends every day in the nearby park that is very close to my home.

'Ride cycle' is incorrect collocation; use 'ride a bicycle' or 'ride bicycles'. 'Proximity' is a noun and not used like this; 'very close to my home' is the correct phrase. This fixes singular/plural and word choice.

× I made a lot of memories with them and cherished the moments in my childhood.

✓ I made a lot of memories with them and cherished those moments in my childhood.

Sentence is mostly correct but needs 'those' to refer clearly to the moments. Improves cohesion and clarity.

× Gives me a lot of joy and satisfaction.

✓ They gave me a lot of joy and satisfaction.

Original lacks a subject and uses present verb form unrelated to earlier past-tense context. Use a subject ('They' referring to memories or rides) and past tense 'gave' to match surrounding past-tense narration.

× Dance and painting are the hobbies that I have since my childhood as I also boost my interest in these two areas.

✓ Dance and painting are hobbies I have had since my childhood, and I have also developed my interest in these areas.

'Have since my childhood' needs present perfect 'have had since' to show continuance. 'Boost my interest' is awkward; use 'developed my interest'. This corrects tense and verb choice.

× Earlier when I was a child used to perform at every Internet inter school competitions and various occasions on the stage performing various different dance art forms.

✓ When I was a child, I used to perform in every inter-school competition and on various occasions, performing different dance forms on stage.

Sentence missing subject before 'used to perform' and has word order problems ('Internet inter school' is incorrect; use 'inter-school competition'). Use 'in' competitions, remove redundant words ('various different'), and place 'on stage' naturally. Ensure past habitual 'used to' is tied to subject.

× Definitely not, because my father is a chartered accountant and he's a very keen interested in accounting and studying, followed by my elder sister.

✓ Definitely not, because my father is a chartered accountant and he's very interested in accounting and studying, as is my elder sister.

'A very keen interested' is ungrammatical; use 'very interested' or 'keen on'. 'Followed by my elder sister' is unclear; 'as is my elder sister' clarifies that she shares the interest. This corrects pronoun/reference and adjective use.

× But I have a intense interest in dancing and various art forms such as painting and making landscapes make me a little different from my family.

✓ But I have an intense interest in dancing and various art forms such as painting and creating landscapes, which makes me a little different from my family.

Use the article 'an' before a vowel sound ('an intense'). 'Making landscapes' is better as 'creating landscapes'. Also need a relative clause 'which makes me' to link the clause to the subject; previously sentence run-on and ungrammatical. This corrects article, verb choice and sentence structure.