Hobby— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: 문장이 많이 중복되고 문법 오류와 어색한 표현이 있습니다. 주제 문장으로 바로 시작하고 supporting detail을 한두 문장으로 명확히 연결하세요. 예를 들어 시제와 동사 형태(throw → draw/design)를 고치고, 불필요한 반복(“it will be my”)을 제거하세요. 연결어(for example, because)를 사용해 이유를 명확히 하세요. 발음이나 망설임 표시(uh)를 줄이면 더 자연스럽습니다.

Example: Yes, I do. I enjoy sketching fashion designs because I want to become a fashion designer. Sketching relaxes me and helps me organize my ideas, so I usually spend a few hours drawing each week.

Suggestion: 대답이 반복적이고 문법과 어휘 선택에서 오류가 많습니다. 과거 습관을 말할 때는 과거형을 사용하고, 핵심 정보를 한 문장으로 제시한 뒤 구체적 예시나 이유를 덧붙이세요. 문장을 간결하게 유지하고 불필요한 단어는 제거하세요.

Example: Yes. When I was a child, I enjoyed drawing clothes and fashion sketches. I started practicing at around seven because I dreamed of becoming a fashion designer, so I spent many afternoons drawing outfits.

Suggestion: 의도를 전달하려는 것은 분명하지만 문법 오류와 어색한 표현들이 있습니다(“pleasure pressure”, 어순). 하나의 주제로 명확히 답하고, 두 번째 활동(음악 듣기)을 언급할 경우 연결어로 이유를 설명하세요. 감정 표현은 자연스럽게 간결하게 만드세요.

Example: Yes, I have. Since childhood I have enjoyed drawing fashion sketches and listening to music. Drawing makes me feel happiest because it lets me express my ideas, and music helps me focus while I work.

Suggestion: 문장이 불완전하고 중복이 심합니다. 가족과의 차이를 말할 때는 간단한 주제 문장 뒤에 구체적 예를 덧붙이세요. 아버지의 취미를 말할 때는 간단한 현재형으로 표현하고, 대비를 보여주는 연결어(but, however)를 사용하세요.

Example: No, my hobbies are different from my family's. For example, I enjoy fashion sketching, but my father likes creating AI programs, so our interests are quite different.

× My hobby is throwing sketch designs because I'm, uh, my dream is fashion designer.

✓ My hobby is creating sketch designs because my dream is to be a fashion designer.

The original sentence has awkward conjunction and clause connections. 'Because I'm, uh, my dream is fashion designer' combines two clauses incorrectly. Use a clear causal clause and an infinitive for profession: 'because my dream is to be a fashion designer.' Also 'throwing sketch designs' is unnatural; use 'creating sketch designs.' Improve fluency by using proper clause structure.

× So I always throwing design sketch.

✓ So I am always sketching designs.

The verb phrase 'always throwing' incorrectly combines auxiliary and gerund; 'throwing' is not appropriate for making sketches. Use present continuous for habitual actions with 'always' + present continuous: 'I am always sketching designs.' Alternatively, 'I always sketch designs' (simple present) is possible.

× It will be my, it will be my mindset is really relaxing and comfortable for me.

✓ It makes me feel really relaxed and comfortable.

The original mixes future 'will be' with a present-state clause and redundant phrases. Use a simple present effect: 'It makes me feel really relaxed and comfortable.' This corrects tense and sentence structure.

× Yeah, I also, I absolutely have hobbies, child.

✓ Yes, I definitely had hobbies as a child.

The response is about past time 'when you were a child', so use past tense 'had' and correct word order 'as a child.' 'Also, I absolutely have hobbies, child' is ungrammatical and misuses tense.

× My hobby is always drawing sketch.

✓ My hobby was always drawing sketches.

Discussing childhood hobbies requires past tense: 'was always drawing.' Also pluralize 'sketches.' Use gerund 'drawing' as a noun after 'was.'

× Because when I was seven years old, I always dreaming this fashion diner, this hope these dreams.

✓ When I was seven years old, I always dreamed about fashion design; I had this hope and these dreams.

Use past simple 'dreamed' for repeated past action, not 'dreaming' alone. 'Fashion diner' is incorrect vocabulary; likely 'fashion design.' Clarify and use proper nouns and articles: 'dreamed about fashion design' and 'I had this hope and these dreams.'

× So my hobby is drawing, sketch, fashion design.

✓ So my hobby was drawing sketches and fashion design.

Maintain past tense for childhood hobbies: 'was drawing sketches and fashion design.' Use 'sketches' plural and combine related items with 'and.'

× Yeah, I my hobby is drawing, sketch and listening to music.

✓ Yes, my hobbies are drawing sketches and listening to music.

The original repeats 'I' and mixes singular/plural. Use plural 'hobbies are' to list multiple hobbies and pluralize 'sketches.' Also start with 'Yes' instead of 'Yeah, I.'

× It is become a really, really pleasure pressure for me and I when I draw outfits, I really, really happiest.

✓ It has become a real pleasure for me, and when I draw outfits, I am really very happy.

'Become' needs present perfect 'has become' for a change of state. 'Pleasure pressure' is wrong collocation; use 'pleasure.' 'I really, really happiest' is ungrammatical; use 'I am really very happy' or 'I feel happiest.' Correct adjective/adverb forms and verb 'am.'

× No, I no, we my family didn't have didn't same hobbies for me to me, but because and my father is my father is my father hobby is make AI program.

✓ No, we in my family did not have the same hobbies as me; my father's hobby is making AI programs, which is very different.

The original has multiple repetitions and agreement errors. Use past simple negative 'did not have' for past habit, 'the same hobbies as me' for comparison, and a gerund 'making AI programs' for someone's hobby. Remove repetitions and add a relative clause 'which is very different' for clarity.