Hobby— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Correct verb forms and remove repetition. Use linking words like “for example” or “and” to connect ideas.

Example: Yes. I enjoy hobbies in the entertainment field, especially dancing, singing and playing music. For example, I focus most on dancing because it has been part of my life and it helps me express my emotions.

Suggestion: Good content and chronology. Improve grammar (tense and agreement) and tighten sentences. Use a clear linking word to show progression (e.g., “initially”, “later”). Avoid plural/singular mistakes.

Example: Yes. When I was about six, I attended ballet classes. Initially I wasn’t sure I liked it, but after a few months I discovered I loved music and dancing, so ballet became my favourite hobby for several years.

Suggestion: Give a complete, grammatically correct response with one clear supporting reason and a concrete example. Remove repeated words and finish the final clause. Use linking words like “because” and “so” correctly.

Example: Yes. As I mentioned, dancing has been part of my life since childhood because it lets me express myself. For example, when I am stressed from work or study, I often dance to relax and reconnect with my creativity.

Suggestion: Answer directly and correct grammar and word choice. Use comparative or contrasting linking words like “however” or “on the other hand.” Be specific about how your hobbies differ and why that matters to you.

Example: No, not really. My parents and sister are interested in technology, while I work in the entertainment industry. For example, I prefer expressive activities such as singing, dancing and playing music, which makes my interests quite different from my family’s.

× Yes, I have actually I really interesting in entertainment field such as dancing, singing and playing music and the most I learn about is dancing because dancing is always been a part of part of my life and that way I can express myself.

✓ Yes, I do. Actually, I am really interested in the entertainment field, such as dancing, singing and playing music, and what I have learned most about is dancing because dancing has always been a part of my life and it allows me to express myself.

Errors: 'I have actually I really interesting' uses incorrect verb and adjective form; should be 'I am really interested'. 'the most I learn about' is awkward; use 'what I have learned most about'. 'dancing is always been' mixes present perfect with simple; use 'has always been'. 'part of part of' is repetition. Suggestion: Use correct adjective 'interested' with 'be' verb, use present perfect 'has always been' for an action/state continuing to present, remove duplicated words, and use clear relative clause structure.

× At first I wasn't sure if I really like it or not, but after a few months I realized that I really love music and dancing, so ballet becomes my favorite hobbies for several years.

✓ At first I wasn't sure if I really liked it or not, but after a few months I realized that I really loved music and dancing, so ballet became my favorite hobby for several years.

Errors: tense inconsistency and subject-verb agreement. 'wasn't sure if I really like' should use past 'liked' after 'wasn't sure'. 'realized that I really love' should be past 'loved' to match narration. 'ballet becomes' should be past 'became'. 'favorite hobbies' is plural when subject is singular; use 'favorite hobby'. Suggestion: Keep past tense consistently when recounting past events and ensure singular/plural agreement.

× Like I said before, dancing is always been a part of my life. Whenever I do some activities or work or studying my my mind always come back to dancing because dancing it's where I can express myself and allows me to.

✓ Like I said before, dancing has always been a part of my life. Whenever I do activities, work, or study, my mind always comes back to dancing because dancing is where I can express myself and allows me to do so.

Errors: 'is always been' mixes present simple and perfect; use present perfect 'has always been'. 'do some activities or work or studying' has inconsistent verb forms; use parallel forms 'do activities, work, or study'. 'my my' duplicate. 'my mind always come' subject-verb agreement: should be 'comes'. 'dancing it's where' use full clause 'dancing is where'. Sentence ended with 'allows me to.' incomplete; finish 'allows me to do so.' Suggestion: Use correct present perfect for ongoing states, keep parallel verb forms, fix subject-verb agreement, remove duplicates and complete the verb phrase.

× No, not really. My parents and my sister are very interesting in technology field. Meanwhile I work in the entertainment industry. I prefer activities where I can express myself such as singing, dancing and playing music, which is makes me feel like really different.

✓ No, not really. My parents and my sister are very interested in the technology field. Meanwhile, I work in the entertainment industry. I prefer activities where I can express myself, such as singing, dancing and playing music, which makes me feel very different.

Errors: 'are very interesting in' uses incorrect adjective; should be 'interested in'. Missing article 'the technology field'. 'which is makes me feel like really different' has extra 'is' and incorrect adverb/adjective use: 'makes me feel very different' is correct. Suggestion: Use 'interested in' for people, include necessary articles, remove extraneous words, and use appropriate adverb ('very') before adjective ('different').