Walking— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and grammatical: start with a clear topic sentence stating current habit, then give one or two specific reasons. Avoid filler sounds and tense errors. Use linking words (e.g., however, because, so) and keep to 2–4 sentences.

Example: I don't walk as much as I used to, but recently I've started going for regular walks because my cousin invites me to join her. As a result, I feel healthier and have more energy for daily tasks.

Suggestion: Give a clearer topic sentence about childhood walks, reduce hesitations, and provide one specific detail about where or why you walked. Use past tense consistently and a linking word to connect ideas.

Example: Yes, I often walked a lot as a child because my family owned a farm. After we closed our small store each day, I would help my father check the crops and learn about the production process.

Suggestion: State the main reason clearly, then add one specific supporting point. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases (e.g., 'in your brand'). Use linking words like 'because' or 'and' and keep sentences short.

Example: People like walking in parks because it helps them relax and reduce stress. For example, fresh air and greenery can clear your mind and improve your mood.

Suggestion: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence identifying the place or event, then give a concise reason. Avoid unclear names or vague statements and remove filler words. Use conditional structure correctly.

Example: If I had the chance, I would take part in a marathon held in my province because I enjoy long-distance running and it would be a great challenge. Participating would also motivate me to train harder and improve my fitness.

Suggestion: Begin with a clear past-tense topic sentence stating the place, then give one or two specific details about who you went with and why. Use linking words (e.g., because, so) and avoid fillers. Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

Example: Recently I went for a walk at the Olympic Stadium because it has a large track and open space. I went with my cousins, and we often see many people exercising there, especially on weekends, as they focus on a healthy lifestyle.

× If you ask me this question in the past, I would say, uh, I didn't walk a lot in the past, but right now I'm start to develop my hobby in, uh, walking, uh, because my cousin always call me out for walking or running.

✓ If you had asked me that question in the past, I would have said I didn't walk a lot, but right now I'm starting to develop a hobby of walking because my cousin always calls me out to walk or run.

Multiple tense and verb-form errors: 'If you ask me this question in the past' mixes present and past; use a past conditional: 'If you had asked me that question in the past'. 'I would say' should be 'I would have said' for a past conditional. 'I'm start' should be 'I'm starting' (present continuous requires present participle). 'develop my hobby in walking' is incorrect collocation; use 'develop a hobby of walking'. 'my cousin always call' needs third person singular 'calls'. Suggestion: keep conditional clauses consistent and use correct participle forms and subject-verb agreement.

× It's have a lot of my, uh, in terms of my health.

✓ It has helped me a lot in terms of my health.

'It's have' is incorrect: 'it' with present singular verb should be 'it has' or 'it helps'. The sentence also lacks a clear verb and object. Using 'helped me a lot' or 'has helped me a lot' clarifies meaning. Suggestion: ensure subject and verb agree and include an object to complete the idea.

× Uh, yes, I definitely, uh, went to umm, my family farm because my daddy, uh, he has a farm, uh, so I need to work with him after we, uh, closing our, uh, store because we need to see all the process and also the production that we've made.

✓ Yes, I definitely went to my family's farm because my father had a farm, so I needed to work with him after we closed our store because we needed to check the whole process and the products we had made.

Tense inconsistencies: 'he has a farm' should be past 'he had a farm' to match past context. 'I need to work' should be past 'I needed to work'. 'after we, uh, closing our store' needs past 'after we closed our store'. 'we need to see' should be 'we needed to check' and 'production that we've made' fits better as 'products we had made' for past perfect. Suggestion: choose past tense consistently for past events and use appropriate past/past perfect forms.

× I personally believe that walking in the park can help you in term of, uh, relaxing and also have you open your mind and clear everything that store a lot of thing that in your brand so you can relax and if you're, uh, fresh.

✓ I personally believe that walking in the park can help you relax, open your mind, and clear your thoughts so you can feel refreshed.

'in term of' should be 'in terms of' but better is 'help you relax'. 'have you open your mind' is incorrect structure; use 'help you open your mind'. 'clear everything that store a lot of thing that in your brand' is unclear and misuses prepositions; 'clear your thoughts' conveys intended meaning. 'if you're fresh' is unnatural; use 'feel refreshed'. Suggestion: use correct collocations ('help you relax', 'open your mind', 'clear your thoughts') and simpler phrasing.

× So I aiming to join Sporn competition, which is the marathon competition in Syria province. And if I had a chance, and I will if I available at that time, I will, I'm gonna join that competition because if I win that competition, I'm gonna get them.

✓ I am aiming to join the Sporn marathon in Syria province. If I have the chance and I am available at that time, I will join the competition because if I win, I will receive the prize.

Incorrect verb forms and future expressions: 'I aiming' needs 'I am aiming'. 'If I had a chance' mixes conditional forms; use 'If I have the chance' for a real future possibility. 'I will if I available' should be 'I will if I am available'. 'I'm gonna' is informal; use 'I will'. 'if I win that competition, I'm gonna get them' is vague and ungrammatical; clarify as 'I will receive the prize'. Suggestion: use consistent future forms ('will' or 'going to') and include auxiliary verbs for 'be' where needed.

× Recently I went to Olympic Stadium because they have a large space for us, like I and my cousins working together or running together there.

✓ Recently I went to the Olympic Stadium because it has a large space for us; my cousins and I work or run there together.

Tense and agreement: 'they have' refers incorrectly to the stadium; use 'it has'. 'like I and my cousins working together' uses wrong word order and verb form; use 'my cousins and I work or run there together'. Suggestion: keep subject order 'my cousins and I' and ensure verbs agree with singular/plural subjects.

× And it's, I can see like many people also walk, uh, at the weekend and also every day because they concentrate on the healthy lifestyle so.

✓ I can see that many people walk there on weekends and every day because they focus on a healthy lifestyle.

Unnecessary 'it's' and filler words removed. 'at the weekend' is acceptable British English but 'on weekends' is clearer. 'concentrate on the healthy lifestyle' should be 'focus on a healthy lifestyle'. Suggestion: remove fillers, use 'on weekends' or 'at weekends' consistently, and use 'focus on' for habits.