Building— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words (uh) and unclear phrases like "other schoolers and persons." Use precise vocabulary (e.g. "historic," "architectural").

Example: I only take photos of buildings that are special or historically important. For example, I photograph old churches and monuments because they have interesting architecture and meaningful stories. Otherwise, I usually don’t bother with ordinary modern buildings.

Suggestion: Give a clear, grammatical topic sentence naming a specific building or type of buildings, then add a reason and a brief detail. Avoid vague or incorrect phrases ("I bought many buildings in my mind"). Use linking words like "for example" or "because" to connect ideas and be specific about location.

Example: Yes. I would like to visit the historical timber buildings in northwestern Asia, especially the old mosques and caravanserais in that region, because they show unique craftsmanship and reflect centuries of cultural exchange.

× If the buildings are special or hold any special moment from the past, from the, uh, from the other schoolers and persons, yeah, I prefer to take photos of that kind of buildings, but the normal buildings, I don't think so.

✓ If a building is special or holds a special memory from the past for former classmates or other people, I prefer to take photos of that kind of building, but not of ordinary buildings.

Errors: incorrect plural/singular reference and awkward pronoun phrases. 'Buildings... hold any special moment from the past, from the... other schoolers and persons' is unclear and uses incorrect collective reference 'schoolers' and redundant 'persons'. Also 'that kind of buildings' should be 'that kind of building' (singular after 'kind of'). Suggestions: use 'a building' or 'that kind of building' to match singular usage, replace 'schoolers' with 'former classmates' or 'classmates', use 'people' instead of 'persons', and simplify the clause to 'holds a special memory from the past for former classmates or other people' to be natural and grammatically correct.

× Yeah, I bought many buildings in my mind. So if I travel to that countries, I would like to visit that buildings, for example, the buildings in the northwestern of our Asia.

✓ Yes, I have many buildings in mind. So if I travel to those countries, I would like to visit those buildings, for example, the buildings in the northwest of our region of Asia.

Errors: 'bought' is wrong verb (should be 'have' or 'kept') and 'many buildings in my mind' is non-idiomatic; 'that countries' and 'that buildings' use incorrect demonstrative for plural — should be 'those countries' and 'those buildings'. Also 'northwestern of our Asia' is ungrammatical; use 'in the northwest of Asia' or 'in the northwest of our region in Asia'. Suggestions: use 'have in mind' for mental list, use 'those' for plural demonstratives, and 'in the northwest of Asia' or 'in northwest Asia' for correct geographic phrasing.