Travelling— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more clear and natural: give a direct topic sentence, avoid unclear words and repetitions, and provide one or two concise supporting details. Use linking words correctly (e.g. 'first,' 'also') and correct small mistakes (e.g. 'glass' not 'class').

Example: Yes, I often look out of the window when I travel by bus or car. First, I enjoy watching passing buildings and people because they tell a story about the place. Also, I like to notice changes in the sky and weather, which makes the journey more interesting.

Suggestion: Answer directly, correct grammar, and give a concise reason and an example. Use linking words like 'because' and 'so' appropriately and avoid uncertain fillers like 'right?'.

Example: Sometimes I try to take photos from the car window, but I usually avoid it because the movement makes the pictures blurry. For example, last week I got several blurred shots because the car was going fast and sunlight reflected off the glass.

Suggestion: Start with a clear preference and then give specific reasons. Avoid unclear or irrelevant phrases and control tone (avoid informal exclamations). Use two to three concise supporting details and linking words like 'because' and 'for example.'

Example: I prefer the sea to the mountains because I grew up in Thailand and enjoy coastal weather and beaches. For example, I like swimming and relaxing by the shore, and the sea breeze feels more pleasant to me than the hot, humid mountain areas that often have many mosquitoes.

× Yes I do, even if I'm not a driver.

✓ Yes, I do, even though I'm not the driver.

Use 'even though' instead of 'even if' when stating a fact; add commas and the definite article 'the' before 'driver' for clarity and correctness.

× I mostly look at the class though and firstly and then secondly look at the scene because I think the scene complements the sky.

✓ I mostly look at the clouds, and first I look at the sky and then at the scenery because I think the scenery complements the sky.

Multiple issues: 'class' is a wrong word choice (should be 'clouds'); 'firstly and then secondly' is awkward — use 'first' and 'then'; 'scene' should be 'scenery' for natural collocation. Also add comma and restructure for clarity.

× Yes I do, and it's turned out to be a bad idea because the car is moving pretty fast, right?

✓ Yes, I do, and it turns out to be a bad idea because the car is moving pretty fast.

'It's turned out' mixes tenses; use present simple 'it turns out' to describe a general result. Remove conversational tag 'right?' for formal correctness. Add commas for punctuation.

× So you chances are you're going to end up with a pretty blurry photo with the sun and shining through the glasses.

✓ So chances are you'll end up with a pretty blurry photo because the sun is shining through the window glass.

Original has mixed and redundant subjects ('you chances are you're'); fix to 'chances are you'll' and clarify cause with 'because'. Use 'window glass' instead of 'glasses' when referring to car windows.

× It's hot, it's humid, sweaty, full of mosquitoes and things that trying to suck blood off you.

✓ It's hot, humid, and sweaty, with lots of mosquitoes and other things that try to suck your blood.

Missing verb form: use 'that try' (present simple) not 'that trying'; use preposition 'with' to link descriptions; 'suck blood off you' is informal and ungrammatical — use 'suck your blood'. Also parallelism: list adjectives with commas and 'and'.

× See, definitely because I grew up in Thailand, my male 10 is not coal like in Europe, mountain in Thailand, just like Cairns in Queensland.

✓ Definitely — because I grew up in Thailand, the mountains there are not cold like in Europe; mountains in Thailand, such as around Cairns in Queensland, are hot and humid.

Original sentence is unclear and contains wrong words ('male 10', 'coal'). Replace with 'mountains' and 'cold'. Also 'Cairns in Queensland' is in Australia, not Thailand; clarify by saying 'such as' only if making a comparison, or remove if factually incorrect. Correct pronoun/ determiner use ('the mountains there').