Travelling— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and clear. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details linked logically. Avoid filler phrases and unclear fragments (e.g. 'but that CS I'm in August'). Aim for correct tense and word choice (e.g. 'progress' rather than 'progressive' in this context).

Example: Yes. I often look out of the window when I travel because it helps me understand where I am and how far I have left to go. For example, when I travel from Lagos to Abuja I watch for road signs and landmarks; seeing a familiar sign tells me the journey is almost over.

Suggestion: Good content and coherence but remove repetition and tighten sentences. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give one concrete example using linking words (e.g. 'for example', 'then'). Use precise vocabulary (e.g. 'take photos' rather than 'capture' in every clause) and avoid unnecessary phrases like 'after all'.

Example: Yes. I often take photos of scenery because I enjoy nature and want to remember interesting sights. For example, if I see a colorful bird or a striking sunset while travelling, I take a picture and later look at it to remember the moment.

Suggestion: Be direct and avoid grammatical errors and unclear metaphors. Start with a clear topic sentence stating preference, then give two brief specific reasons linked with connectors (because, so). Remove confusing example and replace with a clear, relevant one. Use correct vocabulary (e.g. 'hydrophobic' is acceptable but 'afraid of large bodies of water' is clearer).

Example: I prefer the mountains because I am afraid of large bodies of water. Therefore I enjoy hiking and exploring trails rather than going to the sea; for example, I feel more comfortable camping on mountain slopes than taking a boat trip.

× Yes, I do that a lot and that helps me to familiarize with my environment, how far and how progressive the journey is and how it has been.

✓ Yes, I do that a lot and it helps me become familiar with my environment, how far the journey is and how it is progressing.

The sentence mixes tenses and uses incorrect verb forms: 'that helps me to familiarize with' should be 'it helps me become familiar with' (idiomatic collocation and correct verb form). 'How progressive the journey is and how it has been' is awkward and inconsistent; 'how the journey is' (present) and 'how it is progressing' (present continuous) are clearer and match the habitual context.

× For example, moving from Lagos to Abuja, if I know if I'm looking at the window and notice a sign, but that CS I'm in August, it's I know my journey is closing.

✓ For example, when I travel from Lagos to Abuja, if I look out the window and notice a sign, I know my journey is nearly over.

Original sentence has fragmented and confused structure, extra words ('if I know if', 'but that CS I'm in August, it's I know') and unclear meaning. I simplified to a clear conditional: 'if I look out the window and notice a sign, I know my journey is nearly over.' This fixes sentence structure errors and conveys intended idea.

× Yes I do. This is because I love to explore nature and in doing that I get to look at the beautiful things of life.

✓ Yes, I do. This is because I love exploring nature and, in doing so, I get to see the beautiful things in life.

Use of gerund 'exploring' is more idiomatic than 'to explore' after 'love.' 'In doing that' is awkward; 'in doing so' is a fixed phrase. 'Look at the beautiful things of life' is unnatural; use 'see the beautiful things in life.'

× After all, when even when I'm done with my journey, for example, if I see something flying on the way, I tend to capture it.

✓ After all, even when my journey is over, for example, if I see something flying along the way, I tend to photograph it.

Redundant 'when even when' removed. 'I'm done with my journey' better as 'my journey is over.' 'On the way' -> 'along the way' or 'on the way' but 'flying on the way' is awkward; 'flying along the way' is clearer. 'Capture it' is acceptable but 'photograph it' is more precise.

× Then later on I look at it and I smile and admire nature.

✓ Later, I look at the photos and smile and admire nature.

'Then later on I look at it' is vague: specify 'photos.' Streamline verbs: 'look at the photos and smile and admire nature' is natural and consistent in present simple describing habitual action.

× I prefer the mountains, I'm a little bit hydrophobic so most times I'm scared of water bodies, especially the large ones.

✓ I prefer the mountains; I'm a little hydrophobic, so most of the time I'm scared of large bodies of water.

Punctuation: use semicolon for compound sentence. 'A little bit hydrophobic' -> 'a little hydrophobic' is more natural. 'Most times' -> 'most of the time.' 'Water bodies' -> 'bodies of water' is the correct noun phrase order.

× So I prefer to look at the mountains for adventures than the sea.

✓ So I prefer mountain adventures to the sea.

Incorrect comparative structure 'prefer to look at the mountains for adventures than the sea.' Use 'prefer X to Y' or 'prefer mountain adventures to the sea.' This fixes sentence structure and comparison.

× For example a deer not enter a boat 'cause I will get so far.

✓ For example, a deer would not enter a boat because I would get too far.

Original sentence is ungrammatical and unclear. Likely intended meaning is hypothetical; use conditional 'would not' and 'would get too far.' Also 'not enter' needs auxiliary. 'so far' -> 'too far.' Added commas and changed ''cause' to 'because.'