Travelling— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and correct small grammar issues. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers like “you know,” and reduce repetition. Use one or two specific supporting details (what kinds of scenery you like) and a linking word to make it coherent.

Example: Yes, I do. Living in Canada, I love looking out because the country has diverse scenery; for example, I enjoy watching dense forests and snowy mountains. When I travel by car or bus, I often spend the journey admiring the changing landscape.

Suggestion: Give a direct topic sentence and one specific reason with a linking word. Reduce repetition and fix grammar (subject-verb agreement). Avoid fillers such as “you know.”

Example: No, I usually don’t. I prefer to stay in the moment, so when I see something beautiful I enjoy it rather than photographing it; as a result, I remember the experience more vividly.

Suggestion: Give a clear, concise preference sentence, then one or two specific reasons using linking words. Remove fillers and correct tense and word choice. Mention a brief example to support your fear without repeating phrases.

Example: I prefer the mountains because I’m afraid of the sea. For example, when I visited an island I had to travel by ship, and the rough crossing made me nervous, so now I avoid the ocean and choose mountain destinations instead.

× I think this is the most thing to do whenever you are traveling and you know, while living in a country like Canada, there are so many landscapes and beautiful sceneries.

✓ I think this is the most important thing to do whenever you are traveling, and you know, while living in a country like Canada, there are so many landscapes and beautiful scenes.

The phrase 'the most thing' is ungrammatical; an adjective is needed before 'thing.' 'Most important' correctly modifies 'thing.' Also, 'sceneries' is rarely used in English; 'scenery' is an uncountable noun or 'scenes' can be used. Suggestion: use 'the most important thing' and 'beautiful scenery' or 'beautiful scenes.'

× So I just love to watch outside whenever I whenever I travel by car or a bus.

✓ So I just love to look outside whenever I travel by car or by bus.

Use of 'watch outside' is incorrect; 'look outside' or 'look out the window' is appropriate. 'A bus' with 'by' is awkward; 'by car' or 'by bus' are parallel expressions without 'a.' Remove the duplicated 'whenever I.' Suggestion: 'look outside whenever I travel by car or by bus.'

× Honestly not as I am a person who love to live in the in the present and so I never take photos.

✓ Honestly not, as I am a person who loves to live in the present, so I never take photos.

Subject-verb agreement: 'who love' should be 'who loves' because the subject 'a person' is singular. Also remove the duplicated 'in the' and add commas for clarity. Suggestion: ensure verb agrees with singular subject and remove repeated words.

× I whenever I see something beautiful, I just want to enjoy that sight for that moment and I don't want to waste that moment by taking my phone out and you know, taking the photo.

✓ Whenever I see something beautiful, I just want to enjoy the sight in the moment, and I don't want to waste it by taking my phone out to take a photo.

Awkward word order and repetition ('that moment' twice). 'Enjoy the sight in the moment' or 'enjoy it in the moment' is clearer. Replace 'taking the photo' with 'to take a photo' for a natural infinitive purpose phrase. Suggestion: avoid repetition and use smoother phrasing.

× I prefer the mountains, as you know, I'm quite afraid of sea and water as I have visited, uh, an island once and you know, I, we just have to go by ship over there.

✓ I prefer the mountains. As you know, I'm quite afraid of the sea and water because I visited an island once and we had to go there by ship.

Missing definite article before 'sea' (should be 'the sea'). 'As I have visited' is awkward; simple past 'I visited' fits better with the completed past event. 'We just have to go by ship over there' should be past 'we had to go there by ship.' Suggestion: use 'the sea,' choose consistent past tense for past events, and split into clearer sentences.

× So, but The thing is, you know, I got really afraid of water there inside the sea.

✓ But the thing is, I became really afraid of the water in the sea there.

Capitalization 'The' is incorrect mid-sentence. 'I got really afraid' is informal; 'I became really afraid' or 'I became very afraid' is more natural. 'Inside the sea' is awkward; 'in the sea' or 'of the water in the sea' is better. Suggestion: fix capitalization, choose 'became' for clarity, and use natural prepositional phrase 'in the sea.'