Sharing— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Cải thiện: Tránh sự mơ hồ và lỗi từ vựng (ví dụ 'apathetic ear' sai nghĩa). Nên mở đầu trực tiếp với câu chủ đề, giảm tiếng lặp và tiếng dè dặt ('umm', 'uh'). Thêm một hoặc hai chi tiết cụ thể và dùng liên từ để mạch lạc (ví dụ: 'For example, they asked me to bring extra pens so classmates could borrow them').

Example: Yes, my parents taught me to share when I was a child. For example, they often asked me to bring extra pens and notebooks so my classmates could borrow them when needed.

Suggestion: Cải thiện: Sắp xếp câu rõ ràng hơn và dùng từ đúng (ví dụ 'stationery' không phải 'stationaries'). Hạn chế lặp và từ đệm, dùng liên từ để phân tách hai ý (vật chất và cảm xúc). Cụ thể hóa bằng ví dụ ngắn gọn và 1–2 câu bổ trợ.

Example: I like to share small material items like stationery, such as pens and pencils. I also share personal updates, especially about work, so my friends can give advice or support.

Suggestion: Cải thiện: Câu trả lời đã rõ ràng và chính xác; chỉ cần chỉnh nhỏ để tự nhiên hơn (loại bỏ từ đệm, dùng thì chính xác: 'had had' nên 'had'). Có thể thêm một lý do ngắn nữa để tăng tính cụ thể.

Example: I think personal hygiene items, like toothbrushes and towels, should not be shared to avoid spreading germs. For example, on a recent family holiday, my mom ensured everyone brought their own towels for hygiene reasons.

Suggestion: Cải thiện: Trình bày ý rõ ràng hơn và sửa lỗi từ vựng/viết tắt ('UMM' nếu là tên nên giải thích). Giảm lặp và diễn đạt mục tiêu cụ thể (kế hoạch học tập nào, khi nào). Thêm liên từ để nối ý về kế hoạch và lý do.

Example: Yes, recently I have been planning to take several postgraduate courses at UMM to improve my qualifications. I hope to become a tutor at the university, so these courses will help me gain the necessary skills.

Suggestion: Cải thiện: Câu trả lời tốt nhưng nên bắt đầu trực tiếp và ngắn gọn. Loại bỏ tiếng đệm và có thể nêu một ví dụ cụ thể về cách họ hỗ trợ để làm rõ thông tin.

Example: I would share good news with my parents first because they have always supported my goal to become a tutor. For example, they often help me financially and encourage me during exam seasons.

Suggestion: Cải thiện: Tránh câu mơ hồ ('I cannot tell a lot about') và từ đệm. Nên nêu cụ thể loại tin công việc hoặc ví dụ về một cuộc trò chuyện để làm câu trả lời sinh động và cụ thể hơn.

Example: I usually share daily updates and work-related news with my friends, such as project successes or challenges. For instance, I often tell them when a project goes well so they can celebrate with me or give advice when I face problems.

× Well, and definitely yes, they always, umm, teach me the value of, uh, lending an apathetic ear.

✓ Well, definitely yes, they always taught me the value of lending a sympathetic ear.

The student used 'teach' which should be past tense 'taught' because the question asks about childhood (past). Also 'lending an apathetic ear' is incorrect phrasing; the correct idiom is 'lending a sympathetic ear'. Use past tense for actions completed in the past and choose the correct adjective for the idiom. Suggestions: use past tense verbs for past events and check fixed expressions or idioms.

× For example, when I was a child, they always, uh, told me to bring some more pens in case my friends wanted to borrow them from me.

✓ For example, when I was a child, they always told me to bring extra pens in case my friends wanted to borrow them.

The original sentence mixed 'some more pens' and redundant 'from me'. Use 'extra pens' for clarity and omit 'from me' because 'borrow them' already implies from the speaker. Maintain past tense 'told' and 'wanted' to match the time frame. Suggestions: avoid redundancy and prefer concise word choices (e.g., 'extra pens').

× Well, talking about material things, I would like to share my stationaries, yeah, for example, my pens or pencils or some more, uh, talking about more sentimental, uh, things, I would like to share my daily updates, especially those from work with my friends.

✓ Well, regarding material things, I would like to share my stationery, for example my pens and pencils. When it comes to more sentimental things, I like to share my daily updates, especially work-related ones, with my friends.

'Stationaries' is incorrect; the uncountable noun is 'stationery'. 'Some more' is vague and unnecessary. 'Work related' should be hyphenated as 'work-related' when used as a compound adjective; here 'work-related ones' clarifies the noun. Structure the sentence into two clearer clauses. Suggestions: use correct uncountable nouns (stationery), split long sentences, and form compound adjectives correctly.

× Well, I believe personal hygiene items shouldn't be shared to avoid spreading germs or infections.

✓ Well, I believe personal hygiene items shouldn't be shared in order to avoid spreading germs or infections.

Using 'to avoid' is not wrong but 'in order to avoid' is clearer and more formal; however this may be optional. Main issue flagged is preposition use in other sentence parts; keep clarity by using 'in order to' or simply 'to'. Suggestions: prefer clearer connector phrases for purpose.

× For example, last month when my family, uh, went on a holiday, my mom made sure everyone had had their own things to avoid health risks.

✓ For example, last month when my family went on holiday, my mom made sure everyone had their own things to avoid health risks.

'Had had' is past perfect and unnecessary here; simple past 'had' or 'had their own things' suffices. Also 'went on a holiday' is more natural as 'went on holiday' (British English) or 'went on a vacation' (American English). Use simple past for a specific past event. Suggestions: use simple past for specific past occasions unless emphasizing an earlier action relative to another past event.

× Well yes, like recently I have got a lot of plans for higher UMM education.

✓ Well yes, recently I have had a lot of plans for higher UMM education.

'Have got' is informal and redundant with 'have had' preferred in this context. 'Plans for higher education' is more natural; 'for higher UMM education' may be acceptable if UMM is the institution, but ordering 'higher education at UMM' is clearer. Suggestions: use 'have had' for possession in present perfect and place institution after 'at' if needed (e.g., 'higher education at UMM').

× I mean additional learning courses.

✓ I mean additional courses for learning.

Phrase is awkward; 'additional learning courses' is understandable but clumsy. 'Additional courses' or 'additional training courses' or 'courses for further study' are clearer. Suggestions: choose more natural collocations like 'additional courses' or 'further training'.

× Yes, because I have always had a plan to be a UMM tutor in a university.

✓ Yes, because I have always planned to be a UMM tutor at a university.

'Have always had a plan to be' is wordy; 'have always planned to be' is more natural. Use 'at a university' rather than 'in a university'. Suggestions: simplify expressions of long-held intentions and use correct preposition 'at' for roles within institutions.

× That would definitely be my parents.

✓ That would definitely be my parents.

Sentence is grammatically fine; no correction needed. (No applicable error from list.) Suggestions: none.

× Well, since I've always wanted to be a tutor, my family members have supported me a lot, and this encouragement helps me, uh, gain more confidence to pursue this goal.

✓ Well, since I've always wanted to be a tutor, my family members have supported me a lot, and this encouragement has helped me gain more confidence to pursue this goal.

Mixing present perfect 'have supported' with present 'helps' is inconsistent. Using 'has helped' matches the continuing effect of past support up to now. Remove filler 'uh' and comma before 'gain'. Suggestions: keep verb tenses consistent when linking past support to present confidence.

× Well, I cannot tell a lot about uh.

✓ Well, I can't say much.

Original is incomplete and awkward ('tell a lot about uh'). Use concise phrase 'say much' to express inability to provide details. Suggestions: avoid fillers and incomplete clauses; use standard phrases like 'I can't say much'.

× Mostly we share our daily updates as well as work related, uh, news.

✓ Mostly we share our daily updates as well as work-related news.

'Work related' should be hyphenated as a compound adjective: 'work-related'. Remove filler 'uh'. Suggestions: hyphenate compound adjectives before nouns and avoid unnecessary fillers.