Birthday— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Câu trả lời của bạn khá tự nhiên nhưng có một số lỗi nhỏ về ngữ pháp và từ vựng, ví dụ như 'relative' nên dùng số nhiều 'relatives', và tránh dùng từ lóng như 'wanna' trong bài thi chính thức. Bạn cũng nên tránh lặp từ như 'beloved' hai lần và sử dụng các liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn.

Example: I usually celebrate my birthday with my relatives and close friends. I prefer a cozy atmosphere rather than a big party because I enjoy spending quality time with people I care about.

Suggestion: Bạn nên chú ý sử dụng thì quá khứ cho các hành động trong quá khứ như 'loved' thay vì 'love'. Ngoài ra, tránh dùng từ lặp lại và từ không chính xác như 'introverts' (số nhiều) thay vì 'introverted'. Sử dụng liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn và tránh các từ ngữ không cần thiết như 'uh', 'umm'.

Example: When I was young, I was an extrovert, so I loved celebrating my birthday with my friends at school. I used to invite them to my house where we played music and enjoyed mini games. However, now I am more introverted and prefer spending time with my relatives.

Suggestion: Câu trả lời của bạn thiếu sự rõ ràng và có một số lỗi ngữ pháp như 'lack my money' không chính xác. Bạn nên sử dụng từ vựng phù hợp hơn và cấu trúc câu rõ ràng hơn để truyền đạt ý tưởng. Ngoài ra, nên tránh lặp từ và sử dụng liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc.

Example: I don't think celebrating my own birthday is very important because I prefer to save money. However, I believe celebrating my friends' and especially my mother's birthdays is important, so I am willing to spend money on those occasions.

Suggestion: Bạn cần chú ý đến ngữ pháp số nhiều và số ít, ví dụ 'many country' nên là 'many countries', 'mother had' nên là 'mothers have'. Câu trả lời cũng hơi dài dòng và thiếu sự mạch lạc. Bạn nên sử dụng các liên từ để kết nối ý và tránh lặp từ. Ngoài ra, nên dùng từ vựng chính xác và phù hợp hơn.

Example: I believe that in China and many other countries, celebrating mothers' birthdays is the most important. Mothers play many roles such as teacher, nurse, and friend while raising their children, so their birthdays deserve special attention.

× I usually celebrate my birthday with my relative and my close friend.

✓ I usually celebrate my birthday with my relatives and my close friends.

The word 'relative' and 'friend' should be plural because the speaker refers to more than one person. In English, when talking about more than one person, the plural form is required.

× I don't wanna have a birthday party because I don't like the party atmosphere, but I love the cozy atmosphere when I am with my beloved, uh, friends and beloved relative.

✓ I don't want to have a birthday party because I don't like the party atmosphere, but I love the cozy atmosphere when I am with my beloved friends and beloved relatives.

The informal contraction 'wanna' should be replaced with 'want to' in formal or semi-formal speech. Also, 'beloved relative' should be plural to match 'friends' and the context.

× When I was young, I was an extrovert so I love to celebrate my birthday with my friends at school.

✓ When I was young, I was an extrovert so I loved to celebrate my birthday with my friends at school.

The sentence refers to a past time ('when I was young'), so the verb 'love' should be in the past tense 'loved' to maintain tense consistency.

× Umm, I invited them to my house, uh, playing music and plays mini games.

✓ Umm, I invited them to my house, played music, and played mini games.

The original sentence incorrectly mixes verb forms. After 'invited them to my house,' the verbs should be in the past tense and parallel in structure: 'played music' and 'played mini games.'

× But now I'm not an extrovert anymore, I become more introverts and I love to be around my relatives more.

✓ But now I'm not an extrovert anymore, I have become more introverted and I love to be around my relatives more.

'Introverts' is plural but the subject is singular 'I', so it should be 'introverted' (adjective). Also, 'become' should be in present perfect 'have become' to indicate change over time.

× It is not important to celebrate my birthday because I think I am a material person and I don't want to lack my money for occasions like that.

✓ It is not important to celebrate my birthday because I think I am a material person and I don't want to waste my money on occasions like that.

The phrase 'lack my money' is incorrect. The correct expression is 'waste my money' when referring to spending money unnecessarily.

× For my friend's birthday, I think that is important.

✓ For my friends' birthdays, I think those are important.

The sentence refers generally to multiple friends and their birthdays, so both 'friend' and 'birthday' should be plural, and the pronouns adjusted accordingly.

× For my mother's birthday, I think it is important and I want to spend my money on this occasion more.

✓ For my mother's birthday, I think it is important and I want to spend more money on this occasion.

The phrase 'spend my money on this occasion more' is awkward. The correct word order is 'spend more money on this occasion.'

× I think not just in China, but also in many country all around the world, the mother's birthday is very important to celebrate, because the mother had a hard time raising their child, being a teacher, a nurse, a chef, a friend and a mother at the same time, their appearance is very special for this work.

✓ I think not just in China, but also in many countries all around the world, the mother's birthday is very important to celebrate, because mothers have a hard time raising their children, being teachers, nurses, chefs, friends, and mothers at the same time; their role is very special for this work.

'Country' should be plural 'countries' to match 'many.' 'Mother' should be plural 'mothers' to agree with 'their child' which should be 'their children.' Also, the list of roles should be plural to match the plural subject. 'Appearance' is incorrect here; 'role' fits better.