Birthday— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more consistent in tense and avoid repetition and filler words. Start with a clear topic sentence in present tense, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words (for example, “for example” or “also”). Keep it within 2–4 sentences and remove hesitations like “uh” or “umm.”

Example: I usually spend my birthday with my children because they love the celebration. For example, we bake a small cake and they blow out the candles while we all sing, and then we spend the afternoon playing games together.

Suggestion: Use past tense consistently and provide one specific detail about a memorable celebration. Reduce fillers and add a linking phrase to make the answer coherent (e.g., “because,” “so”).

Example: My birthday was during summer vacation, so I used to celebrate my lunar birthday with friends. For instance, we would have a picnic at a park and exchange small presents after school ended.

Suggestion: Be careful with sensitive topics—express them clearly and respectfully. Use correct grammar (e.g., "one stillbirth") and avoid informal contractions like "'cause." Start with a direct topic sentence and then give a concise reason with one specific example or feeling.

Example: Yes, I think birthdays are important. After experiencing loss in my family, I feel birthdays are a meaningful way to appreciate life and to show gratitude to people for being born.

Suggestion: Avoid vague endings and fillers. Begin with a clear opinion, then use linking words (e.g., “however,” “for example”) and give a specific cultural example. Finish the sentence fully to avoid ambiguity.

Example: I believe every birthday matters, but in China people often place special emphasis on elders’ birthdays. For example, families commonly celebrate a 60th or 70th birthday with a big family dinner and traditional gifts to honor the elder's life and health.

× I tried to spend time with my kids on my birthday because kids love birthdays.

✓ I try to spend time with my kids on my birthday because kids love birthdays.

The speaker refers to a habitual action (what they usually do), so present simple tense 'try' is required rather than past 'tried'. Use present simple for routines: 'I try to...'.

× They like to blow candles, they like to sing birthday song and spend time with their family and they like to, uh, they like to enjoy the, umm, festive mood.

✓ They like to blow out candles, they like to sing the birthday song and spend time with their family, and they like to enjoy the festive mood.

Use 'blow out candles' rather than 'blow candles' for the common collocation. 'The birthday song' needs the definite article because a specific song is implied. Remove redundant repetitions and unnecessary articles: 'enjoy the festive mood' is correct.

× My birthday is during summer vacation, so I used to, umm, celebrate my lunar birthday because then I could spend time with my friends and get present from them.

✓ My birthday is during summer vacation, so I used to celebrate my lunar birthday because then I could spend time with my friends and get presents from them.

The speaker correctly uses past habitual 'used to' for actions in the past. The error is a missing plural 'presents' after 'get' since multiple gifts are implied. Maintain 'used to' and pluralize countable noun.

× After having two kids and 1 still birth, I realized that it's really difficult to get to be born in this world.

✓ After having two kids and one stillbirth, I realized that it's really difficult to be born into this world.

Use the correct written form 'one' and 'stillbirth' as a single word. The phrase 'get to be born' is awkward; 'be born' is the correct expression. Also use 'into this world' as the standard prepositional phrase.

× So I think it's a must to celebrate one's birthday 'cause they did amazing job to be born into this world.

✓ So I think it's important to celebrate someone's birthday because they did an amazing job being born into this world.

Replace informal 'it's a must' with 'it's important' for clarity (optional but clearer). Use 'someone's' rather than 'one's' for natural phrasing. Include the article 'an' before 'amazing job' and use the gerund 'being born' after 'job'.

× I think everyone's birthday is equally important, but in Asian culture umm it is more important to celebrate elderly's birthdays.

✓ I think everyone's birthday is equally important, but in Asian culture it is more important to celebrate the elderly's birthdays.

Use 'the elderly' (a collective noun) with 'the' and possessive form 'the elderly's birthdays' is acceptable but better: 'celebrate the birthdays of the elderly'. The original omitted 'the'.

× That's why umm, they tend to celebrate 60th birthday, 70th birthday and 80th birthday.

✓ That's why they tend to celebrate 60th, 70th and 80th birthdays.

When listing ages, use plural 'birthdays' after the series. Also omit filler 'umm' and avoid repeating 'birthday' after each ordinal by placing 'birthdays' after the list.

× But nowadays 60s become quite young that's why people.

✓ But nowadays people in their 60s are considered quite young, so they...

Original sentence is incomplete and incorrectly structured. '60s become quite young' is ungrammatical; use 'people in their 60s are considered quite young'. End with a complete clause, e.g. 'so they' followed by the intended action. Ensure subject-verb agreement and complete thought.