Perfume— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Your answer is understandable but contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Try to use simpler and clearer sentences, and avoid redundancy. Also, use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

Example: Yes, I like perfume. I usually spray it on my clothes before going outside because I want to smell pleasant. It also helps to boost my mood and makes people around me feel good.

Suggestion: Your answer is relevant but has some repetition and minor errors. Try to avoid repeating words and use linking words to make your answer more coherent. Also, be careful with word choice, for example, 'parfum' should be 'perfume'.

Example: Yes, I usually use perfume daily. I spray it on my clothes before going out because I like to smell nice. Moreover, people often compliment me on my fragrance.

Suggestion: Your answer is unclear and contains many grammatical mistakes. Try to organize your ideas clearly with a topic sentence and supporting details. Use correct sentence structures and avoid confusing phrases.

Example: Yes, I would buy perfume as a gift. For example, I once gave my sister a nice perfume from a popular brand. I think perfume is a good gift because it helps people feel more confident and attractive.

Suggestion: Your answer has unclear expressions and grammatical errors. Try to express your ideas more clearly and use linking words to connect your points logically. Also, use correct vocabulary and sentence structures.

Example: Yes, some perfumes are very expensive. This is because they are made by famous brands and the ingredients, like flower extracts, are costly to obtain.

× I used to put it on my clothes whenever I go outside the home because I like to present myself very appealing in the smell.

✓ I put it on my clothes whenever I go outside the home because I like to present myself as very appealing in smell.

The phrase 'used to' implies a past habit that no longer occurs, but the context suggests a current habit, so simple present tense 'put' is appropriate. Also, 'appealing in the smell' is awkward; 'present myself as very appealing in smell' is clearer.

× Instantly boost the mood of every any anybody who come nearby me, so they often appreciate me.

✓ It instantly boosts the mood of anybody who comes near me, so they often appreciate me.

The sentence lacks a subject; adding 'It' clarifies the subject. 'Boost' should be 'boosts' to agree with singular subject 'It'. 'Anybody' is singular, so the verb should be 'comes' not 'come'. 'Nearby me' is incorrect preposition usage; 'near me' is correct.

× I often spray it on my clothes whenever I want to go out from the home.

✓ I often spray it on my clothes whenever I want to go out of the home.

The correct preposition is 'out of' when indicating leaving a place. 'Go out from the home' is incorrect.

× I always admire myself being appealing and, and even people give compliment about, uh, my smell.

✓ I always admire myself for being appealing, and even people give compliments about my smell.

The phrase 'admire myself being appealing' is awkward; 'admire myself for being appealing' is correct. 'Give compliment' should be plural 'give compliments'. The filler 'uh' is omitted for clarity.

× Absolutely, I even have to keep with my sister a nice perfume who was with St. Is Perry good And it is because everybody do liked to smell better than any than other and it increased their enhanced their personality so.

✓ Absolutely, I even keep a nice perfume with my sister, which is from St. Perry. It is because everybody likes to smell better than others, and it enhances their personality.

The original sentence is fragmented and unclear. 'Have to keep with my sister a nice perfume' is incorrect; 'keep a nice perfume with my sister' is clearer. 'Who was with St. Is Perry good' is unclear; assumed 'which is from St. Perry'. 'Everybody do liked' is incorrect; correct is 'everybody likes'. 'Increased their enhanced their personality' is redundant; 'enhances their personality' is correct.

× Yeah, some people often are very expensive.

✓ Yeah, some perfumes are often very expensive.

'Some people' cannot be 'very expensive'; the subject should be 'some perfumes'. Also, 'often' is better placed before 'are' or after 'are' depending on emphasis; 'are often' is more natural.

× It is because of the company, our manufacturer, which are uh branded and have a reputation within the world in the forces, the way perfume is extracted from the flowers or other hops, they are very expensive.

✓ It is because of the company or manufacturer, which is branded and has a reputation worldwide. Also, the way perfume is extracted from flowers or other herbs makes it very expensive.

'Our manufacturer' is unclear; 'company or manufacturer' is clearer. 'Which are' should be 'which is' to agree with singular 'company or manufacturer'. 'Within the world in the forces' is unclear; replaced with 'worldwide'. 'Hops' is likely a mishearing of 'herbs'. The sentence is split for clarity.