Computers— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be clearer and more natural: start with a direct topic sentence, limit to 2–4 supporting details, use linking words, and correct grammar. Mention specific tasks and tools. For example, say you use a computer for work and study, give concrete examples (writing papers, data analysis, emailing), and link ideas with words like ‘for example’, ‘also’, or ‘such as’.

Example: I use a computer mainly for work and studying. For example, when I write a research paper I use it to search academic articles and organize references, and at work I use software like Excel to analyze data. Also, I use email and video calls to communicate with colleagues.

Suggestion: Give a clear time reference and a concise description. Begin with a short topic sentence stating when you first used a computer, then add one specific detail about the experience and a linking word. Avoid confusing or unclear phrases and grammatical errors.

Example: I first used a computer when I was at primary school, around age eight. At that time we had basic lessons and I found some tasks, like using Excel, quite difficult because I hadn’t learned the steps yet.

Suggestion: Answer directly and coherently: state how life would be affected, then give 2 specific examples (communication, work, entertainment). Use linking words like ‘for example’ and correct grammar to improve clarity.

Example: I can’t imagine life without computers because they are essential for work and communication. For example, I would find it hard to do remote work or keep in touch with friends, and I would lose easy access to online photos and games that I enjoy.

Suggestion: This answer is fairly clear but can be more concise and natural. Start with a topic sentence, then give specific reasons and an example of a difficulty, using linking words like ‘because’ and ‘for instance’. Avoid filler words and repetition.

Example: It would be difficult for me to use a computer if I get older because my eyesight and reaction time might decline. For instance, small text and fast-moving interfaces would be hard to read and navigate without larger fonts or assistive tools.

× Including working is and studying it.

✓ Including working and studying.

The sentence uses an unnecessary 'is' and an extra pronoun 'it'. The structure should list activities using gerunds (verb+ing). Remove 'is' and 'it' to form a parallel gerund phrase. Suggestion: use 'Including working and studying.' or 'I use a computer for work and study.'

× For example, if I write a research paper, I will use computer to collect, uh, selective literatures to help a review, and in my work I will choose a computer as my helper to select the use.

✓ For example, if I write a research paper, I will use a computer to collect selected literature to help with a review, and at work I will use a computer to help with selection tasks.

Multiple errors: missing article before 'computer' (use 'a computer'), incorrect plural 'literatures' (use uncountable 'literature' or 'selected literature'), word choice 'selective' should be 'selected', and awkward phrase 'select the use' should be clarified. Also add 'with' after 'help'. Ensure consistent nouns and articles.

× In my pupil class of it as my most difficult course for me and my childhood because I'm so afford to go with the steps of the instructors because this excel walls cannot be understood by me and my child.

✓ When I was a pupil, computers were my most difficult subject in childhood because I could not keep up with the instructors' steps; Excel was hard for me to understand.

The original sentence has incorrect word order and unclear phrases ('pupil class of it', 'I'm so afford to go with the steps'). Use past tense to match 'childhood', correct collocations ('keep up with the instructors'), and clarify 'Excel' as the specific software. Remove redundant segments and fix subject-verb agreement.

× I cannot really imagine the life that's without computers health, especially when I'm playing some games or just uh, select the pictures from the sea because of the photographer.

✓ I cannot really imagine life without computers, especially when I'm playing games or selecting photos from the internet for photography.

Problems: unnecessary 'that's', misplaced word 'health', inconsistent verb forms ('select' should be 'selecting'), and unclear phrase 'from the sea because of the photographer'. Rephrase to 'selecting photos from the internet' or 'selecting photos for photography'. Ensure gerund consistency and remove extraneous words.

× No computer makes me so inconvenience.

✓ No computer makes things very inconvenient for me.

'Inconvenience' is a noun; the correct adjective is 'inconvenient'. Also adjust word order to 'makes things very inconvenient for me' or 'I would be very inconvenienced without a computer.'

× If I become older, maybe using computer can be considered as the, uh, more difficult step for me in my daily life because maybe my eyesight or my reaction time cannot keep up with the younger generation, so it's difficult to see and navigate.

✓ If I become older, using a computer may become more difficult for me in daily life because my eyesight or reaction time may not keep up with younger people, making it hard to see and navigate.

Errors: missing article 'a' before 'computer', awkward modal 'can be considered as the more difficult step' should be 'may become more difficult', tense/modal consistency: use 'may' for possibility. 'Younger generation' changed to 'younger people' for natural phrasing. Maintain gerund 'using' and simplify sentence for clarity.