Advertisement— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and correct grammar; open with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific supporting details with correct tense and fewer hesitations. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to show cause and effect.

Example: Yes. An insurance advert stuck with me because it told a touching story: a beggar was helped by a shop owner, and years later he returned as a doctor to repay her kindness. This ad impressed me because it emphasized generosity and long-term gratitude, not the product itself.

Suggestion: Finish your thoughts and avoid vague endings. Begin with a clear statement, then support it with two concise reasons using linking phrases like 'because' and 'however'. Correct small grammar mistakes (e.g., 'signage' uncountable, 'not step onto the track').

Example: Not really. In Brisbane there are few commercial adverts on trains; most displays are safety signage from Queensland Rail telling people to stand behind the line and not step onto the track. However, I do see many more commercial ads online and on apps, probably because digital platforms are cheaper and easier for advertisers to target.

Suggestion: Start with a direct topic sentence and then give one or two specific reasons. Replace awkward phrases ('in any way') and be more precise about actions you take. Use linking word 'but' to contrast ideas.

Example: I am neutral about ads. But if they appear too frequently or interrupt my videos, I find them annoying and try to avoid the advertised products or use ad blockers.

Suggestion: Clarify vocabulary and fix pronunciation/word choice errors ('arts' → 'ads', 'I live' → 'I like', 'tails' → 'tells'). Provide a complete example and avoid trailing off. Use linking words like 'for example' and 'because'.

Example: I prefer ads that tell the company's story rather than focus only on the product. For example, Nike ads from about ten years ago emphasized the brand's values and inspired people, which is why I remember them more.

Suggestion: Correct obvious mistakes ('ants' → 'ads') and open with a clear statement. Keep the answer to two to three sentences and use linking phrases like 'because' and 'so' for logical flow. Give one specific example of targeted advertising.

Example: Yes, I see a lot of ads on my phone. This is because companies track your browsing habits, so you often get targeted ads—for instance, if I search for cameras, I later see camera ads on social media.

× once he grow up, he became a doctor and then kind of repaid that favour to the shop owner

✓ once he grew up, he became a doctor and then kind of repaid that favour to the shop owner

The verb 'grow' is incorrect in this past narrative. The past participle form 'grown' is used with auxiliary verbs (e.g. 'has grown'), but here a simple past tense is required: 'grew'. Use 'grew up' for completed action in the past when telling a story. Suggestion: use 'grew up' for past events (He grew up and became...).

× It really highlights her generosity

✓ It really highlights his generosity

The preceding sentence refers to 'a beggar' and 'a shop owner' with the beggar later becoming a doctor who repaid the shop owner. The pronoun 'her' is inconsistent with the previously implied male subject. Use a matching pronoun 'his' or reword to 'the doctor's generosity' to avoid gender assumptions. Suggestion: ensure pronouns match the referenced noun's gender or use gender-neutral phrasing like 'the doctor's generosity.'

× In Brisbane I don't see many commercial advertisements and they are mostly safety signages from Queensland Rail telling people to stand behind the line and not stepping into the track.

✓ In Brisbane I don't see many commercial advertisements and most of the signs are safety notices from Queensland Rail telling people to stand behind the line and not step onto the tracks.

Several quantifier and word choice issues: 'many commercial advertisements' is acceptable but 'they are mostly safety signages' incorrectly uses 'they' to refer to advertisements and 'signages' is nonstandard. 'Most of the signs' correctly quantifies and 'safety notices' is standard. Also 'not stepping into the track' should be 'not step onto the tracks' for correct verb form and plural 'tracks.' Suggestion: match pronouns to their antecedents and use standard nouns: 'signs' or 'notices', and use base verb after 'not' in instructions ('not step').

× Whereas in turn you see a lot more of these commercial apps. Part of the reasons might be because.

✓ Whereas on other services you see a lot more commercial ads. Part of the reason might be that.

The original has sentence fragments and awkward structure: 'in turn' and 'these commercial apps' are unclear, and 'Part of the reasons might be because' is ungrammatical and redundant (reason... because). Replace with complete sentences: 'on other services' clarifies contrast; 'commercial ads' is clearer; use 'Part of the reason might be that' or 'Part of the reason is that.' Suggestion: avoid sentence fragments and redundant 'reason... because'; complete the thought with 'that' + clause or 'is' + noun phrase.

× I don't have a strong feeling towards advertisement in any way, although if they come in a large number or they stop me from watching YouTube videos for example, then I would specifically avoid those products.

✓ I don't have strong feelings towards advertisements, although if they come in large numbers or they interrupt my YouTube videos, for example, I would specifically avoid those products.

Errors: 'a strong feeling' is okay but 'feelings' plural is more natural; 'towards advertisement' needs plural 'advertisements' or 'advertising'; 'in a large number' should be 'in large numbers'; 'stop me from watching YouTube videos' is more idiomatically 'interrupt my YouTube videos.' Suggestion: use plural forms for countable nouns when speaking generally ('advertisements', 'numbers') and prefer natural collocations ('interrupt my videos').

× The kind of arts I live is the one that highlights the company rather than the product itself.

✓ The kind of ads I like are the ones that highlight the company rather than the product itself.

Multiple errors: 'arts' should be 'ads' (advertisements), 'I live' is a typo for 'I like', and subject-verb agreement requires 'are the ones' because 'the kind of ads' is plural in meaning. Use 'ones that highlight' to refer back to plural 'ads.' Suggestion: correct vocabulary ('ads') and verb ('like'), and ensure subject-verb agreement with plural reference words.

× So tails the company's story about uh, what's it all about and what values it really stands for for example, there's umm ads by Nike, umm, back 10 years ago they.

✓ So it tells the company's story about what it is all about and what values it stands for. For example, there were ads by Nike about this back ten years ago.

Original sentence is fragmented, has wrong words ('tails' should be 'tells'), and inconsistent tense/structure. Rephrase into two clear sentences: 'it tells' present tense describing the ad type, then 'there were ads... back ten years ago' for a past example. Also remove filler words and clarify chronology. Suggestion: avoid fillers, use correct verbs ('tells'), and keep consistent tense when giving general statements versus past examples.

× Do you often see advertisements when you are on your phone or computer? Student: I see ants every time I pick up my phone actually, and I think that might be because companies are getting better at tracking customers online so they know what websites you are browsing and what kind of things you are interested in, so they are much better at selling new products.

✓ I see ads every time I pick up my phone actually, and I think that might be because companies are getting better at tracking customers online, so they know what websites people are browsing and what kinds of things they are interested in, and they are much better at selling new products.

'ants' is a mispronunciation for 'ads'. Also 'you are browsing' mixes second person in a general statement; use 'people are browsing' or 'you' consistently. Use 'kinds' plural for 'things.' Maintain present tense consistent with general statements. Suggestion: correct misheard words ('ads'), use general subject 'people' for broad statements, and pluralize 'kinds' when appropriate.