Money— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Your answer is quite long and somewhat repetitive, which affects its naturalness and effectiveness. Try to be more concise and avoid redundancy. Also, organize your response with a clear topic sentence followed by specific supporting details, using linking words to improve coherence.

Example: Yes, I have borrowed money from my family several times because I often spend more than I earn on essentials like food and clothes. For example, at the end of the month, I sometimes need to ask my brother or sister for help to cover my expenses.

Suggestion: Your answer is somewhat vague and informal. To improve, provide a clear topic sentence and explain your reasoning with specific details. Use linking words to make your answer more coherent and natural.

Example: Yes, I have lent money to others because I believe in mutual support. For instance, when friends or family have helped me financially, I feel it's important to return the favor when they need assistance.

× So at the end of a month I become like a beggar.

✓ So at the end of a month I become like a beggar.

The sentence uses 'become' in present tense which is acceptable if describing a habitual situation. However, since the context is about past events, it should be in past tense 'became' to maintain consistency with the rest of the narrative.

× So at the end of a month I become like a beggar.

✓ So at the end of a month I became like a beggar.

The sentence describes a past situation, so the verb should be in past tense 'became' instead of present tense 'become' to maintain tense consistency.

× So I borrowed money from my brother, from my sister, from my mother and multiple people.

✓ So I borrowed money from my brother, my sister, my mother, and multiple people.

The sentence is mostly correct in past tense usage. The correction adds commas for clarity and removes redundant prepositions for smoother flow.

× Yes, I lent money to others as well because I feel like that if somebody is like giving me the money, then I also have to give money to other people as well because that's how this thing works.

✓ Yes, I lent money to others as well because I felt that if somebody gave me money, then I also had to give money to other people as well because that's how this thing works.

The sentence mixes past and present tenses inconsistently. To maintain past tense narrative, 'feel' should be 'felt', 'is like giving' should be 'gave', and 'have to give' should be 'had to give'.