Money— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundancy (e.g., "very small and tiny" is repetitive) and correct tense/word choice ("to buy a football" not "to purchase a new toy which was a football").

Example: Yes. Last month I borrowed money from my father to buy a new football. It was a small, lightweight ball that I wanted for practice, and borrowing the money helped me get it quickly.

Suggestion: Use correct verb forms and clearer linking. Begin with a direct statement, then give a specific example with reason and time expressions. Replace filler words (uh) and incorrect forms ("required", "lend") with "need" and past tense "lent."

Example: Yes, I often lend money to friends when they need it. For example, last week I lent my closest friend some money to pay for his school application fee because he had forgotten his wallet.

× Of course, last month I borrowed some money from my father to purchase a new toy which was a football and it was really interesting because it very small and tiny.

✓ Of course, last month I borrowed some money from my father to purchase a new toy, which was a football, and it was really interesting because it was very small and tiny.

The sentence has a missing past tense auxiliary 'was' before 'very small and tiny'. The rest correctly uses past tense 'borrowed' and 'was'. Add 'was' to maintain past tense consistency and subject-verb agreement: 'it was very small and tiny'. Also add commas to improve clarity: use a comma before 'which' and around the nonrestrictive clause.

× Definitely uh, I try to lend money to others if they required.

✓ Definitely, I try to lend money to others if they require it.

The original mixes present habitual 'I try' with past 'required'. Use present simple 'require' to match 'I try' when describing a general habit. Also add object 'it' after 'require' for completeness and remove filler 'uh'.

× I remember that last week I lend some money to my closest friend to fill his form in academic school.

✓ I remember that last week I lent some money to my closest friend to fill out his form at school.

The verb 'lend' is incorrect for past reference; the correct past tense is 'lent'. Also 'fill his form' is awkward - use the phrasal verb 'fill out' for completing forms and 'at school' is more natural than 'in academic school'. Keeping 'I remember that last week' indicates a past event, so 'lent' is required for correct past tense.