Money— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Clarify and correct key words, keep answer concise and logical, use a clear topic sentence and one or two supporting details. Avoid redundancy and unrelated phrases. For example, start with a direct statement that you did borrow money, state the reason, amount or purpose briefly, and add one specific detail about the item or context using a linking word (because/so).

Example: Yes, I borrowed money from my elder brother last month to buy a new football. I needed about 20 dollars because my old ball was too worn out, so I wanted one that was suitable for both indoor and outdoor play.

Suggestion: Make the response a complete, grammatically correct sentence with a clear topic sentence. Explain briefly why you lent the money, how much or what it was for, and include a linking word to connect reason and result. Remove hesitations and unclear fragments.

Example: Yes, a couple of months ago I lent some money to my elder sister because she didn’t have enough cash at the shopping mall. I gave her 30 dollars so she could pay for groceries quickly, and she repaid me the following week.

× Of course, last month I bought some money from my elder brother to purchase a new football, which was really interesting as well as convenient to play outdoors and indoors.

✓ Of course. Last month I borrowed some money from my elder brother to buy a new football, which was fun and convenient to use both outdoors and indoors.

Error types: 26 Sentence structure errors and 1 Singular and plural issue partly. The student wrote 'bought some money' which is incorrect collocation; money is not 'bought'—you 'borrow' money. Also 'to purchase a new football' is acceptable but 'to buy' is more natural in speech; 'interesting' is not appropriate to describe a football—'fun' or 'enjoyable' fits better. 'Convenient to play outdoors and indoors' is awkward; use 'convenient to use both outdoors and indoors.' Suggestion: use the verb 'borrow' for taking money temporarily, choose 'buy' for purchasing items, replace 'interesting' with 'fun', and reorder phrase to 'convenient to use both outdoors and indoors.'

× As far as I remember a couple of months ago when I needed to lend some money to my elder sister to overcome the. Problem of cash for in the shopping mall.

✓ As far as I remember, a couple of months ago I lent some money to my elder sister because she had a cash problem at the shopping mall.

Error types: 26 Sentence structure errors and 11 Incorrect use of prepositions and 22 Article errors. The original sentence is fragmented and uses incorrect verb: student said 'when I needed to lend' which implies intention rather than completed action—context asks 'Have you ever lent money' so use past simple 'I lent.' The phrase 'to overcome the. Problem of cash for in the shopping mall' is broken and contains wrong prepositions and unnecessary article 'the.' Use 'because she had a cash problem at the shopping mall' for clarity and correct preposition 'at.' Suggestion: keep past simple 'I lent,' combine clauses into a single clear sentence, remove incorrect articles and prepositions, and place commas for clarity.