Jewelry— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Improve grammar and coherence: start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms and articles, and avoid redundancy. Use linking phrase to give an example. Keep it within 2–3 sentences. For example, say you rarely wear jewelry because of cost, then mention specific occasions when you do.

Ejemplo: I rarely wear jewelry because I’m a student and most pieces are too expensive for me. However, I do wear simple items for special events, such as my graduation ceremony or important meetings.

Sugerencia: Focus on natural phrasing and correct collocations: use ‘handmade’ and avoid awkward structures like ‘it avoids to be’. Use linking words correctly (on the one hand / on the other hand) and give a specific reason or example. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

Ejemplo: I prefer handmade jewelry because each piece is unique and not the same as others. Also, handmade items are often cheaper and feel more personal, especially when bought from local artisans.

Sugerencia: Correct tense and article errors and avoid repetition. Begin with a clear topic sentence (I seldom buy jewelry), then briefly describe the most recent purchase with correct past tense and specific details. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

Ejemplo: I seldom buy jewelry because it’s too expensive for me right now. The last time I bought a piece was as a birthday gift for a close friend — it cost about CN¥200 and she loved it.

Sugerencia: Make a clear, coherent answer with specific reasons and correct vocabulary. Start with a topic sentence (people keep jewelry for a long time) and give two clear reasons using linking words. Avoid unclear words like ‘corrections’ and incomplete sentences. Provide examples such as sentimental value or durability.

Ejemplo: People often keep jewelry for a long time because it can be expensive and durable, so it makes sense to wear it for years. In addition, many pieces have sentimental value — for example, family heirlooms or gifts from loved ones — which makes people reluctant to part with them.

× Not really, as a student this kind of things are too pricey to afford, so I only will then during the special events like graduation ceremony or attending some important meeting.

✓ Not really. As a student, these kinds of things are too pricey to afford, so I only wear them during special events like graduation ceremonies or important meetings.

Errors: wrong article and noun number ('this kind of things' should be 'these kinds of things' or 'this kind of thing') and word order. Use plural 'these kinds of things' to match plural 'things'. Add commas and split into two sentences. Change 'only will then during' to natural verb phrase 'only wear them during'. Use plural for events/meetings to be general. Suggestion: say 'As a student, these kinds of things are too pricey, so I only wear them during special events such as graduation ceremonies or important meetings.'

× I'd prefer hand make jewelry.

✓ I'd prefer handmade jewelry.

Error: incorrect form 'hand make' where an adjective is needed. Use the compound adjective 'handmade' to describe jewelry. Alternatively 'hand-made' or 'handmade jewelry' is correct. Suggestion: use 'I prefer handmade jewelry' or 'I would prefer handmade jewelry.'

× On the one hand it is completely unique, it avoids to be the same as other people's and on the other hand it is much more cheaper if you buy it.

✓ On the one hand it is completely unique; it is not the same as other people's, and on the other hand it is much cheaper to buy.

Errors: 'avoids to be the same' is ungrammatical; use 'it is not the same as'. 'Much more cheaper' is incorrect comparative; use 'much cheaper' or 'more expensive' depending on meaning. Also possessive 'other people's' needs a noun (people's what?), but context implies 'other people's jewelry' so 'other people's' is acceptable if followed by noun; here 'other people's' without noun is awkward, so rephrase to 'not the same as other people's'. Suggestion: 'On the one hand, it is completely unique and not the same as other people's jewelry; on the other hand, it is much cheaper to buy.'

× Now it is too expensive too for me so I seldom buy them.

✓ Right now it is too expensive for me, so I seldom buy any.

Errors: awkward adverb placement 'too' and choice of pronoun 'them' vague. Use 'right now' or 'currently' and place 'too' correctly if used. 'Any' is better for unspecified items. Suggestion: 'Currently it is too expensive for me, so I seldom buy any.'

× The last time I buy that is as a gift birthday gift for one of my close friends.

✓ The last time I bought one was as a birthday gift for one of my close friends.

Errors: wrong verb tense 'buy' should be past 'bought'; redundant phrase 'gift birthday gift' should be 'birthday gift'; noun reference 'that' is vague, use 'one'. Also reorder to natural English 'The last time I bought one was as a birthday gift for a close friend.' Suggestion: use past tense for past events and avoid redundant words.

× It take me about CN¥200 and she loved it.

✓ It took me about CN¥200 and she loved it.

Errors: verb tense mismatch; 'take' should be past 'took' to match 'loved'. Use past tense for completed actions. Also consider currency phrasing 'It cost me about CN¥200.' which is more natural. Suggestion: 'It cost me about CN¥200, and she loved it.'

× The price does matter because it is relatively more expensive than other corrections, so people are usually where then keep them for a long time.

✓ Price does matter because jewelry is relatively more expensive than other items, so people usually wear or keep it for a long time.

Multiple errors: 'other corrections' is incorrect word choice; likely 'other options' or 'other items'. 'People are usually where then keep them' is ungrammatical and confused: probably meant 'people usually wear or keep them'. Replace with clear verb and correct prepositions. Also agree number: 'jewelry... it' or 'jewelry... they' depending on countable/uncountable. Suggestion: 'Price matters because jewelry is relatively more expensive than other items, so people usually wear or keep it for a long time.'

× On the other hand, a lot of them are.

✓ On the other hand, many of them have sentimental value or personal significance.

Error: incomplete sentence 'a lot of them are' lacks complement; readers don't know what 'are'. Provide a full idea such as 'have sentimental value' which fits the question about why people wear jewelry a long time. Suggestion: complete the sentence with the intended meaning, e.g. 'On the other hand, many of them have sentimental value.'