Snacks— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: 文法の誤りや不自然な表現が見られます。例えば、「feel tiredness」ではなく「feel tired」が自然です。また、「it makes me energy」も不自然で、「it gives me energy」などが適切です。さらに、文のつながりを明確にするために接続詞を使うと良いでしょう。

Ejemplo: I usually eat snacks when I feel tired because chocolate helps me relax and reduce stress. Moreover, it gives me energy, so I can work harder.

Sugerencia: 発音の誤り（"Halsey"は"healthy"の誤り）や文法の誤りが多く、意味が伝わりにくいです。また、文が途中で切れているように見えます。正しい単語を使い、文を完結させることが重要です。さらに、理由を明確に述べるために接続詞を使いましょう。

Ejemplo: No, I don't think eating snacks is healthy because they are high in calories and have little nutrition. Therefore, I prefer to eat three proper meals a day.

Sugerencia: 時制の一致に注意しましょう。過去の話なので「eat」ではなく「ate」を使うべきです。また、「told me stop eating」より「told me to stop eating」が正しい表現です。文をより自然にするために接続詞を使うと良いです。

Ejemplo: Yes, I often ate snacks because I felt hungry after school, but my mother told me to stop eating and brush my teeth.

Sugerencia: 「in Hot Today」は不自然な表現で、「on hot days」などが適切です。また、「my son also like ice cream」は主語と動詞の一致が間違っています。さらに、文の流れを良くするために接続詞を使いましょう。

Ejemplo: I like to eat ice cream because there is a wide variety of flavors. Also, on hot days, it keeps me cool. My son likes ice cream too, and eating it together is a lot of fun.

× When I feel tiredness, I eat chocolate.

✓ When I feel tired, I eat chocolate.

'Tiredness' is a noun, but the sentence requires an adjective to describe the feeling. 'Tired' is the correct adjective form to use here.

× In addition, it makes me energy so I work harder.

✓ In addition, it gives me energy so I work harder.

The verb 'makes' is incorrectly used with 'energy'. The correct verb is 'gives' to express that chocolate provides energy.

× No, I don't think it's Halsey to eat the snack because.

✓ No, I don't think it's healthy to eat snacks because.

'Halsey' is a misspelling of 'healthy'. Also, 'snack' should be plural 'snacks' to refer generally to snacks.

× They are high calorie and have no nutritions so I do better eat enough food for three times in a day.

✓ They are high in calories and have no nutrition, so I better eat enough food three times a day.

'High calorie' should be 'high in calories'. 'Nutritions' is incorrect; 'nutrition' is uncountable. 'Do better eat' is incorrect; 'better eat' is correct. 'For three times in a day' should be 'three times a day'.

× Yes, I often eat snacks because I feel hungry after school but my mother told me stop eating and brush my teeth.

✓ Yes, I often ate snacks because I felt hungry after school, but my mother told me to stop eating and brush my teeth.

The question is about past habits, so past tense 'ate' and 'felt' should be used. Also, 'told me stop' is incorrect; it should be 'told me to stop'.

× In addition, in Hot Today, it keeps me cool and my son also like ice cream.

✓ In addition, on hot days, it keeps me cool and my son also likes ice cream.

'Hot Today' is incorrect; it should be 'on hot days'. 'My son also like' should be 'my son also likes' to agree with singular subject.