Part 1
Examinador
Do you often go to the library?
Candidato
In coming hours, my beloved friends and I pay a visit to the library twice a week. Uh, I do my homework and I do my homework and read philosophy books, uh, which were written by the Dalai Lama, which were, uh, who is well read writer.
Examinador
What do you usually do in the library?
Candidato
Usually I do my homework the day yeah and often read philosophy books by the Dalai Lama who is well read, writer who is well known spiritual leader because I find his ideas inspiring and helpful for my studies.
Examinador
Did you go to the library when you were a kid?
Candidato
Yes, of course, when I, when I was young, I, I, I went to the library with my brother and he gave me some feedbacks about the reading books, uh, about the reading books.
Examinador
Do Chinese kids often go to the library?
Candidato
I don't know a lot about Chinese kids, uh, because uh, Chinese, uh, I heard about it, uh, Chinese kids, uh, pay a visit to the local library uh, twice a week. Uh, and it is uh, interesting for them, uh, they interested in, uh, to the, uh, reading, uh, funny books.
Do you often go to the library?
Puntuación: 52.0Sugerencia: Сократите повторы, говорите прямо и естественно. Начните с короткого утверждения о частоте (topic sentence), затем добавьте одно-два конкретных дополнения. Уберите лишние слова («uh», «my beloved friends», повтор «I do my homework»), используйте связку для плавного перехода (for example, and, also).
Ejemplo: I go to the library twice a week. I usually go there to do my homework and to read philosophy books by the Dalai Lama, because I find his ideas very inspiring.
What do you usually do in the library?
Puntuación: 60.0Sugerencia: Формулируйте тему ясно, затем развивайте мысль с конкретикой. Избегайте неуклюжих фраз и повторов, используйте связки (for example, and, because) правильно. Дайте одно-две конкретные причины или примера вместо общей расшифровки статуса автора.
Ejemplo: Usually I do my homework and sometimes read books by the Dalai Lama. I enjoy his writing because it helps me think more clearly and apply those ideas to my studies.
Did you go to the library when you were a kid?
Puntuación: 48.0Sugerencia: Говорите компактно и избегайте повторов. Дайте короткое прямое утверждение, затем одно конкретное подробное воспоминание. Исправьте грамматические ошибки («feedbacks» → «feedback», «reading books» → «books»).
Ejemplo: Yes, I did. When I was young I used to go with my brother, and he would recommend books and tell me which ones he liked.
Do Chinese kids often go to the library?
Puntuación: 40.0Sugerencia: Избегайте многословия и неуверенных вводных («I don't know a lot» с последующим утверждением). Если вы не уверены, лучше сказать это кратко, затем привести общее наблюдение или предположение с причиной. Уберите многократные «uh» и исправьте грамматику (they are interested in reading).
Ejemplo: I'm not sure, but I think many Chinese children do visit local libraries regularly, perhaps once or twice a week. They often borrow picture books and novels because these are both fun and educational.
× In coming hours, my beloved friends and I pay a visit to the library twice a week.
✓ My friends and I visit the library twice a week.
Используется неправильная форма времени и избыточные слова. Следует использовать простое настоящее для регулярных действий: 'visit' вместо 'pay a visit' с 'In coming hours' (некорректно). Уберите 'beloved' и 'In coming hours' для естественности. Совет: используйте 'I/We + visit(s)' для описания привычек.
× Uh, I do my homework and I do my homework and read philosophy books, uh, which were written by the Dalai Lama, which were, uh, who is well read writer.
✓ I do my homework and read philosophy books written by the Dalai Lama, who is a well-read writer.
Проблемы: повтор 'I do my homework', неправильное использование пассивной конструкции 'which were written' и неверный относительный оборот 'who is well read writer'. Следует использовать 'who is a well-read writer' и сократить повтор. Совет: избегайте повторов и используйте правильный относительный союз 'who' для людей и прилагательное 'well-read' с артиклем 'a'.
× Usually I do my homework the day yeah and often read philosophy books by the Dalai Lama who is well read, writer who is well known spiritual leader because I find his ideas inspiring and helpful for my studies.
✓ Usually I do my homework during the day and often read philosophy books by the Dalai Lama, who is a well-read writer and a well-known spiritual leader, because I find his ideas inspiring and helpful for my studies.
Проблемы: 'the day yeah' неуместно, отсутствие артиклей перед 'well-read writer' и 'well-known spiritual leader', и повторы. Используйте 'during the day' и соедините определения через 'and'. Совет: ставьте артикль 'a' перед профессиями/описаниями и объединяйте прилагательные корректно.
× Yes, of course, when I, when I was young, I, I, I went to the library with my brother and he gave me some feedbacks about the reading books, uh, about the reading books.
✓ Yes, of course. When I was young, I went to the library with my brother and he gave me some feedback about the books I was reading.
Проблемы: лишние повторы 'I, I, I' и некорректный множественный вариант 'feedbacks' (uncountable). Также фраза 'about the reading books' некорректна; лучше 'the books I was reading'. Совет: убирайте повторы, используйте 'feedback' без -s и корректный порядок слов в придаточном предложении.
× I don't know a lot about Chinese kids, uh, because uh, Chinese, uh, I heard about it, uh, Chinese kids, uh, pay a visit to the local library uh, twice a week.
✓ I don't know much about Chinese children, but I heard that many Chinese kids visit the local library twice a week.
Проблемы: тавтология, неверное использование 'a lot about' (лучше 'much about' с отрицанием), некорректная вставка 'I heard about it' и повтор 'Chinese' несколько раз. Также 'kids' лучше заменить на 'children' в формальной речи. Совет: упрощайте фразы: 'I don't know much about X, but I heard that...'.
× Uh, and it is uh, interesting for them, uh, they interested in, uh, to the, uh, reading, uh, funny books.
✓ And it is interesting for them; they are interested in reading funny books.
Проблемы: отсутствие глагола 'are' в 'they interested in' и неправильная конструкция 'interested in to the reading'. Уберите лишние вставки 'uh'. Используйте 'are interested in reading' для правильного беспредложного управления глаголом. Совет: после 'interested in' ставьте глагол с -ing и не используйте 'to'.