Hobby— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Make your answer more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid unclear phrases (e.g. “Beside us”), and provide one specific example or recent instance. Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, “also” or “in addition”). Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

Ejemplo: Yes, I do. I enjoy reading books because they help me relax and expand my knowledge; for example, I recently read a biography of a scientist that taught me a lot about perseverance. In addition, I like watching movies to unwind, especially independent films that focus on character development.

Sugerencia: Clarify and make details more specific: avoid filler phrases (e.g. “you know”, “what's more”), and explain briefly why origami and drawing were meaningful. Use a linking word to show contrast or addition and keep sentences direct.

Ejemplo: Yes, I did. As a child I played a lot of outdoor games with neighborhood friends, such as football and tag. I also enjoyed origami and drawing because they gave me a sense of achievement—I used to make paper animals and display my drawings on the wall.

Sugerencia: This answer is unclear and contains errors and unfinished thoughts. Be specific about the hobby (e.g. drawing characters or cartoons), remove filler language, correct grammar, and complete your idea about the emotional effect. Use linking words and limit to 3–4 clear sentences.

Ejemplo: Yes, I have. I've loved drawing characters and cartoons since childhood, and I still draw regularly. Drawing lets me turn ideas from my head into visual images, which gives me a lot of satisfaction and helps me relax after a busy day.

Sugerencia: Make the contrast clearer and correct awkward phrasing (e.g. “to share watching TV”). Use a neat topic sentence and a linking word (e.g. “however” or “while”), and give a brief example of a family member's hobby to add specificity.

Ejemplo: Not really. While I'm interested in creative activities such as origami and chess, most of my family prefer more relaxed pastimes; for example, my parents enjoy watching TV dramas and reading newspapers in the evening.

× Well, that I do.

✓ Well, I do.

'That I do' is unidiomatic in this context. The correct response to 'Do you have any hobbies?' is 'Well, I do.' Remove the extra demonstrative 'that' which is unnecessary and incorrect here.

× Beside us, watching movies is another hobby of mine, especially when I want to kick back and relax.

✓ Besides that, watching movies is another hobby of mine, especially when I want to kick back and relax.

'Beside us' is incorrect: 'beside' means 'next to', and 'us' is irrelevant. Use 'besides' (meaning 'in addition') and optionally 'that' or 'also' for clarity: 'Besides that' or 'Also'.

× I'm quite passionate about reading books, which help me clear my mind and broaden my knowledge.

✓ I'm quite passionate about reading books, which helps me clear my mind and broaden my knowledge.

The relative clause 'which help' refers to 'reading' (a singular gerund phrase) or 'reading books' as a singular activity, so the verb should be singular 'helps'. Use singular verb to agree with the activity as a unit.

× What's more, you know, I did enjoy doing origami and drawing, which helped me create a standard accomplishment and excitement I remember.

✓ What's more, I enjoyed doing origami and drawing, which gave me a sense of accomplishment and excitement that I still remember.

The original has awkward 'did enjoy doing' (unnecessary emphatic 'did') and incorrect noun phrase 'standard accomplishment and excitement'. Replace with simple past 'enjoyed' and natural phrase 'a sense of accomplishment and excitement that I still remember' for clarity and correct meaning.

× You know, I've been really interested in drawing and three cat and character since my childhood and when I was growing up.

✓ I've been really interested in drawing and creating cat characters since my childhood.

The phrase 'three cat and character' is unclear and ungrammatical. Likely intended 'creating cat characters'. Also remove redundant 'you know' and redundant 'since my childhood and when I was growing up' — keep one time expression 'since my childhood'.

× I mean, it's allowed me to express my ideas from my mind to something can visualize, and when I do so, I feel a sense.

✓ It has allowed me to express the ideas in my mind into something that can be visualized, and when I do this, I feel a sense of satisfaction.

'It's allowed' should be 'it has allowed' (present perfect) and 'from my mind to something can visualize' is ungrammatical. Use 'express the ideas in my mind into something that can be visualized'. Also complete 'I feel a sense' with 'of satisfaction' to make the sentence meaningful.

× You know, I'm more interested in creative and active activities like trying origami and playing chess, whereas most of my family members prefer relaxing hobbies to share watching TV and reading newspapers.

✓ I'm more interested in creative and active activities like trying origami and playing chess, whereas most of my family members prefer relaxing hobbies such as watching TV and reading newspapers.

'To share watching TV' is incorrect. Use 'such as' or 'like' to introduce examples: 'prefer relaxing hobbies such as watching TV and reading newspapers.' Also remove 'you know' for conciseness.