Walking— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (like, um), correct repetitions, and add one brief reason with a linking word. Keep to 2–3 sentences and use more precise vocabulary (e.g., prefer not to walk, I find it tiring).

Ejemplo: I don't walk much. I prefer other activities because long walks make my thighs ache and leave me feeling exhausted.

Sugerencia: Improve structure and clarity: begin with a direct answer, then give a specific supporting detail with a linking word. Remove hesitations and correct tense/wording (e.g., ‘when I was a child’).

Ejemplo: No, I didn't. When I was a child I often played outside with friends, but I rarely went for walks because I didn’t enjoy walking.

Sugerencia: Give a clear topic sentence and two specific reasons with linking words (for example, because/therefore). Avoid repetition and fillers; use varied vocabulary (e.g., peaceful atmosphere, fresh air, greenery).

Ejemplo: People enjoy walking in parks because the peaceful atmosphere and greenery help them relax. In addition, the fresh air and open space make them feel refreshed and less stressed.

Sugerencia: Answer directly then give one or two concise reasons using linking words. Correct phrasing (e.g., ‘Hangang River’) and avoid repetition. Mention what you would enjoy about the walk (scenery, atmosphere).

Ejemplo: I would like to walk along the Hangang River in Seoul because it has long riverside paths and lovely views. I imagine the peaceful scenery and riverside cafés would make it an enjoyable long walk.

Sugerencia: Respond with a clear past reference and a concise reason. Use one linking word (because/so) and avoid hedging phrases (I would like to say). Be specific about frequency or distance to add content.

Ejemplo: Recently I walked to my academy, which is quite far from my home. I walk there regularly because it helps me stay healthy and saves money on transport.

× Not really, I'm not a really big fan of like walking because when I walk a lot my thighs hurt and I don't like the feeling of walking.

✓ Not really, I'm not a big fan of walking because when I walk a lot my thighs hurt and I don't like the feeling of it.

The student uses redundant quantifiers and fillers ('a really big fan of like walking', 'the feeling of walking'). Remove unnecessary 'a' before 'really big fan' and the filler 'like'; replace 'the feeling of walking' with 'the feeling of it' for naturalness. Suggestion: simplify and avoid filler words: 'I'm not a big fan of walking'.

× Most of the people say that they look free and fresh when they walk, but for me when I walk a lot I feel so exhausted so I don't really enjoy walking.

✓ Most people say that they look free and fresh when they walk, but when I walk a lot I feel exhausted, so I don't really enjoy walking.

'Most of the people' is wordy; use 'Most people'. Also streamline clauses and add comma before 'so'. Maintain subject-verb agreement and clearer sentence structure.

× Definitely not be a well back in my childhood I did go outdoors to play with my friends like hang out with my friends.

✓ Definitely not. Well, back in my childhood I did go outdoors to play and hang out with my friends.

Original contains ungrammatical fragment 'Definitely not be a well' and redundancy. Split into sentences, remove 'be a well', and use parallel verbs 'play and hang out' for clarity. Suggestion: keep simple past consistent for childhood activities.

× But I've never had an experience of going outdoors just for a walk because like I said I really hate walking and I hated walking back then also.

✓ But I've never had the experience of going outdoors just for a walk because, as I said, I really hated walking back then.

Use definite article 'the experience' for a specific experience. Avoid mixing present perfect 'I've never had' with present 'I really hate' when referring to past; change to past 'I really hated' to match 'back then'. Remove filler 'also' and 'like'.

× I think it's because of like the atmosphere, because like most of the people say that walking outdoors make them very calm and chill.

✓ I think it's because of the atmosphere, because most people say that walking outdoors makes them very calm and relaxed.

Remove filler 'like'. Use 'the atmosphere' (definite article) and correct verb agreement 'makes' for singular 'walking outdoors'. Replace informal 'chill' with 'relaxed' for register. Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement and avoid fillers.

× And yeah, I think it makes me, it makes them feel very fresh.

✓ And yeah, I think it makes them feel very refreshed.

Original repeats subjects and mixes 'me' and 'them', causing pronoun inconsistency. Use 'them' to match 'most people' from previous sentence, or say 'me' if referring to self. Also use 'refreshed' instead of 'fresh' to describe feeling.

× Maybe walk around hang on river? Hangang River is a river located in Seoul and it's a very long river and if I have a chance to walk outboards then I would like to walk around Hangang River.

✓ Maybe walk around the Hangang River. Hangang River is located in Seoul and it's very long, so if I had the chance I would like to walk along it.

Fix word order and articles: 'the Hangang River'. Remove awkward 'hang on river' and 'walk outboards'. Use conditional 'if I had the chance' (second conditional for hypothetical) and natural preposition 'along' for walking beside a river. Simplify repetition.

× Where did you go for a walk lately?

✓ Where did you go for a walk recently?

Question uses 'lately' which usually pairs with present perfect ('Have you gone anywhere lately?') but since the examiner used past simple 'did', 'recently' is a better adverb. Suggestion: either change auxiliary to 'have' for 'lately' or use 'recently' with 'did'.

× I would like to say the way to my Academy.

✓ I would say the way to my academy.

'Would like to say' is awkward here; 'I would say' is more natural when answering. Also 'Academy' need not be capitalized unless it's a proper name; use lowercase or the institution's proper name. Suggestion: Use concise responses.

× Like I said I really don't enjoy walking, but I do know that walking really helps me to keep healthy.

✓ Like I said, I don't really enjoy walking, but I know that walking helps me stay healthy.

'Do know' is unnecessary; simple present 'know' is sufficient. Use 'stay healthy' or 'keep me healthy' instead of 'keep healthy'. Maintain present tense for general truth.

× So to make sure not to be unhealthy I try to walk to my Academy because my Academy is very far away from my home.

✓ So to avoid becoming unhealthy, I try to walk to my academy because it is far from my home.

'Make sure not to be unhealthy' is awkward; use 'avoid becoming unhealthy'. Use 'walk to my academy' (no article change) and replace repetitive 'my Academy is very far away from my home' with concise 'it is far from my home'. Suggestion: use natural collocations ('avoid becoming unhealthy').