Travelling— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: 답변이 자연스럽고 내용 전개는 잘 되어 있으나 문법 오류(시제 일관성, 어순), 중복 표현, 불필요한 단어가 보입니다. 문장은 최대 5문장 이내로 유지하고 주제문을 먼저 제시한 뒤 연결어(for example, so, because)를 사용해 구체적 근거를 덧붙이세요. 또한 'I don't really watch smartphones' 같은 표현 대신 'I don't use my smartphone'처럼 자연스러운 표현을 사용하고, 듣는 음악과 풍경의 관계를 구체적으로 설명해 보세요.

Ejemplo: Yes, I enjoy looking out of the window when I travel by bus because it helps me relax. For example, I often turn off my smartphone and listen to calming music that matches the scenery. This combination makes the journey feel peaceful and enjoyable.

Sugerencia: 응답이 이해는 되지만 문법적 오류와 비논리적 흐름이 많습니다. 이유를 설명할 때는 명확한 연결어(because, so, therefore)를 사용하고 불필요한 반복과 주저하는 표현(uh, um)을 제거하세요. 예를 들어 창문에 얼룩이나 반사가 있어서 사진 품질이 좋지 않다는 점을 구체적으로 말하면 내용이 더 설득력 있어집니다.

Ejemplo: Not really. I usually avoid taking photos from a moving car because reflections and dirt on the window spoil the image. As a result, the pictures often look blurred or have dark spots.

Sugerencia: 아이디어는 좋지만 표현이 어색하고 일부 단어(AC person?)가 의미를 알기 어렵습니다. 선호 이유를 명확히 한 문장으로 제시하고, 이유별로 연결어(and, because, for example)를 활용해 구체적 설명을 추가하세요. 또한 불필요한 중복을 피하고 어휘를 정확하게 사용하세요(ex: 'I prefer the sea because I like seafood' 대신 'I prefer the seaside because I enjoy eating fresh seafood').

Ejemplo: I prefer the sea because I enjoy fresh seafood and relaxing by the shore. For example, I love watching the waves and the sunlight reflecting on the water, and I often build sandcastles with friends when I visit the beach.

× Yes, I do love watching scenery while traveling by bus.

✓ Yes, I love watching the scenery while traveling by bus.

The auxiliary 'do' is unnecessary with the stative verb 'love' in a simple present affirmative sentence. Also 'scenery' usually takes the definite article 'the' when referring to specific scenery outside. Suggestion: use 'I love' and 'the scenery' for natural English.

× Actually, I don't really watch smartphones when I'm traveling and I'm riding a vehicle because I love watching scenery outside.

✓ Actually, I don't really look at my smartphone when I'm traveling by vehicle because I love watching the scenery outside.

Use 'look at' or 'use' with 'smartphone', not 'watch smartphones'. 'I'm traveling and I'm riding a vehicle' is redundant; use 'traveling by vehicle' or 'riding in a vehicle'. Also use 'the scenery' for specific outside view.

× I listen to a wonderful song that matches what I see currently see outside and then I enjoy what I see.

✓ I listen to a wonderful song that matches what I currently see outside, and then I enjoy the view.

'currently see' has duplicate 'see'; use 'currently see' or better 'what I currently see'. Repetition 'enjoy what I see' is awkward—use 'enjoy the view'. Add a comma before 'and' joining clauses.

× Like, beautiful.

✓ It's beautiful.

Sentence fragment 'Like, beautiful.' is incomplete. Use a full sentence such as 'It's beautiful' or 'The scenery is beautiful' to express the idea.

× I don't really take lots of photo I see outside the window.

✓ I don't really take a lot of photos of what I see outside the window.

'lots of photo' is incorrect: use 'a lot of photos' or 'many photos'. Need plural 'photos' and preposition 'of' to connect 'photos' and 'what I see'. Add missing punctuation between clauses.

× It is because of the car.

✓ It's because of the motion of the car.

The original is vague. If intent is that the car's motion blurs photos, specify 'motion' or 'speed'. Contraction 'It's' is natural.

× There are lots of some uh black blacks dots over the window and it all it is all taken photo in my phone so I don't prefer taking them on the photo.

✓ There are a lot of small black dots on the window, and they show up in photos on my phone, so I prefer not to take pictures.

Original has redundancy and wrong word forms: 'lots of some' and 'black blacks dots' incorrect. Use 'a lot of small black dots' and 'on the window' (not 'over'). 'It all it is all taken photo in my phone' should be 'they show up in photos on my phone'. 'I don't prefer taking them on the photo' -> 'I prefer not to take pictures.'

× I'm more AC person because I love eating, uh, seafood.

✓ I'm more of an 'AC' person because I love eating seafood.

'more AC person' is missing 'of an' for this construction: 'more of an X person'. Also remove unnecessary commas. If 'AC' refers to 'air-conditioned', consider 'an air-conditioned person' or explain abbreviation.

× Also I love watching waves and beautiful sunshine that is uh, reflected on on the water.

✓ Also, I love watching the waves and the beautiful sunshine reflected on the water.

Add definite articles 'the' before 'waves' and 'beautiful sunshine' when referring to specific scenery. Remove duplicate 'on'. Use 'reflected' without 'is' for reduced relative clause.

× And also I love making sandcastles with my friend so I would prefer going to sea.

✓ I also love making sandcastles with my friends, so I would prefer going to the sea.

Use 'friends' plural if more than one; if singular, 'my friend' is fine but add comma before 'so'. 'Going to sea' is more natural as 'going to the sea' or 'going to the beach'. 'And also' is redundant; start with 'I also'.