Travelling— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: 문장이 자연스럽지 못한 반복과 어색한 표현이 있습니다. 주제문을 명확히 하고 불필요한 중복을 제거하세요. 연결어(for example, while, so)를 사용해 문장 간 흐름을 매끄럽게 하고 구체적 세부사항(어떤 장면이 인상적이었는지, 감정)을 추가하세요. 문장 수는 3~4문장으로 유지하세요.

Ejemplo: Yes, I often look out the window when travelling by bus or car because it helps me notice small details of the journey. For example, I enjoy watching the changing light on buildings and the patches of trees along the road while listening to music. Those simple scenes often make me feel calm and reflective before I arrive at my destination.

Sugerencia: 응답은 직접적이고 논리적이지만 반복과 어색한 표현(‘during the video with them’)이 있습니다. 이유와 대안(동영상) 제시는 좋습니다. 연결어(so, because, instead)와 구체적 예시(어떤 장면을 영상으로 남기는지)를 넣어 문장을 다듬으세요.

Ejemplo: No, I rarely take photos through a car window because the pictures usually come out blurry when the vehicle is moving. Instead, I prefer to record short videos of interesting scenes, such as a colourful sunset or a lively street market, so I can watch and share those moments with my friends later.

Sugerencia: 의견은 분명하지만 문법 오류(‘prefer sea as mountains’)와 어색한 표현이 있습니다. 비교 표현을 정확히 사용하고 이유를 더 구체적으로 제시하세요. 연결구문(while, because, so)으로 대조를 명확히 하고 문장 수를 3~4문장으로 압축하세요.

Ejemplo: I definitely prefer the sea to the mountains because I find the beach much more relaxing. While the mountains are full of wildlife and insects, which makes me a bit uneasy, the seaside offers gentle sounds and open views that help me reduce anxiety. For instance, I enjoy walking along the shore and listening to the waves when I need to unwind.

× Yes, I often look out the window while traveling with the bus and or the car.

✓ Yes, I often look out the window while traveling by bus or car.

Using 'with the bus' and 'with the car' is incorrect for means of transport; use the preposition 'by' before modes of transport. Also 'and or' is incorrect; choose 'or' to indicate alternatives. Suggestion: use 'by bus or car.'

× I feel like looking out the window is one of the ways to capture the moment before you arrive to the destination.

✓ I feel looking out the window is one of the ways to capture the moment before you arrive at your destination.

Use 'feel' + verb-ing is acceptable but 'feel like' plus clause is redundant; 'feel' + gerund clause is clearer. 'Arrive to' is incorrect preposition; use 'arrive at' for destinations. Also use 'your destination' for natural reference.

× I remember listening to music, listening to music and looking out the window, looking at the blue sky.

✓ I remember listening to music and looking out the window at the blue sky.

Repeating phrases makes the sentence awkward. Combine coordinated activities with 'and' and place the prepositional phrase 'at the blue sky' after 'window' for clarity. Simplify redundant repetition.

× It was really inspiring.

✓ It was really inspiring.

Sentence is grammatically correct; tense matches the past recollection. No change necessary.

× No, I don't think I really take photos of the scenery outside the car window as it's hard to capture the moment when the car is moving.

✓ No, I don't usually take photos of the scenery outside the car window because it's hard to capture the moment when the car is moving.

'Don't think I really take' is awkward; use 'don't usually take' to express frequency. Use 'because' instead of 'as' for clearer casual explanation. Overall improves naturalness.

× However, I do take videos to remember and enjoy that moment and share the moment with my friends during the video with them.

✓ However, I do take videos to remember and enjoy the moment and to share it with my friends.

Original has redundancy ('that moment' and 'the moment') and awkward phrase 'during the video with them.' Use 'to' plus verb to show purpose and replace repeated noun with pronoun 'it.'

× I definitely prefer sea as mountains.

✓ I definitely prefer the sea to the mountains.

When comparing, use 'prefer A to B.' Also 'sea' and 'mountains' usually take articles: 'the sea' and 'the mountains.' Use preposition 'to' for comparisons.

× There's a lot of creatures, living organisms such as insects or animals.

✓ There are a lot of creatures and other living organisms, such as insects and animals.

'There's' is singular contraction of 'there is' and conflicts with plural 'creatures'; use 'there are.' 'A lot of creatures, living organisms' needs clearer coordination with 'and other.' Use 'such as' with plural examples and 'and' not 'or.'

× I do love mammals but I'm scared of interacting with a lot of animals and also looking at the insects.

✓ I do love mammals, but I'm scared of interacting with many animals and of looking at insects.

'A lot of animals' is acceptable but 'many animals' is more natural when contrasting with 'mammals.' Use parallel structure 'scared of interacting...' and 'scared of looking...' Use comma before 'but.' Remove 'the' before 'insects' unless referring to specific insects.

× And sea is a really peaceful space where you could always get rid of the anxiety and relax.

✓ The sea is a really peaceful place where you can always get rid of anxiety and relax.

Use definite article 'the sea.' 'Space' is odd; 'place' is more natural. Use 'can' instead of 'could' for general truth. Omit 'the' before 'anxiety' unless specific; 'get rid of anxiety' is idiomatic.