Perfume— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: ปรับให้ตอบตรงประเด็นและเป็นธรรมชาติมากขึ้น ลดคำอึ่ง/คำเติม (uhm, like) และจัดประโยคให้ชัดเจน ใช้ประโยคหัวข้อแล้วตามด้วยรายละเอียดสั้น ๆ เช่น บอกประเภทที่ชอบและเหตุผล รวมถึงตัวอย่างหนึ่งถึงสองชิ้นเพื่อเฉพาะเจาะจง

Ejemplo: I like perfume, especially fresh and fruity scents because they feel light and pleasant. For example, I often wear a citrus-based perfume in the morning because it helps me feel refreshed.

Sugerencia: ปรับความชัดเจนของความหมายและไวยากรณ์ แก้การใช้คำไม่ถูกต้อง (เช่น used perfumed) และลดคำซ้ำ ใช้ linking words เช่น 'because' หรือ 'so' เพื่ออธิบายเหตุผลอย่างเป็นระบบ พร้อมยกตัวอย่างที่ชัดเจนและกระชับ

Ejemplo: I don't usually wear perfume every day because it can be overpowering in public places. For example, in classrooms or on public transport a strong scent might bother other people, so I prefer to skip it.

Sugerencia: ลดการพึมพำและเติมคำซ้ำ (uh, I mean) เริ่มด้วยประโยคตรง ๆ แล้วอธิบายเหตุผลให้สั้นและชัดเจน ระบุคนประเภทที่คุณจะซื้อให้และสภาพสังคม/วัฒนธรรมอย่างชัดเจน เพื่อเพิ่มความน่าเชื่อถือ

Ejemplo: I would buy perfume as a gift for someone special, such as a close friend or a family member, because in my country good perfumes are expensive. For instance, I might give it to a colleague who has just received a promotion.

Sugerencia: โครงสร้างดีที่เริ่มด้วย 'depends' แต่ต้องปรับไวยากรณ์และคำเชื่อม ลดคำเติม (uh) และให้ตัวอย่างหรือการเปรียบเทียบที่ชัดเจน เช่น ราคาประมาณเท่าไหร่หรือยี่ห้อระดับต่าง ๆ เพื่อเพิ่มความเฉพาะเจาะจง

Ejemplo: It depends on the brand and quality. Mass-market perfumes sold in convenience stores are usually affordable, but designer or artisan perfumes made by specialists can be very expensive, sometimes costing hundreds of dollars.

× Do you like perfume?

✓ Do you like perfume?

The article 'the' is unnecessary before uncountable noun 'perfume' in this general question. Remove 'the' to make the question natural: 'Do you like perfume?'

× Well it depends what kind of perfume, if it's fresh or like umm, fruity scents.

✓ Well, it depends on what kind of perfume it is, whether it's fresh or fruity.

Use the preposition 'on' with 'depends' (depends on). Avoid mixing clause structures; use 'whether' for alternatives. 'Like' is filler and can be removed; 'fruity scents' redundant after 'fruity'.

× I do like it a lot.

✓ I do like it a lot.

This sentence is grammatically correct; subject-verb agreement is fine. No change required.

× On top of that I have like many collections of perfumes in my home.

✓ On top of that, I have many perfume collections at home.

'Collections' can remain plural but 'collections of perfumes' is wordy; 'perfume collections' is more natural. Use 'at home' instead of 'in my home' for common phrasing. Remove filler 'like'.

× Most of the time I don't think that I use perfume, I think that it is inappropriate that used perfumed.

✓ Most of the time I don't use perfume; I think it is inappropriate to wear perfume.

Incorrect verb forms: 'don't think that I use' is wordy—use 'don't use'. 'Inappropriate that used perfumed' is ungrammatical; use infinitive 'to wear perfume' or 'to use perfume'.

× For example, when you walk past someone and they could smell the perfume from your teacher, it would be really bad because you give like the bad reputations to them.

✓ For example, if you walk past someone and they can smell perfume on you, it would be really bad because it gives them a bad impression.

Use conditional 'if' for examples. 'Could' changed to 'can' for general truth. 'Smell the perfume from your teacher' is unclear—use 'smell perfume on you'. 'Give the bad reputations to them' is incorrect; use 'give them a bad impression'.

× MMM Honestly, I think that I would buy perfume for, uh, for, for someone who I think that they deserve it because in my country perfume is really expensive and it is only reserved for one who work in the office.

✓ Honestly, I would buy perfume for someone I think deserves it because in my country perfume is very expensive and is usually reserved for people who work in offices.

Remove fillers. Use 'would' appropriately for hypothetical. 'Someone who I think that they deserve it' is redundant; use 'someone I think deserves it'. 'Reserved for one who work' has subject-verb agreement and article errors—use 'people who work in offices'.

× If you work in a, I mean.

✓ If you work in an office, I mean.

Fragmentary sentence; complete the thought. Use 'an office' with correct article and remove hesitation.

× Well, it depends on what kind of perfume.

✓ Well, it depends on what kind of perfume it is.

Add copula 'it is' to complete the clause and make the sentence grammatical.

× If it's a normal perfume that could be sold at like convenience store, I don't think that is it as expensive as you think.

✓ If it's a normal perfume that could be sold at a convenience store, I don't think it is as expensive as you think.

Missing article 'a' before 'convenience store'. Remove filler 'like'. Fix word order 'I don't think it is as expensive as you think'.

× But if it's like was made by, uh, someone who is specialized in making perfume, it would be really expensive.

✓ But if it was made by someone who specializes in making perfume, it would be very expensive.

Remove filler. Use past simple 'was made' with correct subject 'it'. Use 'specializes' (simple present) or 'a specialist in making perfume'; 'specialized in' needs passive or adjective form. 'Very expensive' is more natural than 'really expensive' in formal correction.