Dreams— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: 문법과 문장 연결을 개선하세요. 답변은 직접적인 주제문으로 시작하고, 추가 정보를 연결어로 자연스럽게 이어야 합니다. 시제와 주어-동사 일치, 불필요한 단어(예: "At the point")를 고치고 문장을 3~4문장으로 간결하게 만드세요. 더 구체적으로 누구의 어떤 업적이 본인에게 영감을 주었는지 설명하면 좋습니다.

Ejemplo: Yes, I can remember them. When I was young I wanted to become a scientist because I admired innovators like Elon Musk. He inspired me by creating technologies that changed daily life, so I dreamed of doing something similarly impactful.

Sugerencia: 표현을 명확하게 정리하세요. 현재 답변은 문법 오류와 어색한 어휘(예: "cosplay the dreams jobs", "taking taking")가 많아 이해가 어렵습니다. 경험을 구체적으로 서술하되, 연결어를 사용해 문장들을 논리적으로 이어 주세요. 예: 언제, 누구와, 어떻게 공유했는지 순서대로 말하세요.

Ejemplo: Yes, I often share my dreams with my friends at school. For example, when we took photos for our graduation album, I dressed up to represent the job I dreamed of having. It made me happy to talk about my future plans with them.

Sugerencia: 의미를 더 명확하고 구체적으로 설명하세요. 현재 답변은 추상적이고 문장이 끊겨 있어 전달력이 약합니다. 주제문을 제시한 뒤 이유를 1~2개 구체적으로 제시하고 연결어로 연결하세요. 예: 꿈은 동기부여가 되기 때문에 삶에 중요하다고 설명할 수 있습니다.

Ejemplo: Yes, I think dreams have special meaning because they give people goals and motivation. For instance, having a dream helps you plan your studies and career, and it makes life more purposeful.

Sugerencia: 명확한 주장과 이유를 간결하게 제시하세요. 현재 문장은 혼란스럽고 불필요한 질문(‘Famous or beautiful?’)이 포함되어 있습니다. 자신의 의지를 먼저 말한 뒤 구체적인 방법이나 계획을 한두 문장으로 덧붙이세요.

Ejemplo: Definitely. I want to make my dreams come true, so I plan to study hard and gain practical experience in research. By taking small steps like internships and projects, I hope to reach my long-term goal.

× Yes, I do. When I was young. I want to be a scientist.

✓ Yes, I do. When I was young, I wanted to be a scientist.

The sentence mixes present and past tenses incorrectly. 'When I was young' sets a past-time context, so 'want' should be past tense 'wanted' to match. Use consistent tense: 'When I was young, I wanted to be a scientist.' Suggestion: Use past tense verbs when describing past desires or situations.

× Like Elon Musk, he changed the world by himself.

✓ Like Elon Musk, he changed the world on his own.

Using both 'Like Elon Musk' and 'he' is acceptable, but 'by himself' is informal and can be improved to 'on his own.' Also consider removing the pronoun repetition: 'Like Elon Musk, I wanted to change the world.' Suggestion: For clarity, avoid redundant pronouns and choose natural phrasing such as 'on his own' or rephrase to express the comparison.

× At the point, I want to be the scientist to change the world.

✓ At that point, I wanted to be a scientist who could change the world.

The phrase 'At the point' is unnatural; 'At that point' or 'At that time' is correct. The sentence refers to a past time, so use past tense 'wanted.' Also 'the scientist' implies a specific known scientist; 'a scientist' is more appropriate and 'who could change the world' clarifies intent. Suggestion: Match tense to the time reference and use appropriate articles.

× Yes, I use it to share my dreams with my friends at school.

✓ Yes, I used to share my dreams with my friends at school.

'Use it to share' is unclear and 'When I was young' context indicates past habit, so 'used to' is appropriate. If speaking about current habit, say 'I share my dreams with my friends at school.' Suggestion: Choose 'used to' for past habitual actions or present simple for current habits.

× Once taking taking a photo of the graduate albums.

✓ Once I took a photo for the graduation album.

The phrase 'Once taking taking' is ungrammatical and has a repeated word. Use a full clause 'Once I took a photo' and correct noun choice 'graduation album.' Suggestion: Use subject + verb structure and correct noun forms.

× I cosplay the dreams jobs.

✓ I cosplayed the jobs I dreamed about.

'Cosplay' as a verb needs past tense to match past context: 'cosplayed.' 'The dreams jobs' is ungrammatical; rephrase to 'the jobs I dreamed about' or 'dream jobs.' Suggestion: Use correct noun phrase order: 'dream jobs' or 'jobs I dreamed about.'

× It is happy to me.

✓ It made me happy.

'It is happy to me' is unnatural; experiences 'make' someone happy, so use 'made me happy' for past context or 'makes me happy' for general truth. 'To me' is not correct here. Suggestion: Use 'make/made + object + adjective' pattern: 'It made me happy.'

× Yes, dreams are the final purpose of the life.

✓ Yes, dreams are the ultimate purpose of life.

'The final purpose of the life' is wordy and includes an unnecessary article. 'Ultimate purpose of life' is idiomatic. Drop 'the' before 'life.' Suggestion: Use concise expressions: 'the ultimate purpose of life.'

× Two people.

✓ They vary from person to person.

'Two people.' is a fragment and does not convey a clear idea. Likely intended meaning is that dreams differ between people. Use a full sentence: 'They vary from person to person.' Suggestion: Avoid sentence fragments; provide a subject and verb to complete the thought.

× It is important to people to live.

✓ They are important for people to live by.

Original is ungrammatical and unclear. If meant that dreams are important for people, rephrase: 'Dreams are important for people to live by' or 'They are important for people's lives.' Suggestion: Use clear subject reference and correct prepositional phrase.

× Definitely, every people want to make their dreams come true because it is dream.

✓ Definitely, everyone wants to make their dreams come true because dreams matter.

'Every people' is incorrect; use 'everyone' or 'every person.' Subject-verb agreement: 'everyone wants' (singular form with -s). 'It is dream' is unclear; replace with 'dreams matter' or 'a dream is important.' Suggestion: Use 'everyone' with singular verb and plural possessive 'their' is acceptable; clarify the final clause with a meaningful phrase.