Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear and relevant, but it can be more natural and concise. Avoid repeating similar ideas and try to use linking words to connect your points smoothly. Also, try to vary your vocabulary a bit more.

例: I am self-employed and run my own boutique since 2019. It provides a steady income and allows me to express my creativity by designing new styles for my customers.

提案: Your answer has some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Try to use correct prepositions and sentence structures. Also, avoid redundancy and use linking words to make your answer coherent.

例: I rent a shop about five kilometers from my house. It is convenient for both me and my customers because the area has all necessary facilities nearby.

提案: Your answer is somewhat repetitive and lacks coherence. Try to use linking words like 'for example' or 'also' to connect your ideas. Also, avoid vague phrases like 'each and everything' and be more specific.

例: Yes, it is a great place to work because there are many facilities nearby, such as cafes, which make breaks enjoyable. Moreover, the shop is neat and clean, providing a comfortable environment.

提案: Your answer has grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing. Try to use correct sentence structures and word order. Also, avoid redundancy and use linking words to improve coherence.

例: Yes, I love working here. I have been at this place for three years, and it is quiet and convenient, allowing me to work without any disturbance.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to organize your ideas logically using linking words like 'because' or 'so that'. Also, avoid repetition and be more specific about your plans.

例: I plan to go abroad to gain more knowledge and brighten my future. Working there will help me learn about different cultures and improve my communication skills by interacting with diverse people.

× I rent a shop in my vicinity which is located far 5 kilometer away from my house.

✓ I rent a shop in my vicinity which is located 5 kilometers far away from my house.

The phrase 'far 5 kilometer away' is incorrect. The correct prepositional phrase is '5 kilometers far away' or better '5 kilometers away'. Also, 'kilometer' should be plural as it refers to a distance greater than one.

× It is a convenient place for me and my customers to reach my shop because there are all the facilities are available around my shop.

✓ It is a convenient place for me and my customers to reach my shop because all the facilities are available around my shop.

The sentence has redundant use of 'are' in 'there are all the facilities are available'. The correct structure is either 'there are all the facilities' or 'all the facilities are available'. Here, 'all the facilities are available' is appropriate.

× Yes, definitely it is the best place to work because all the facilities are available around my shop such as cafe shops and I can get each and everything during my work and it is a neat and clean place.

✓ Yes, definitely it is the best place to work because all the facilities are available around my shop such as cafes, and I can get everything I need during my work. It is a neat and clean place.

The phrase 'each and everything' is informal and awkward; 'everything I need' is clearer. Also, 'cafe shops' is better expressed as 'cafes'. The sentence was long and needed to be split for clarity.

× I love the place where I am working. I have been working here since three years and it is a convenient and less environment quiet place for me to work without any disturbance.

✓ I love the place where I am working. I have been working here for three years and it is a convenient and quiet environment for me to work without any disturbance.

The phrase 'since three years' is incorrect; 'for three years' is used with durations. 'Less environment quiet place' is incorrect word order and usage; it should be 'quiet environment'. The sentence needed reordering for clarity.

× Well, I have planned to go to abroad for my for getting more knowledge and making my future bright and I will be able to learn information about the culture of other country while doing work there.

✓ Well, I have planned to go abroad to gain more knowledge and make my future bright, and I will be able to learn about the culture of other countries while working there.

The phrase 'go to abroad' is incorrect; 'go abroad' is correct. 'For my for getting' is redundant and incorrect; 'to gain' is better. 'Other country' should be plural 'other countries' to generalize. 'Doing work' is better as 'working'.

× And I think I you can also get a chance to work and communicate with other people.

✓ And I think you can also get a chance to work and communicate with other people.

The phrase 'I you' is incorrect; it should be just 'you'. This is a pronoun misuse causing confusion.