Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant, but it could be more concise and avoid some redundancy. Try to limit your response to 4-5 sentences and use linking words to improve coherence.

例: I used to work as a teacher at a local school, but currently, I'm taking a break to focus on personal growth. However, I plan to return soon because I truly enjoy teaching. It allows me to share knowledge and help students develop, which is very rewarding.

提案: Your answer is relevant but somewhat repetitive and lacks linking words. Try to combine ideas smoothly and add more specific details about your previous workplace or the skills you want to develop.

例: Currently, I am not working as I am taking a break to focus on personal development. Previously, I worked as a teacher at a local school, where I gained valuable experience. During this break, I am improving my teaching skills and exploring new opportunities in education.

提案: Your answer has good points but contains some grammatical errors and unclear phrases. Avoid redundancy and be careful with word choice (e.g., 'helping other men learn' seems off). Use linking words to connect ideas logically.

例: Yes, I believe teaching is a great profession because it provides a supportive and flexible environment. It is especially suitable for people who enjoy helping others learn. Overall, the positive atmosphere makes it an ideal workplace for both men and women.

提案: Your answer is understandable but lacks fluency and contains some awkward phrasing. Try to use more natural expressions and avoid listing people without clear structure. Also, limit the answer to 4-5 sentences.

例: Yes, I really like the atmosphere at my workplace. It is flexible and comfortable, and my colleagues, including the principal and coordinators, are very friendly and supportive. I feel lucky to work in such a positive environment.

提案: Your answer is unclear and incomplete, with many hesitations and grammatical errors. Try to prepare a clear and concise response, avoid filler words, and complete your thoughts fully.

例: At the moment, I don't have definite plans, but I am interested in starting a women's business. I have recently begun working on this project, which I hope will empower women in my community.

× Since teaching is a passion is my passion, I find it for rewarding and suitable for people who enjoy helping other men learn.

✓ Since teaching is my passion, I find it rewarding and suitable for people who enjoy helping others learn.

The original sentence contains redundant and incorrect pronoun usage ('is a passion is my passion') and an incorrect phrase 'helping other men learn' which should be 'helping others learn' to be more general and grammatically correct.

× I like my job atmosphere because it's a very flexible, very comfortable with me and my vice ma'am, my principal, Sir, my coordinator and everyone is very cooperating and very friendly.

✓ I like my job atmosphere because it's very flexible and very comfortable for me, and my vice ma'am, my principal, Sir, my coordinator, and everyone are very cooperative and very friendly.

The original sentence misuses pronouns and prepositions ('comfortable with me' should be 'comfortable for me') and has subject-verb agreement issues ('everyone is very cooperating' should be 'everyone are very cooperative'). Also, 'cooperating' should be the adjective 'cooperative'.

× I have a join in woman, uh, business, uh, and uh, I started a woman business.

✓ I have joined a women's business, and I have started a women's business.

The original sentence is unclear and contains incorrect verb usage ('have a join in') and incorrect noun phrase ('woman business' should be 'women's business'). The correction clarifies the intended meaning and corrects verb and noun usage.