Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答は簡潔で自然ですが、もう少し具体的にどのような仕事をしているかを述べると良いでしょう。例えば、職種や業界について触れることで内容が豊かになります。

例: I'm currently working as a policy analyst in the government sector.

提案: 場所の説明は良いですが、'Casa Migaseki'の説明が少し不明瞭です。もう少し詳しく説明し、文の流れをスムーズにするために接続詞を使うと良いでしょう。

例: I work for the government at Casa Migaseki, which is a government office complex located in Tokyo.

提案: 回答が途中で終わっており、内容が不明瞭です。理由を明確に述べ、文を完結させることが必要です。また、'uh'などのフィラーは避け、論理的な接続詞を使いましょう。

例: Yes, I think it is a good place to work because many public servants work there, and there are plenty of restaurants nearby where we can relax during breaks.

提案: 文法的に不自然な部分があり、意味が伝わりにくいです。'reconstructed'の使い方や文の構成を見直し、より明確に表現しましょう。

例: Yes, I like this place because my office has been recently renovated, so it is very clean. Also, when I feel tired, I can take a walk in the nearby park.

提案: 内容は良いですが、文法ミスや冗長な表現があります。'specific a plan'は誤りで、'kind of the like a beginner'も不自然です。より正確で簡潔な表現を心がけましょう。

例: I don't have a specific plan yet, but I would like to gain more experience in the renewable energy field. Currently, I am involved in renewable energy policy making, and as a beginner, I want to learn more.

× there are a lot of buildings and many, uh, public servants all live working there.

✓ there are a lot of buildings and many, uh, public servants all living and working there.

The phrase 'live working' is incorrect because two verbs cannot be used consecutively without proper conjunction or form. The correct form is to use the '-ing' form for both verbs connected by 'and' to indicate simultaneous actions: 'living and working'. This improves sentence clarity and grammatical correctness.

× Also there are a lot of restaurants, so when we feel refreshed I.

✓ Also, there are a lot of restaurants, so when we feel refreshed, I go there.

The original sentence is incomplete and lacks a main verb after 'I'. Adding 'go there' completes the sentence and clarifies the intended meaning. Additionally, commas are added after 'Also' and 'refreshed' to improve readability.

× Yes, I like this place because my office is currently, uh, reconstructed.

✓ Yes, I like this place because my office is currently, uh, being reconstructed.

The verb 'reconstructed' needs to be in the passive continuous form 'being reconstructed' to indicate an ongoing action affecting the office. The original sentence incorrectly uses the past participle without the auxiliary verb, which changes the meaning.

× We formed so it is so clean and when I feel tired we can go for a walk to the park.

✓ It was formed so it is so clean, and when I feel tired, I can go for a walk to the park.

The phrase 'We formed' is incorrect because the subject 'we' does not match the action of forming the office. It should be 'It was formed' referring to the office being formed or renovated. Also, 'we can go' is inconsistent with 'I feel tired'; it should be 'I can go' to maintain subject consistency.

× I don't have the specific a plan, however I would like to experience more and more in renewable energy field.

✓ I don't have a specific plan; however, I would like to gain more experience in the renewable energy field.

The article usage is incorrect: 'the specific a plan' is redundant and ungrammatical. It should be 'a specific plan'. Also, 'experience more and more in renewable energy field' is awkward; 'gain more experience in the renewable energy field' is clearer and grammatically correct. Additionally, a semicolon and commas improve sentence flow.

× I'm currently contributing to the renewable energy policy making and I'm kind of the like a beginner of that, so I like to experience more.

✓ I'm currently contributing to renewable energy policymaking, and I'm kind of like a beginner in that, so I would like to gain more experience.

The phrase 'the like a beginner of that' is incorrect; it should be 'like a beginner in that'. Also, 'policy making' is better written as 'policymaking' (one word). 'I like to experience more' is awkward; 'I would like to gain more experience' is more natural and grammatically correct.