Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is informative but a bit long and slightly repetitive. Try to make your response more concise and avoid repeating phrases. Also, correct minor grammar issues such as 'I work I'm working' to 'I am working'.

例: Currently, I am both studying for a Master's in Chemical Engineering at Lakehead University and working as a cashier at Safeway.

提案: Avoid repeating phrases like 'As I said before' and 'stores store'. Also, try to make your sentences clearer and more grammatically correct. Use linking words to improve flow.

例: I have been working at a Safeway store for about seven months, and I really enjoy it there.

提案: Your answer is positive and clear, but try to use more varied vocabulary and improve sentence structure. For example, replace 'really good' with 'pleasant' or 'welcoming'. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: Absolutely, Safeway offers a friendly and welcoming atmosphere. Moreover, I have many kind colleagues who have always been very supportive.

提案: Try to avoid filler words like 'uh' and 'you know'. Also, correct grammar mistakes such as 'a Safeway' to 'Safeway' and 'job, places' to 'job I've had'. Make your answer more concise and structured.

例: Definitely, Safeway is my first job in Canada, and I really like it. It feels like a second home to me.

提案: Avoid filler words and repetition. Also, be more specific and clear in your answer. Use linking words to connect your ideas logically.

例: Since I am studying chemical engineering, I plan to work as a process engineer in a large company. Additionally, I am interested in specializing in wastewater treatment.

× I work I'm working as a cashier at Safer Safeway store.

✓ I am working as a cashier at Safeway store.

The original sentence incorrectly combines the simple present 'I work' and present continuous 'I'm working' without proper conjunction or punctuation. The correct form is to use the present continuous 'I am working' to indicate the current ongoing action. Also, 'Safer Safeway store' seems to be a typo; 'Safeway store' is correct.

× I now I've been working at Safeway stores store for about 7 months and actually I really like there.

✓ I have now been working at Safeway store for about 7 months and actually I really like it there.

The phrase 'Safeway stores store' is redundant; it should be singular 'Safeway store'. Also, 'I now I've been working' is awkward; 'I have now been working' is clearer. Additionally, 'like there' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'like it there' to refer to the place.

× I have lots of friends there that almost all of us are really kind and always helped me a lot.

✓ I have lots of friends there; almost all of them are really kind and have always helped me a lot.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'that' to refer to people; 'them' is appropriate. Also, 'always helped me' should be in present perfect 'have always helped me' to indicate ongoing assistance. The sentence structure is improved by separating into two clauses with a semicolon.

× Completely yes, because a Safeway is my first uh, job, places that I've ever had in uh, Canada.

✓ Absolutely yes, because Safeway is the first job I've ever had in Canada.

The article 'a' before 'Safeway' is incorrect; 'Safeway' as a proper noun does not need an article here. 'Job, places' is incorrect; 'job' alone suffices. The phrase is simplified for clarity and correctness.

× I would like to work as a process engineer in a big company and, uh, I, and I also would like to, uh, work on water waste, uh, treatment.

✓ I would like to work as a process engineer in a big company and I would also like to work in wastewater treatment.

The phrase 'work on water waste treatment' is awkward; the correct term is 'work in wastewater treatment'. Also, removing filler words and correcting conjunctions improves clarity.