Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is a bit unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to give a direct response first, then add relevant details clearly and concisely. Avoid redundancy and ensure correct sentence structure.

例: I am currently a student at Happy Child Senior Secondary College of Nursing. I have recently completed my graduation there. The college is well equipped, and the teachers are very supportive of their students.

提案: Your answer is somewhat confusing and lacks clarity. Respond directly to the question first, then add details logically using linking words. Also, correct grammar and sentence structure will improve clarity.

例: I am not working at the moment because I am still a student. However, I plan to work in the nursing field in the future. Currently, I am preparing to study abroad in the USA for higher education and to gain financial stability.

提案: Your answer is repetitive and lacks coherence. Try to answer directly and avoid repeating the same idea. Use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

例: I have not worked yet, so I cannot say for sure. However, I hope to work in a hospital or nursing home in the USA in the future, which I believe will be a good place to work.

提案: Your answer is positive but contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Use correct vocabulary and sentence structure, and avoid vague terms like 'various settings'.

例: Yes, I would like the place where I work because the staff are passionate and maintain good relationships with patients and colleagues. The workplace is well furnished and equipped with modern facilities.

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and repetitive. Try to express your ideas clearly and avoid repeating phrases. Also, explain abbreviations like IPR for clarity.

例: I have several future plans, but one important goal is to gain work experience in a hospital. I want to help patients recover quickly by maintaining good interpersonal relationships with them.

× the teacher studying their student are

✓ the teachers studying their students are

The sentence has a singular/plural mismatch. 'Teacher' should be plural 'teachers' to match 'their students', which is plural. Also, 'student' should be plural 'students' to agree with 'their'. This correction ensures subject and object agreement in number.

× I currently doing aisles and want to study abroad in the USA for my higher education and to get enough money

✓ I am currently doing aisles and want to study abroad in the USA for my higher education and to earn enough money

The sentence lacks the auxiliary verb 'am' before 'doing' which is necessary for the present continuous tense. Also, 'get' is better replaced with 'earn' when referring to money in this context. This correction improves verb tense and word choice.

× in future I definitely work in a nursing field

✓ in the future I will definitely work in the nursing field

The sentence is missing the modal verb 'will' to indicate future intention. Adding 'will' correctly expresses the future tense. Also, 'in future' should be 'in the future' and 'a nursing field' is better as 'the nursing field' for specificity.

× If I work in the future in the USA, that will be any hospital or any nursing home

✓ If I work in the future in the USA, it will be at a hospital or a nursing home

The sentence incorrectly uses 'that will be any hospital'. 'It will be at a hospital' is the correct structure. Also, 'any' is replaced with 'a' to indicate a nonspecific but singular place. This correction improves modal verb and article usage.

× I currently doing aisles

✓ I am currently doing aisles

The sentence is missing the auxiliary verb 'am' for the present continuous tense. 'Doing' requires 'am' to form the correct tense.

× this stuff is very passionate and maintains good interpersonal relationship with every patient as well as with nursing staff

✓ this staff is very passionate and maintains good interpersonal relationships with every patient as well as with the nursing staff

'Stuff' is incorrect; the correct word is 'staff' meaning personnel. Also, 'relationship' should be plural 'relationships' because it refers to multiple patients. Adding 'the' before 'nursing staff' specifies the group.

× The place I work is well furnished and equipped with various settings

✓ The place where I work is well furnished and equipped with various facilities

'Settings' is incorrect here; 'facilities' is the appropriate plural noun to describe equipment or amenities. Also, adding 'where' improves sentence clarity.

× There are several future plans but I would like to talk about one plan that I pursue in future definitely is get a work experience in hospital settings whereas I will I will help the patient to recover quickly by maintaining good IPR with them

✓ There are several future plans, but I would like to talk about one plan that I will definitely pursue in the future, which is to get work experience in hospital settings where I will help patients recover quickly by maintaining good interpersonal relationships with them

The original sentence has multiple structural errors including missing modal verbs, incorrect word order, and unclear pronouns. Adding 'will' expresses future intention, 'to get' is the correct infinitive form, 'where' replaces 'whereas' for location, and 'patients' is plural to match context. 'IPR' is expanded to 'interpersonal relationships' for clarity.