Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to avoid repeating words like 'currently' and make your answer more concise and natural. Also, add a linking phrase to connect your ideas smoothly.

例: I am currently a student at POA, where I am pursuing a degree in computer science.

提案: Use correct prepositions and grammar, and avoid redundancy. Instead of repeating 'I work', combine your sentences and be more specific.

例: I have a part-time job at a small coffee shop near the university.

提案: Avoid repeating phrases like 'huge effort or too much effort'. Use more natural expressions and improve sentence structure for clarity.

例: I think it's a good place to work because the job isn't too demanding, and I earn enough money to help pay my university fees.

提案: Be careful with prepositions and avoid repetition. Also, clarify unclear phrases like 'I like my PE'. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I like the place where I work because it is located in front of the sea, offering a beautiful view. Many customers know me, so I have made a lot of friends there.

提案: Avoid repetition and improve grammar. Use linking words to organize your ideas clearly and be more specific about your plans.

例: My future plan is to travel to Germany to study for a master's degree in computer science. After that, I hope to find a full-time job that pays well.

× I currently study a computer science degree.

✓ I am currently studying a computer science degree.

The sentence describes an ongoing action, so the present continuous tense 'am studying' is appropriate instead of the simple present 'study'.

× I work in a small coffee near to the university.

✓ I work in a small coffee shop near the university.

The phrase 'near to' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'near'. Also, 'coffee' should be 'coffee shop' to specify the place of work.

× I work as a part time job.

✓ I work part-time.

The phrase 'work as a part time job' is incorrect. 'Part-time' is an adjective or adverb describing the work, so 'I work part-time' is correct.

× I think it's a good place to work as they didn't need a huge effort or too much effort and you can get a good money from it to help you for your university fees.

✓ I think it's a good place to work because it doesn't require a lot of effort and you can earn good money from it to help with your university fees.

The pronoun 'they' incorrectly refers to 'place'; it should be 'it'. Also, 'didn't need' should be present tense 'doesn't require' to match the context. 'A good money' is incorrect; 'good money' is uncountable and does not need 'a'. 'Help you for' should be 'help with'.

× It's on in, on front of in front of the sea.

✓ It's in front of the sea.

The phrase contains redundant and incorrect prepositions. The correct phrase is 'in front of the sea'.

× I like my PE, my work.

✓ I like my job, my work.

'PE' is unclear and likely a mistake; 'job' is the correct word to refer to work in this context.

× My my future work plans is I am aiming now to travel abroad to Germany and to Germany and they study a master degree there in computer science and then we get a full time job to get a good money.

✓ My future work plans are that I am aiming to travel abroad to Germany to study a master's degree in computer science and then get a full-time job to earn good money.

The subject 'plans' is plural, so the verb should be 'are' not 'is'. 'Master degree' should be 'master's degree'. 'They study' is incorrect; it should be 'to study'. 'We get' should be 'to get' to maintain parallel structure. 'Full time job' should be hyphenated as 'full-time job'. 'Get a good money' is incorrect; 'earn good money' is appropriate.