Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more natural and concise. Avoid filler words like 'uh' and correct grammatical errors such as 'I was worked' to 'I worked'. Also, structure your answer with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details using linking words.

例: I am a school teacher with over ten years of experience. Initially, I worked in private schools, but a few years ago, I joined a central government school.

提案: Make your sentences grammatically correct and more coherent. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid sentence fragments. For example, combine short sentences and correct verb forms.

例: I work as a teacher in a school, which has been my passion since childhood. I really enjoy teaching because it allows me to contribute to the growth and future of children.

提案: Reduce filler words and improve fluency. Use linking words like 'because' and 'moreover' effectively. Also, try to vary your vocabulary and avoid repetition, for example, instead of repeating 'uh' and 'very', use synonyms or omit unnecessary words.

例: Yes, it is an ideal place to work because the administration is very supportive and always willing to help with any issues. Moreover, my colleagues are friendly and cooperative. The best part is that the institute allows me the freedom to complete my tasks at my own pace and in my own style.

提案: Avoid filler words and improve sentence structure. Use correct tense, for example, 'I have been working there for five years'. Also, avoid repetition by combining similar ideas and use linking words for coherence.

例: Yes, I like the place where I work. I have been working there for the last five years. It is a government institution that provides me the opportunity to complete my tasks at my own pace and style. Additionally, the administration is very supportive, and my colleagues are cooperative.

提案: Improve fluency by avoiding repetition and grammatical errors. Use linking words like 'besides that' correctly and clarify your ideas with specific details. For example, explain what kind of administrative role you want and how it will help children.

例: In the future, I would like to sharpen my teaching skills. Besides that, I aim to join the school administration so that I can help resolve issues that hinder the growth of children.

× I have a more than a 10 years of experience, uh, of working as a teacher.

✓ I have more than 10 years of experience working as a teacher.

The phrase 'a more than a 10 years of experience' is incorrect because 'years' is plural and should not be preceded by 'a'. Also, 'more than' does not require an article before it. The correct form is 'more than 10 years of experience'.

× Uh, earlier I was worked with private schools, but a few years back I joined central government school.

✓ Uh, earlier I worked with private schools, but a few years back I joined a central government school.

The phrase 'was worked' is incorrect because 'worked' is a past tense verb and does not need 'was' before it. The correct past tense form is 'I worked'. Also, 'central government school' needs an article 'a' before it.

× I really enjoying teaching and contributing in the growth of children and shaping their future.

✓ I really enjoy teaching and contributing to the growth of children and shaping their future.

The verb 'enjoying' is incorrectly used in present continuous tense here; the simple present 'enjoy' is appropriate to express a general truth or habit. Also, the preposition 'in' should be 'to' after 'contributing'. Thus, 'I really enjoy teaching and contributing to the growth of children and shaping their future.'

× I really enjoying teaching and contributing in the growth of children and shaping their future.

✓ I really enjoy teaching and contributing to the growth of children and shaping their future.

The preposition 'in' is incorrectly used after 'contributing'. The correct preposition is 'to' when referring to contributing towards something.

× I joined central government school.

✓ I joined a central government school.

The noun phrase 'central government school' is singular and countable, so it requires the indefinite article 'a' before it.

× I'm working there since last five years.

✓ I've been working there for the last five years.

The present continuous tense 'I'm working' is incorrect with 'since last five years'. The present perfect continuous tense 'I've been working' is appropriate to indicate an action that started in the past and continues to the present. Also, 'since' should be replaced with 'for' when referring to a period of time.

× It provides me an opportunity to do my task at my own pace and his style and, uh, the administration is very supportive and the colleagues are very, uh, cooperative.

✓ It provides me an opportunity to do my task at my own pace and style, and the administration is very supportive and the colleagues are very cooperative.

The pronoun 'his' is incorrectly used to refer to the speaker's style; it should be 'my' to match the subject. Also, the sentence is corrected for clarity and redundancy.

× Besides that I also want to join an administration so that I can resolve the issues which which are are in hurdle in the growth of the children.

✓ Besides that, I also want to join the administration so that I can resolve the issues which are hurdles in the growth of the children.

The phrase 'join an administration' is incorrect; 'join the administration' is appropriate when referring to a specific organization. The repeated words 'which which are are' are errors and should be corrected to 'which are'. The phrase 'in hurdle' is incorrect; 'hurdles' is plural and should be used without 'in'. Also, a comma is needed after 'Besides that'.