Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 你的回答中存在语法错误，如"I'm work"应为"I work"或"I'm working"，以及"I already graduate"应为"I graduated"。建议注意时态和主谓一致，表达更自然。

例: I am currently working as a vocal teacher. I graduated ten years ago and have been teaching music since then.

提案: 回答中信息丰富，但句子结构重复，缺少连贯的连接词。建议使用连接词使表达更流畅，如"I work at a music school in Beijing, and I also teach music in kindergartens and private classes."

例: I work at a music school in Beijing, and I also teach music in kindergartens and private classes.

提案: 回答中有语法错误和表达不完整，如"after graduated a lot of young people like"不清楚。建议简洁明了地表达观点，并使用连接词。

例: Yes, I think it's a good place to work because Beijing is the capital city of China and offers many opportunities for young people.

提案: 回答中有语法错误，如"all the stuffs"应为"all the staff"，句子结构不够清晰。建议简化句子并使用正确词汇。

例: Yes, I like the place where I work. Although it's not a big company, the staff are like friends, and we often share ideas and experiences during our free time.

提案: 回答表达简单，"personal and tiny music place"不够自然。建议使用更地道的表达，并丰富细节。

例: In the future, I plan to open a small private music studio where I can teach students in a more personalized setting.

× I'm work right now, I already graduate for 10 years and I'm currently working as a vocal teacher.

✓ I'm working right now, I already graduated 10 years ago and I'm currently working as a vocal teacher.

句子中“I'm work”应为进行时态“I'm working”，表示正在进行的动作；“I already graduate for 10 years”时态错误，应该用过去式“graduated”并加上时间状语“10 years ago”，表示过去发生的动作。

× I already graduate for 10 years and I'm currently working as a vocal teacher.

✓ I already graduated 10 years ago and I'm currently working as a vocal teacher.

“graduate for 10 years”中介词使用错误，正确表达应为“graduated 10 years ago”，表示毕业的时间点。

× I'm working in Beijing right now and I work in the music school and I also teach the music in kindergarten and the private classes as well.

✓ I'm working in Beijing right now and I work at a music school and I also teach music in kindergartens and private classes as well.

“work in the music school”应使用介词“at”表示在某机构工作；“teach the music in kindergarten”中“the music”不需要定冠词，且“kindergarten”应为复数“kindergartens”，表示多个幼儿园。

× I'm working in Beijing right now and I work in the music school and I also teach the music in kindergarten and the private classes as well.

✓ I'm working in Beijing right now and I work at a music school and I also teach music in kindergartens and private classes as well.

“kindergarten”应为复数形式“kindergartens”，表示多个幼儿园；“the private classes”中“the”可去掉，且“music”前不加冠词。

× So after graduated a lot of young people like.

✓ So after graduating, a lot of young people like it.

“after graduated”时态错误，应使用动名词“after graduating”；句子不完整，缺少宾语“it”。

× Yes I do, although it's not a big company but all the stuffs there we all like friends like we can share our ideas or our experience with each other during our free time.

✓ Yes, I do. Although it's not a big company, all the staff there are like friends; we can share our ideas and experiences with each other during our free time.

“stuffs”错误，正确名词为“staff”，表示员工；句子结构混乱，需分句并调整语序；“experience”应为复数“experiences”。

× Yes I do, although it's not a big company but all the stuffs there we all like friends like we can share our ideas or our experience with each other during our free time.

✓ Yes, I do. Although it's not a big company, all the staff there are like friends; we can share our ideas and experiences with each other during our free time.

“although... but...”结构重复，应去掉“but”；句子应分为两句以增强表达清晰度。

× Maybe I will open a personal and tiny music place to teach the music.

✓ Maybe I will open a small personal music place to teach music.

“tiny”用法不自然，改为“small”更合适；“personal and tiny music place”词序调整；“teach the music”中“the”应去掉。