Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear but could be more concise and natural. Avoid unnecessary details like the exact time since graduation unless relevant. Also, use a direct topic sentence to answer the question first, then add details if needed.

例: I am currently working at a coffee shop called Emergence. I graduated a year ago and started this job soon after.

提案: Good direct answer with a relevant detail. To improve, capitalize proper nouns correctly and avoid overused phrases like "Canadian's favorite coffee spot" unless you can support it. Also, add a linking phrase to make it more natural.

例: I currently work at Tim Hortons, which is a popular coffee shop chain here in Canada.

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and hesitant. Try to give a clear opinion first, then explain with specific reasons using linking words. Avoid filler words like 'uh' and incomplete sentences.

例: It's a fast-paced environment, so it can be hectic at times. However, I enjoy the challenge and the energy of working there.

提案: Avoid repeating previous answers. Start with a clear topic sentence and use linking words to connect your ideas. Also, try to be more concise and avoid filler words like 'umm'.

例: Yes, I like working there despite the hectic moments because I enjoy interacting with customers and making coffee.

提案: Good content with clear future plans. To improve, use more precise vocabulary and avoid vague phrases like 'brighter options'. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: Although I enjoy working at Tim Hortons, I have recently enrolled in a healthcare program to pursue a career in that field in the future.

× It's just fast-paced environment.

✓ It's just a fast-paced environment.

The sentence is missing the indefinite article 'a' before the singular countable noun 'fast-paced environment'. In English, singular countable nouns require an article or determiner. Adding 'a' makes the sentence grammatically correct.