Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more natural and clear by avoiding redundancy and filler words like 'uh'. Also, use simpler and more direct expressions. For example, say 'I work as a registered midwife at a hospital and I am also studying for my master's degree.'

例: I work as a registered midwife at a hospital, and I am also studying for my master's degree.

提案: Avoid repeating previous answers and try to give a direct and clear response. Use linking words to make your answer coherent. For example, 'I work at a maternity hospital where pregnant women come for appointments and delivery.'

例: I work at a maternity hospital where pregnant women come for appointments and delivery.

提案: Improve sentence structure and grammar. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. For example, 'Yes, it is a good place to work because I have always liked helping people, and now as a midwife, I can assist mothers and fathers who need help.'

例: Yes, it is a good place to work because I have always liked helping people, and now as a midwife, I can assist mothers and fathers who need help.

提案: Avoid filler words and improve clarity. Use more precise vocabulary and linking words. For example, 'Honestly, the hospital building is a bit old-fashioned; it could be more luxurious and modern instead.'

例: Honestly, the hospital building is a bit old-fashioned; it could be more luxurious and modern instead.

提案: Avoid filler words and improve sentence flow. Use linking words to connect ideas. For example, 'Honestly, I am thinking of migrating to a developed country where the quality of life is better than in my current country.'

例: Honestly, I am thinking of migrating to a developed country where the quality of life is better than in my current country.

× I am a registered midwife at a hospital and hence I am a student at the major of master degrees.

✓ I am a registered midwife at a hospital and hence I am a student majoring in a master's degree.

The phrase 'at the major of master degrees' is incorrect. The correct expression is 'majoring in a master's degree' to indicate the field of study. Also, 'master degrees' should be singular possessive 'master's degree'.

× Uh, so I'm both of them.

✓ Uh, so I am both.

The phrase 'both of them' is incorrect because 'both' here refers to two roles the speaker has, so 'I am both' is sufficient and grammatically correct.

× I mean a people who are likely to deliver babies come there and have appointment, set appointment with us and come for delivery.

✓ I mean people who are likely to deliver babies come there, make appointments with us, and come for delivery.

The article 'a' before 'people' is incorrect because 'people' is plural and does not need an article here. Also, 'have appointment, set appointment' is awkward; 'make appointments' is the correct collocation.

× Yes, it is absolutely a good place because when I was a kid I always liked to help people and now as I grown up and I'm a midwife, I can easily help mothers and dad need help.

✓ Yes, it is absolutely a good place because when I was a kid I always liked to help people and now as I have grown up and I'm a midwife, I can easily help mothers and dads who need help.

The phrase 'as I grown up' is incorrect; the present perfect 'have grown up' is needed. Also, 'dad' should be plural 'dads' to match 'mothers', and 'need help' should be 'who need help' to form a relative clause.

× Honestly, the interior building of the hospital is a little bit old and it, uh, could be very luxurious and very classy instead.

✓ Honestly, the interior of the hospital building is a little bit old and it could be much more luxurious and very classy instead.

The phrase 'interior building' is incorrect; it should be 'interior of the hospital building'. Also, 'could be very luxurious' is better expressed as 'could be much more luxurious' to indicate a desired improvement.

× Uh, well honestly I'm thinking of migrating to another country so I would like that country to be a developed country and the life quality would be better than my current country.

✓ Uh, well honestly I'm thinking of migrating to another country, so I would like that country to be a developed country and the quality of life to be better than in my current country.

The phrase 'life quality' is better expressed as 'quality of life'. Also, 'better than my current country' should be 'better than in my current country' to correctly use the preposition 'in' for comparison of places.