Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to avoid filler words like 'uh' and be more precise with your vocabulary. Also, clarify the field of study correctly to avoid confusion. For example, 'maize management' seems incorrect; perhaps you meant 'business management' or another field. Keep your answer concise and clear.

例: I am a student studying international tourism and business management at a university in Macau.

提案: Avoid repetition and filler words. Respond directly and clearly. For example, say 'I am currently a student, so I do not have a job yet.'

例: I am currently a student, so I do not have a job yet.

提案: Avoid hesitation and filler words. Provide more specific reasons why you consider it a good workplace to make your answer more effective and natural.

例: Yes, I think my school is a good workplace because it offers a supportive environment and excellent resources, which is why I hope to work there in the future.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains many filler words. Try to organize your thoughts before speaking and use linking words to connect ideas. Also, clarify what you mean by 'journalists' if relevant. For example, 'I like my university because it has a professional atmosphere and many experienced staff members.'

例: Yes, I like my university because it has a professional atmosphere and many experienced staff members who inspire me.

提案: Avoid filler words and repetition. Use correct grammar and be specific about your plans. For example, 'I have clear work plans for the next five years. After graduation, I plan to work for three years to gain experience.'

例: I have clear work plans for the next five years. After graduation, I plan to work for three years to gain valuable experience in my field.

× I am a student studying international tourism and maize uh management uh at university located in Macau.

✓ I am a student studying international tourism and maze management at a university located in Macau.

The phrase 'at university located in Macau' is missing the article 'a' before 'university'. In English, singular countable nouns usually require an article. Also, 'maize' seems to be a mispronunciation or typo for 'maze' or another word; assuming 'maze management' is intended. The correction adds the article 'a' to make the sentence grammatically correct.

× Actually, I'm now a I'm a student so I don't have the job.

✓ Actually, I'm now a student, so I don't have a job.

The sentence contains redundancy and awkward phrasing: 'I'm now a I'm a student' is incorrect. Also, 'the job' is incorrect because the student is referring to any job, so 'a job' is appropriate. The correction removes redundancy and fixes article usage.

× Umm, if I have to say, I would say my school is a good workplace and it's my dream workplace in the future.

✓ Umm, if I have to say, I would say my school is a good workplace and it will be my dream workplace in the future.

The phrase 'it's my dream workplace in the future' mixes present tense 'it's' with a future time reference 'in the future'. To express a future aspiration, 'it will be' is more appropriate. This corrects the tense inconsistency.

× I'm involved today, my university, umm, I think I will be really fascinated by the uh, school atmosphere because it's very professional and they have a lot of uh, journalists and umm.

✓ I'm involved today at my university. Umm, I think I will be really fascinated by the school atmosphere because it's very professional and they have a lot of journalists.

The phrase 'I'm involved today, my university' is unclear and lacks proper preposition and punctuation. Adding 'at' clarifies involvement location. Also, the sentence is split for clarity. The word 'and umm' at the end is unnecessary and removed for correctness.

× My future work, plus I think I do have a clear, uh, work plans in the future, uh, in the next five years and after graduate, I will working for three years, umm, in order to, uh, accumulate my working work.

✓ Regarding my future work, I think I do have clear work plans for the next five years. After graduation, I will work for three years in order to accumulate work experience.

The original sentence has multiple errors: 'work plans' should be plural without 'a' before it; 'after graduate' should be 'after graduation'; 'I will working' is incorrect, should be 'I will work'; 'accumulate my working work' is awkward and unclear, better expressed as 'accumulate work experience'. The correction addresses tense, article, and word choice errors for clarity and grammatical correctness.