Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve clarity and fluency: give a concise topic sentence stating your job, correct institution name if possible, avoid repetition, and add one or two clear supporting details (roles, duration). Use linking words (for example, "and", "also"). Aim for 2–3 sentences, correct grammar (present continuous vs simple present), and precise vocabulary ("lecturer" or "nursing instructor").

例: I work as a nursing instructor at Brown Regional College of Nursing, and I have been teaching there for two years and four months. My main responsibilities are delivering classroom lectures and supervising clinical practice for student nurses.

提案: Be direct and grammatical: begin with a clear topic sentence naming your workplace and its location. Then add one specific detail about the place (size, environment) using a linking word like "and" or "which". Avoid fragmented sentences and incorrect verb forms.

例: I work at Brom Russian College of Nursing, which is located in a small, quiet town. It’s a peaceful environment that I think is good for both studying and living.

提案: Focus on a clear opinion followed by specific reasons. Start with "Yes" or "No", then give one or two coherent reasons using linking words ("because", "and"). Correct grammar (plural/singular, tenses) and use precise vocabulary ("colleagues", "supportive").

例: Yes, it is a good place to work because my colleagues are generally friendly and supportive. When I first started, they helped me a lot with teaching and settling into the role.

提案: Keep the answer natural and structured: give a direct response, then two specific reasons. Avoid fillers like "uh" and fix sentence structure. Use linking words like "not only... but also" correctly and choose accurate words ("close-knit", "welcoming").

例: Yes, I like working there because it is a small but very welcoming, close-knit environment. The staff are always willing to help, which makes me feel supported and valued.

提案: State your plan clearly and give one or two specific reasons. Use correct tense and vocabulary for study plans ("this year I would like to study a postgraduate diploma/master's in nursing in Scotland"). Explain how the qualification will help with concrete tasks (teaching, supervision) and use linking words like "so" or "so that".

例: This year I would like to study a postgraduate diploma in nursing in Scotland so that I can gain up-to-date knowledge and improve my teaching skills. With this qualification, I hope to offer better clinical supervision and clearer guidance to my students.

× I'm currently working I'm working as a nursing refiller at Brown Rational College of Nursing Authority where I have been teaching for two years and four months. Especially in pretty act like nursing, my main responsibilities are teaching students in the classroom and.

✓ I'm currently working as a nursing lecturer at Brown Rational College of Nursing Authority, where I have been teaching for two years and four months. Specifically in practical nursing, my main responsibilities are teaching students in the classroom.

Mixed and redundant present tense phrasing and incorrect word choice: 'I'm currently working I'm working' is redundant; use a single present continuous 'I'm currently working'. 'Nursing refiller' is incorrect word choice; likely 'nursing lecturer' fits teaching. The clause 'where I have been teaching for two years and four months' correctly uses present perfect continuous/ perfect for duration; keep as 'have been teaching' or 'have taught'. 'Especially in pretty act like nursing' is ungrammatical and unclear; revise to 'Specifically in practical nursing'. Ensure sentence ends with a clear object for responsibilities: 'teaching students in the classroom.' Suggestion: avoid repeating verbs, choose correct occupational nouns, and use clear noun phrases for areas of specialization.

× I working at Brom Russian College of Nursing, graduated in a small town, is in a quiet place and. A good for growing up.

✓ I work at Brown Rational College of Nursing. I graduated from a small town, which is a quiet place and a good environment to grow up in.

Subject-verb agreement and tense errors: 'I working' lacks auxiliary or correct verb form; use simple present 'I work'. 'Brom Russian' seems a mis-transcription; corrected to 'Brown Rational' to match earlier. 'Graduated in a small town' should be 'I graduated from a small town' (use 'from' with 'graduate'). The clause 'is in a quiet place and. A good for growing up.' is fragmented and missing subjects; combine into a relative clause 'which is a quiet place and a good environment to grow up in.' Suggestions: ensure each clause has a subject and verb, use correct prepositions with 'graduate', and avoid sentence fragments.

× Gas but sometime my coworker dinner finally generous and friendly and help me to to student in the first time I come to this place it's very hard.

✓ Generally my coworkers are friendly and generous, and they helped me with the students when I first came to this place because it was very hard at the beginning.

Pronoun and article issues, tense consistency, and word choice: 'Gas but sometime' is unintelligible; likely intended 'Generally' or 'At first'. 'my coworker dinner finally' is incorrect; should be 'my coworkers are friendly and generous'. Use plural 'coworkers' to match. 'help me to to student in the first time I come to this place' has infinitive and tense errors; change to 'helped me with the students when I first came to this place.' Maintain past tense for past events ('came', 'helped') and include connectors ('because it was very hard at the beginning'). Suggestions: choose appropriate adverbs, keep subject-pronoun agreement, and match verb tenses to the time frame.

× Yes, of course, because uh, this place is not only small place, but also but heartwarming place for me people. Indeed, they are always willing to help its actor I.

✓ Yes, of course, because this place is not only small but also very heartwarming for me. Indeed, the people here are always willing to help me.

Article and word order issues and incorrect pronouns: 'not only small place, but also but heartwarming place' repeats 'but' and misuses 'place'; correct parallel structure is 'not only small but also very heartwarming.' 'for me people' is incorrect word order; use 'for me.' 'Indeed, they are always willing to help its actor I' has incorrect pronoun 'its actor I' — replace with 'help me.' Suggestions: use parallel structure with 'not only... but also', position modifiers correctly, and use correct object pronouns.

× In this year I would like to study a PSD nursing in Scotland because it's helped me to gain the knowledge to to teach the student. When I teach the student and supervising them, I have experience a lot to advise.

✓ This year I would like to study for a post-registration (or postgraduate) nursing course in Scotland because it will help me gain the knowledge to teach students. When I teach and supervise students, I will have a lot of experience to draw on and give advice.

Tense and word form errors: 'In this year' is awkward; use 'This year'. 'study a PSD nursing' is unclear; likely 'study for a postgraduate nursing course' or 'post-registration (PSD) nursing' — use correct noun phrase. 'because it's helped me to gain' mixes present perfect with future intention; use 'it will help me gain' for intended future benefit. 'to to teach the student' has duplicated 'to' and wrong article; use 'teach students'. 'When I teach the student and supervising them, I have experience a lot to advise' mixes forms: use 'When I teach and supervise students, I will have a lot of experience to draw on to give advice.' Suggestions: choose correct course name, match tense to intended future action, remove duplicate words, and use clear verb forms for 'teach' and 'supervise'.