Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct minor grammar mistakes. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two supporting details. Avoid redundant phrasing (e.g., "in this October" → "this October").

例: I work for a news agency in Japan. This October I came to London to study climate change and environmental policy, and after I finish a master’s degree I plan to return to Japan and resume my job.

提案: Give a direct, grammatical topic sentence about the location, then add one specific reason why it’s convenient. Watch prepositions and choose accurate adjectives ("delicious" describes food, not restaurants).

例: I work in central Tokyo. It’s convenient because there are many restaurants and bars within walking distance, which makes it easy to meet colleagues after work.

提案: Correct grammar (no extra 'Is'), give a clear opinion then one or two specific supporting reasons. Avoid repeating phrases like "I think" twice. Use precise vocabulary for stress and commute.

例: Yes, I think it’s a fairly good place to work because it’s in central Tokyo, so the commute is short. Also, the workload is generally manageable, so most colleagues don’t feel overly stressed.

提案: State your preference directly, then give a clear, specific reason. Use more natural adjectives ("quiet" or "calmer") and avoid awkward phrasing like "more soft." One or two supporting details suffice.

例: Not really. I prefer quieter, rural settings because I grew up in the countryside and find that calm surroundings help me relax and refresh my mind.

提案: Begin with a clear statement of your plan, then give specific reasons. Avoid saying "as I can easily"—explain why contact with public figures is motivating (e.g., learning, networking). Use parallel nouns (politicians, comedians, businesspeople).

例: I hope to continue working as a journalist for the foreseeable future because the job is intellectually stimulating and lets me interview people from different fields, such as politicians, comedians, and business leaders, which helps me learn and build professional contacts.

× I work at the news agency in Japan. However, I came to London in this October to learn about climate change issues and environmental problems.

✓ I work at a news agency in Japan. However, I came to London in October to learn about climate change and environmental problems.

Two issues: article use and time expression. Use 'a news agency' (general workplace) instead of 'the' when not specific. Say 'in October' not 'in this October' in past context. Also 'climate change issues and environmental problems' is wordy; 'climate change and environmental problems' is more natural.

× After getting a master degree, I plan to go back to Japan and restart my job.

✓ After getting a master's degree, I plan to go back to Japan and resume my job.

Use correct noun form 'master's degree' and verb collocation 'resume my job' (not 'restart my job') for returning to previous employment.

× My workplace is on central area of Tokyo and it's very convenient for everyone because we can easily socialize at a nice and delicious restaurants and bars.

✓ My workplace is in the central area of Tokyo and it's very convenient for everyone because we can easily socialize at nice and popular restaurants and bars.

Use preposition 'in' for areas (not 'on'). Add article 'the' before 'central area' to specify it. 'a nice and delicious restaurants' is ungrammatical: 'restaurants' is plural so remove 'a' and use appropriate adjective 'popular' rather than 'delicious' to describe restaurants overall; 'delicious' describes food, not restaurants.

× Is I think the workplace of my company is not too bad because it is located in the central Tokyo and we can easily commute every day.

✓ I think the workplace of my company is not too bad because it is located in central Tokyo and we can easily commute every day.

Remove stray 'Is' at the start which is incorrect. Also article 'the' before 'central Tokyo' is unnecessary; say 'in central Tokyo' or 'in the center of Tokyo'. Sentence then correctly expresses opinion in present tense.

× I think it is not very stressful for everyone.

✓ I think it is not very stressful for most people.

'Everyone' is too absolute; use 'most people' for a general statement. This is a lexical/modality nuance rather than strict grammar, but improves accuracy of meaning.

× No, I wouldn't like the place where I work at the moment because I was born in one of the rural areas in Japan, so I prefer more soft and calmer environments as I can refresh my mind.

✓ No, I don't like the place where I work at the moment because I was born in a rural area in Japan, so I prefer softer and calmer environments where I can refresh my mind.

Use present simple 'don't like' to describe current preference rather than conditional 'wouldn't like'. 'One of the rural areas' is awkward; use 'a rural area'. Adjectives modifying 'environments' should be comparative or coordinate: 'softer and calmer' is correct. Use 'where' to link to purpose 'I can refresh my mind'.

× I would like to continue working as a journalist as long as possible because this job is very stimulating as I can easily get in touch with a famous person like a politician, a comedian and a businessman.

✓ I would like to continue working as a journalist for as long as possible because this job is very stimulating; I can easily get in touch with famous people like politicians, comedians and businesspeople.

Add 'for' in 'for as long as possible' for correct idiom. Use plural 'people' after 'famous' and plural forms for examples. 'Businesspeople' is better than 'a businessman' to match plural list. Semicolon improves sentence flow.