Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce hesitation and repetition, start with a clear topic sentence, and use one or two supporting details. Avoid filler words (um, uh) and incorrect forms (e.g., “intermediated”). Use linking words to connect ideas more smoothly.

例: I am a visiting faculty member at Government College University. I teach intermediate students subjects such as Civics, Pakistan Studies and the History of Pakistan, so I work mainly in the humanities department.

提案: Give a direct location statement first, then one clear detail about your role or the students. Correct grammar (use articles and singular/plural: 'the oldest university', 'the intermediate department') and avoid too many hesitations. Use linking words like 'also' or 'mainly'.

例: I work at Government College University in Lahore, which is one of the oldest universities in Pakistan. I teach in the intermediate department, where students come from streams such as FSc (Pre-engineering), FSc (Pre-medical) and ICS.

提案: Give a concise reasoned answer with one or two specific points. Avoid repeating the same idea (e.g., 'very good' multiple times). Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example' to structure the explanation, and finish the sentence clearly.

例: Yes, it is a great place to work because Government College University has an excellent national reputation and a strong academic environment. For example, students and colleagues are motivated and intellectually engaged, which makes teaching rewarding.

提案: Answer directly and avoid repetition. Use correct collocations (e.g., 'opportunities to participate in extracurricular activities' not 'do visa to participate'). Provide one specific example of activities and use linking words like 'also' or 'for instance'.

例: Yes, I enjoy working there because GCU offers many opportunities to participate in extracurricular activities. For instance, both students and staff take part in debate clubs and cultural events, which creates a vibrant atmosphere.

提案: Give a clear, forward-looking topic sentence and specific, grammatical details about your plans. Avoid tense and word choice errors (e.g., 'I plan to work in academia', 'I am doing quantitative research', 'work hard on South Asian politics'). Use linking words like 'currently' and 'in order to'.

例: I plan to pursue an academic career. Currently I am doing quantitative research, and I am applying for master's and PhD programs in public administration and political science so that I can work on South Asian politics in academia.

× I, I am a working man.

✓ I am a working man.

Unnecessary comma disrupts sentence flow and is not an article error but punctuation; however keep as simple declarative sentence without extra comma. Suggestion: remove repeated filler and extra punctuation to make statement clear.

× I work as a visiting faculty in government college, university.

✓ I work as visiting faculty at Government College University.

Use the preposition 'at' with institutions. Capitalize proper noun 'Government College University'. Do not use a comma between college and university. Suggestion: use 'at' for workplaces and capitalize institution names.

× I teach to uh, intermediated students.

✓ I teach intermediate students.

Do not use 'to' after 'teach' when followed by the direct object. Use the adjective 'intermediate' not 'intermediated'. Remove filler 'uh'. Suggestion: 'teach intermediate students' is correct.

× So in the subject of civics and Pakistan studies and history of Pakistan, yes, I am in the field of teaching.

✓ I teach civics, Pakistan Studies, and the history of Pakistan; yes, I work in the field of teaching.

Use parallel nouns without 'the subject of' and add 'the' before 'history of Pakistan'. Use a semicolon or split into two clauses for clarity. Suggestion: list subjects plainly and use 'the field of teaching' for natural phrasing.

× I'm working person.

✓ I'm a working person.

Missing article 'a' before a singular count noun. Suggestion: include the indefinite article: 'I'm a working person.'

× Hey I work in Government college university Lahore.

✓ I work at Government College University, Lahore.

Avoid casual 'Hey' in formal answers. Use 'at' for institutions and place the city after a comma. Capitalize proper nouns. Suggestion: 'I work at Government College University, Lahore.'

× Uh Government college university is a oldest university in Pakistan.

✓ Government College University is one of the oldest universities in Pakistan.

Use 'one of the oldest' (superlative group) and plural 'universities'. Do not use 'a oldest'. Capitalize name. Suggestion: 'one of the oldest universities' is correct.

× So when there is a different department, I work in intermediate department where the students come from school uh in different uh, FSC, pre engineering, UH pre medical ICS.

✓ I work in the intermediate department, where students come from schools such as FSc Pre-Engineering, FSc Pre-Medical, and ICS.

Use 'in' for departments and plural 'schools'. List examples clearly and use standard names with commas. Remove filler sounds. Suggestion: 'students come from schools such as...' improves clarity.

× Yes, I think this is one of the best place to work because Government College University has a very good reputation in Pakistan and in government College you have many people, they have a very good mind, they have a very good intellect and there is a very good environment to study and to teach the very good student because.

✓ Yes, I think this is one of the best places to work because Government College University has a very good reputation in Pakistan. At Government College, there are many capable people with strong intellects, and there is a very good environment for studying and teaching.

Use plural 'places' with 'one of the'. Use 'there are' to introduce plural nouns. Avoid repetitive phrases and incomplete sentence ending 'because.' Use 'intellects' or 'intellectual ability'. Suggestion: split into shorter sentences and avoid repetition.

× Yes, I love to work in in my workplace because I said earlier, because in in GCU there is so much opportunities to do visa to participate in different extracurricular activities.

✓ Yes, I love working at my workplace because, as I said earlier, at GCU there are so many opportunities to participate in different extracurricular activities.

Use 'at' for workplace, 'working' gerund after 'love', and 'there are' with plural 'opportunities'. Remove duplicate 'in in' and incorrect 'visa'. Suggestion: use 'opportunities to participate' and correct prepositions.

× Even the student and the teachers participate in different activities.

✓ Even the students and the teachers participate in different activities.

Mismatch in number: use plural 'students' to agree with 'teachers'. Suggestion: ensure noun number consistency.

× So there is a very vibrant environment.

✓ So, there is a very vibrant environment.

Add comma for natural pause; sentence is otherwise acceptable. Suggestion: keep as 'there is a very vibrant environment' or 'The environment is very vibrant.'

× I went to work in academia before I graduated from government college university.

✓ I wanted to work in academia before I graduated from Government College University.

'Went to' is incorrect here; 'wanted to' expresses intention. Also capitalize institution name. Suggestion: use 'wanted to work in academia' to indicate prior intention.

× Right now I'm working in the research in a quantitative research.

✓ Right now I'm working on quantitative research.

Use 'working on' for research projects and avoid repeated 'research'. No article needed before 'quantitative research'. Suggestion: 'working on quantitative research' is concise and correct.

× So I'm applying for different masters and PhD programs related to public administration and politics that can help me to work in academia and work hardly in the South Asian politics.

✓ I'm applying for different master's and PhD programs related to public administration and politics that will help me work in academia and to work hard on South Asian politics.

Use possessive form 'master's', 'will help me' rather than 'can help me to', and 'work hard on' instead of 'work hardly' (which means rarely). Remove 'the' before 'South Asian politics'. Suggestion: use 'work hard on South Asian politics' and correct degree naming.