Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a direct topic sentence, avoid repetition, use correct tense and articles, and limit to 2–4 sentences. Add one specific detail (which country and why) and link ideas with a clear connector.

例: I am a student. I am currently studying for a bachelor's degree in economics, and I plan to go to Canada for my master's to specialize in international economics because I want to work on global policy issues.

提案: Answer directly and briefly. Say you do not work now and give a clear reason. Use correct grammar (subject-verb agreement, articles) and a linking phrase to explain your focus.

例: I don't work at the moment because I am focusing on completing my bachelor's degree in economics. I want to concentrate on my studies so I can apply for a master's program abroad.

提案: Be direct: acknowledge you don't have workplace experience, then speculate briefly and plausibly about what makes a good workplace. Use linking words (however, but) and correct verb forms.

例: I haven't worked before, so I can't judge a workplace firsthand. However, I think a good workplace has supportive colleagues and clear opportunities for professional growth, which would help me contribute effectively.

提案: Answer confidently and be specific about aspects of the workplace you would like. Use natural phrasing and one linking word, and correct noun/verb forms (relationships, help me with my work).

例: Yes, I expect to enjoy the workplace atmosphere. I would like a friendly team and open communication because strong relationships with colleagues help me collaborate and perform better.

提案: Provide a clear plan and realistic alternatives. Use correct phrasing (become an economist; economics professor) and link ideas (if, or). Keep to 2–3 sentences and be specific about steps or timeline.

例: My main goal is to become an economist, preferably working in policy research or an international organisation. If that doesn't work out, I would consider becoming an economics professor and teaching at university while continuing research.

× I am a student, currently I'm pursuing my bachelors degree in economics.

✓ I am a student; currently I'm pursuing my bachelor's degree in economics.

Use of possessive apostrophe is required for bachelor's degree (article error / noun form). Also a semicolon improves clause connection. Suggestion: write 'bachelor's degree' and ensure punctuation is clear.

× Now I wish to go abroad for my further studies and sure I build my future as an economist.

✓ Now I wish to go abroad for further studies and be sure I will build my future as an economist.

The original mixes tenses and has incorrect structure. Use 'for further studies' (remove 'my') and future construction 'will build'. Suggestion: use 'will' for future intentions and simpler phrase 'for further studies'.

× Apart from this I go to Canada for my master degree.

✓ Apart from this, I want to go to Canada for my master's degree.

Original uses simple present incorrectly for a future intention and misses possessive apostrophe. Use 'want to go' or 'plan to go' and 'master's degree'. Add comma after introductory phrase.

× When I earlier mentioned I am a student and I not interested to work recently because I focus on my goal and pursue my degree in economics so it is my big goal of.

✓ As I mentioned earlier, I am a student and I am not interested in working right now because I am focusing on my goal of pursuing my degree in economics.

Multiple issues: word order, missing auxiliary verbs, incorrect infinitive usage, and awkward ending. Use 'As I mentioned earlier' for reference, 'am not interested in working' (verb+ing after 'interested in'), present continuous 'am focusing', and 'goal of pursuing' to complete the idea.

× Well, I'm not interested in work, so I can't guess about how the environment of the workplace.

✓ Well, I'm not interested in working, so I can't say how the workplace environment is.

Use 'interested in working' (preposition + gerund). 'Guess about how' is awkward; use 'say how' or 'describe how'. Place 'is' at end for clear sentence.

× But sure, in future I get a job, I contribute, contribute myself.

✓ But surely, in the future I will get a job and contribute.

Use 'surely' instead of 'sure' as adverb, 'in the future' with article, and future tense 'will get'. 'Contribute' does not take 'myself'; remove redundancy. Suggestion: 'I will get a job and contribute to my field' for clarity.

× Of course, when I start to work in future, definitely I enjoy the atmosphere of the workplace.

✓ Of course, when I start working in the future, I will definitely enjoy the atmosphere of the workplace.

For future situation use 'will enjoy'. Use 'start working' (verb+ing) and 'in the future' with article. Place adverb 'definitely' before verb for natural order.

× Moreover, I will make my relation with my colleagues more strong, which help me for my work.

✓ Moreover, I will build stronger relationships with my colleagues, which will help me in my work.

'Make my relation more strong' is unidiomatic; use 'build stronger relationships'. Pronoun/verb agreement: 'which will help me' requires future auxiliary. Use preposition 'in' my work rather than 'for'.

× Well, I will try to become an economist.

✓ Well, I will try to become an economist.

Sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. Suggestion: optionally say 'I will try to become an economist' or 'I plan to become an economist' for clarity.

× Moreover, I thought about to become a economic professor when I can't pursue my dream.

✓ Moreover, I thought about becoming an economics professor if I cannot pursue my dream.

Use 'thought about becoming' (verb + -ing) not 'thought about to become'. 'Economics professor' is the correct noun form. Use conditional 'if I cannot' rather than 'when I can't' for this hypothetical. Also match tense and modal: 'cannot' fits here.

× But definitely without any doubt.

✓ But definitely, without any doubt.

Fragment lacking connection to previous sentence; adding comma clarifies it as emphasis. Better: 'But definitely, without any doubt, I will pursue this.' Suggestion: combine with previous sentence to avoid fragments.